i know this is an annoying thing to say- but it wasnt even a case of releasing at the right time, there was litterally no response, not even a slight slow down when i asked to stop... im going to do somemore work on the ground, before my next ride to remind her, and hopefully that will clear it up a bit...
may i ask- what is the right time for a stop? some times she starts to stop and i release pressure, only for her to then speed up again- do you wait for a slow? or untill they are stationary?
Respectfully, no, you aren't 'annoying' by asking the above, but it does make me think you(& she) need more than internet forum comments - would really benefit from some hands on lessons in basic training, to get solid on that, before you try to 'up the ante' trying to teach her tackless. You need to understand training principles yourself & be good at putting the basics into practice, before you try to teach it, I think.
If you're not getting any kind of response, you're being ineffective and the horse has no clue(or doesn't care/knows she doesn't have to) what is wanted. In this case, I'd start by using the reins at the same time as the neck rope & your seat. Eventually you should be able to 'faze out' the reins, then the neckrope. But if you try to do without too soon & the horse learns she doesn't have to 'listen' to the neck or seat cues, then you've only taught her not to listen to them. So make sure you can be clear & effective.
Not sure if I get 'right time to stop' question, but I think you're asking when to release pressure/quit 'asking' something? Horses learn from *instant* reinforcement, so the instant she *thinks* about stopping to start with. Only after she is soft & reliable about stopping at all, do you 'build' on that, by asking her to stop for xx period of time or whatever.
sounds like her- but we have come along way and i havnt lost an arguement in months- she defo trusts and respects me, but probably is testing the waters as its a new style of riding- she did the exact same thing when i started riding bareback, so ill have to prove her wrong :)
Horses learn to do what works & quit doing what doesn't work. If you're absolutely positive she understand exactly what you want - eg. others can do these things with her - then she's not doing what you want, because there's no good reason for her to do so. While 'arguing' by way of force is the normal way to get a horse to do something for someone, I think there are better ways, and I would strive NOT to 'argue' but find ways to get her to WANT to do as you ask. Ensure it always works for her to do as you ask, so that you can both be Right, she doesn't have to be 'proven Wrong'.
possibly, i keep the pressure on untill she is how i want her to be, which was often 90o in the second lesson... so maybe she began to associate the release of pressure with turning that amount... ill try maybe doing a snake pattern, but ive not tried that with reins before (she could easily do it, just hasnt been a reason to) or maybe just some circles.
I think it sounds like you're expecting your end goal too soon... expecting a high school answer from someone who's in kindergarten. Reinforce those kindergarten answers & get them good first, before working on 'grade school' stuff... So I wouldn't worry about neckreining until she's good at doing stuff with reins, wouldn't worry about patterns, be they snake, circle, whatever, until you can get the basics, the first steps. Don't trot either, until you've got stuff down pat at a walk too.
things like this- they seem to be more of a confusion, rather than anything malicious (ik horses dont feel mallice and all that but i dont know a better term- like when she does something bad AND she should know better)
Great you appreciate horses aren't malicious. If a horse understands exactly what is wanted(lets assume) and they don't do it, or they do something opposite('bad'), then either something is hurting them or frustrating or frightening them, to do what is asked, or they have no good reason to do it, or a good reason to do the opposite. So looking at the motivation behind responses is important to understand too.