Trotters, Arabians, Donkeys and Other People - Page 127 - The Horse Forum
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post #1261 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 08:15 PM
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I watch because it is interesting, or try it too. Then people point out to me that I am an adult.

Hah ha ha ha ha. I can just see you doing that, after thoroughly enjoying your two horse books!!!
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post #1262 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 08:24 PM
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Originally Posted by SueC View Post
This old thread still disgusts me (even after moderating) - and it disgusts me how many people click the "like" button when someone is being rude to another person.

https://www.horseforum.com/horse-tra...6/#post5624786
You made some good points in that thread. I wonder how many hundreds and thousands of teens have started horses on their own just by reading books or even just using trial and error. I've met young women who are not necessarily great riders or trainers, but they certainly knew what worked for their own horse and could ride that horse beautifully and do tricks.

I wonder how many pro trainers actually had another trainer tutor them through the training process. I've met a few that started out by training a horse or two on their own, spending some time winning at shows, and then offering their services to others. I never went through a horse starting program with a trainer, but I can certainly start a horse under saddle, as can you and many others on the forum. Including @knightrider , and perhaps @Knave , right?
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post #1263 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 08:26 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by gottatrot View Post
Pretty much when kids do crazy things, I watch because it is interesting, or try it too. Then people point out to me that I am an adult.
, @gottatrot ! However: While childishness isn't good in an adult, childlikeness (as you're showing there) is a good characteristic to have - trying out new things, being slightly deranged and good-crazy, being amazed by things jaded people find boring, being open and loving, saying what you mean, etc. I think of humans as being like cross-sections of trees; all your ages are still inside you, and I think the people who are reconciled to that, and celebrate and honour that, are actually the most mature people in many ways.

Some past posts on...

Annual rings:

https://www.horseforum.com/member-jo...post1970589861

Looking deeper than the surface, journalling, and "weird" people:

https://www.horseforum.com/member-jo...post1970589823

Brett told me last night I should make a thematic index for my journal, now that it's so long!

SueC is time travelling.
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post #1264 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 08:26 PM
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@gottatrot

I love you gottatrot! You are awesome. I hope that others here will be as lucky as I was to meet gottatrot face to face and ride with her. I'm sorry, I can't help but brag. It was such fun!

One of the things I am most excited about as a new parent, is that now that I have a child, I am going to have plenty of excuses and chances to be silly and childlike (in a good way), and relive the joy of childhood.

ETA: Thanks Sue, childlike, not childish
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"You can do something wrong for thirty years and call yourself experienced, you can do something right for a week and experience more than someone who spent thirty years doing the wrong thing." ~WhattaTroublemaker
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post #1265 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 08:46 PM Thread Starter
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Who needs an excuse?

Although I've got to say, there has been a lot more of that in my life, since I married my co-conspirator!

Trotters, Arabians, Donkeys and Other People-img_7852.jpg

Trotters, Arabians, Donkeys and Other People-img_5961.jpg


More silly photos here for anyone who missed them:

https://www.horseforum.com/member-jo...post1970610387

SueC is time travelling.
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post #1266 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 09:10 PM
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Ive never commented on your thread before, but I do read it regularly, i think we have the same taste in Sci-Fi and I wonder if you've ever seen the show Firefly by chance? but I thought I'd jump in on the point of criticism, mental health and the idea of addressing teenagers. Because often us Young folks need more tact and care than we would like to admit, and those teen years are difficult. I don't care who you are. I'm 22. Still young with fiery blood and not so removed from an angsty phase. I have a wonderful relationship with both my parents... Now. There was a period of time when my relationship with my father was somewhat violent, and not good. He never whacked me, but there was a lot of yelling and lording over that came from his own insecurities and the fact that every teenager ever is frustrating. I have forgiven him, I feel safe around him, there is a lot I respect about him, and love him very very much.

I grew up Christian, and over the years attending various churches that preached a "shove it down their throats" evangelism after we came stateside, my family grew up missionaries in Haiti and were solidly not in that camp, namely because it doesn't work, and it NEVER is respectful to a thinking human being who is made in the image of God. It's one of the few things I think is clear cut.

That method also doesn't work with horses. If you think it does I have a long list of mounts that put significant time and misery teaching me that's not the case. And they'd be happy to oblige the uninitiated.

The method that works with people or animals to develop a good working relationship is the same: be willing to see and address their weaknesses and refuse to abandon them. That looks totally different depending on what you're riding/ who you are talking to. With my horse it means not shoving with the spur when he's not under himself in canter (I ride dressage) and instead taking the time to either start again or get off his back so he can rebalance. My horse is not afraid to make a mistake with me. He trusts me to be consistent, to give the same aids and do what I can to help him in the job I've put him to. When I signed his bill of sale I made the promise to be responsible for his well being, that means looking to his physical needs and because I want a partner, being willing to change myself so that the work comes easy. I have not put him in a method or a program that I expect him to cookie cutter fit. He doesn't know. He doesn't understand. He only exists in the reality I've created for him, he can't research what I'm doing, he can only respond. That means I have a heck of a lot of moral responsibility to him to make that reality a good one. No bad rides. I must have empathy.

When it comes to people, we don't get to make the call that "since you've had this stimulus or since you are presently in this situation you should feel this way". That's individual. How we experience life is individual. My good friend grew up in an incredible home with incredible supportive parents, and she struggles with suicidal thoughts and depression. To be a good friend, I must meet her where she is in her pain and be there to support her. I can't diagnose why. That's not my call. I can't tell her how she should feel. That's not my call. I can't tell her that because she's had a phenomenal upbringing and phenomenal support that she shouldn't struggle this way. That's not my call.

My boyfriend grew up in a house where they hid the knives so his mother couldn't kill herself, where violence was the rule and not the exception. He also struggles with mental health, but of a different flavor. I can't tell him he shouldn't feel anxious. I can't tell him that he's the way he is because of how he grew up. I cant tell him that it's genetic and he will always be this way. None of those are my call. My best service is to support him where he is weak, and to help him when he is low.

If I assume his bad past has defined him or if I assume the good past should define how my friend feels, I havent been considering the right things. If you're going to cope with mental health or loneliness or abuse you need someone to come along beside you, not to peer at your "resume" and contest the results. It's a breach of trust.

It's weird to me that people are unwilling to contend with the quirky horses, every one I've seen has settled out with good training. But I think these same people would back away from helping the quirky people. But the bad horses you can sell on and the hurting people you can ignore or blame on someone else when it finally boils to an ugly head. Maybe it wasn't the hard spoken person's fault they struggled or responsibility to see to their care. But by golly WHO ARE YOU if you do not? What higher form of cruelty is there than to neglect pain and suffering as if it isn't there.




Sorry. You can have your thread back.i really don't like the flippancy with which the behaviour of children/young adults is dealt with. It really grinds my gears.


I showed my Fellow pictures of your strawbale house and now we want one. But our climate may be too cold.

Cheers
gm


"Stay ON the horse IN the arena" -my trainer.
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post #1267 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 09:13 PM
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I also have been reminded I am a grown up on several occasions. Lol

Yes @gottatrot , I have started horses under saddle. Like my little one though, I had a lot of experience surrounding me. I never remember not riding, and I have raised my kids the same. Most kids who grow up in my culture start a horse or two, maybe even just so that they have the confidence that they can. We still hold some old feelings like that.

Now, my brother never started a horse, but he never had any interest in horses. My oldest also is not interested in starting horses, although she rides for work and enjoys her horse. She does plan on being the person who does most of Bonesís riding this spring so that her sister may use her horse for work and she can get some experience with a younger horse.

I donít think it is a mandatory thing in this day and age. I told the girls that the only mandatory I had for them was the ability to work with the family. This means that they need to be horseman enough to get their jobs done, but they donít need to have a hobby that is horses as well.

Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you? - Balaamís Donkey
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post #1268 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 09:35 PM Thread Starter
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@lostastirrup , I've no idea why you're apologising, you're totally welcome to be here and to chime in!

I wish there was a love button - that was such a wonderful, heartfelt, insightful, wise, super-articulate post from you - thank you so much for writing it.

It makes my day to know that there are people like you in this world - beacons of light in an often dark place. This will make such a difference to so many people - and other creatures! I'm particularly over the moon when it's younger people who are articulating such things. I'm GenX, a really rotten generation in many ways, my leaving yearbook was full of cited ambitions like "I want to be a millionaire by the time I'm 25!" and "I want to get rich and to get laid as much as possible!" and "I want to have a villa in France and a jet-boat and marry a photographic model!" blah blah blah (we should request a vomit emoji; here's an imported one: )

Oops, that a bit big!

The first generation I taught were GenY, and such an improvement on what my generation had been. I'm often reminded of the saying, "Change happens one funeral at a time!"

It feels good to know that there are people being born who are going to be an improvement on the world average attitude. That you're still going to be here and shining your light when I'm dust. Great stuff - thank you!

My DH loves Firefly and tried to sell it to me several times. I'm not instantly hooked - probably the environment putting me off - I'm not as much of a SciFi buff as he is. But I did really adore Wonderfalls, and if I'm not mistaken, I think there's a common production element to that somewhere... And I love Dead Like Me...

I'll tear myself away now, everyone, and actually do some work! Have a great evening, and remember, the coffee is in the pantry over there!

SueC is time travelling.
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post #1269 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 09:57 PM
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I'm actually not really sure how all the generations line up. But I don't think mine is particularly improved from the last one. Different issues maybe, but plenty of our own sins.


You really should give Firefly a second try. Have a glass of wine with it if you must to get through the setting, it will grow on you quickly I promise. And you'll be as sad as the rest of us that it ended.

Best of luck doing actual work. I've been trying all afternoon to no avail.
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post #1270 of 2159 Old 11-12-2018, 10:39 PM
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@lostastirrup

Hello fellow 22 year old!
Yes, I'm 22. With a two month old now. I don't like to admit it, because somehow things I say become of less worth once people find out my age. But this is not a thread where that would happen.

@SueC

Your husband has the same light in his eyes. Such happy people. You two are a great couple
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"You can do something wrong for thirty years and call yourself experienced, you can do something right for a week and experience more than someone who spent thirty years doing the wrong thing." ~WhattaTroublemaker
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