Buying a horse for my daughter! Thoughts? - Page 6 - The Horse Forum
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post #51 of 90 Old 09-15-2015, 08:39 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by bsms View Post
At its heart, this thread is about my 7 year relationship trying to learn riding on "too much horse". I adored Mia in many ways, but I learned a lot of bad habits too.

https://www.horseforum.com/horse-ridi...3/#post7464529

In some ways my daughter is a better rider because she learned on a horse who is happy to do this with her...not a lesson, just goofing off cantering on a horse who is happy to goof off cantering with her:




I read your original post and it brought tears to my eyes. Mia was lucky to have you. A lesser rider would have given up, fought with her, gotten angry with her or just gotten away from horses altogether.

While I'm sure you learned a lot and so did your daughter, honestly, I am too old and not experienced enough to deal with such a challenge. Also, I know my daughter as she's pretty much a chip off the old block. Neither one of us thrives on biting off more than we can chew. We do like a challenge, but in a structured environment.

The search continues...
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post #52 of 90 Old 09-15-2015, 10:36 AM
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The first horse I bought for my 8 year old daughter was too much horse for both of us. She wasn't green but was strong willed. We kept her though and my 14 yo niece rode her while my daughter rode another horse. Three years later we've both learned a lot because of that first mare who is now my daughter's favorite ride. There is no perfect horse. Unless you plan to upgrade frequently I'd caution you not to buy a horse your daughter will quickly grow out of. It wasn't my intent but I'm glad I bought a horse we could learn from and my daughter could grow with. Good luck with your search.
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post #53 of 90 Old 09-15-2015, 01:00 PM
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Sorry to hear it didn't work out Everything happens for a reason though, for sure the right one will come along!
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post #54 of 90 Old 09-15-2015, 01:30 PM
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When you do find the right horse you'll have a PPE done, let the Vet advise you on X rays when that happens. My vet has a portable unit that he can take to barns so you should be able to find someone like that.
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post #55 of 90 Old 09-15-2015, 02:37 PM
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It sounds like a good idea to pass on this horse. I've been through the horse buying process and know how disappointing it can be! We found one absolutely perfect horse, only for him to not pass the vet check. We found one horse, only to find out that she was insane because a friend of the owner contacted us privately. That could have ended up being a huge mess.

However, at the end of the day I ended up with a wonderful horse. Now that I'm horseless I dread going through the process again, but we do what we need to for the right match!
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post #56 of 90 Old 09-15-2015, 03:46 PM
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Just a thought - your daughter wants to show jump competitively so a 15.2 to 16hh horse that's going to be steady and quiet enough for her as a 10 year old might not have enough 'pop' in it when she's 16+ to do the bigger more challenging courses
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post #57 of 90 Old 09-15-2015, 03:59 PM
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Oh, also forgot to mention that this horse does not at all look too big for your daughter! I definitely wouldn't say that there's a need for her to go any smaller. When I was young and taking lessons at my first barn I always ride full sized horses with no problems.

I do agree with the above that a horse who is suitable for her now may be outgrown as she gets older. I don't mean height wise, but ability wise. You say now that you're planning on keeping this horse for life, but what if her goals lead to her needing a more competitive horse as she ages?

I think the idea of you taking over the current horse as a hacking buddy is a good one, but it would probably be several years before she would outgrow whatever you buy now. What will you do for a companion horse (once you get your own barn) until then? Or can you buy your daughter a horse, buy yourself a horse when your property is ready, and then buy a third horse if she needs to upgrade? Something to consider. Finding a horse that's suitable for a 10 year old that can also be competitive as she moves up the levels can be difficult. It's a long ways away, but something you must consider if you aren't willing to sell the horse as she grows.
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post #58 of 90 Old 09-16-2015, 11:54 PM Thread Starter
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Just a thought - your daughter wants to show jump competitively so a 15.2 to 16hh horse that's going to be steady and quiet enough for her as a 10 year old might not have enough 'pop' in it when she's 16+ to do the bigger more challenging courses
Indeed, and there's now way to predict that so we're going to aim for the best possible fit and continue to put temperament above everything. Worse comes to worse, she gets a new horse and we keep a companion horse (we're building a 4 stall barn so we'll get me a horse eventually and there's room for a third). Or we find a new home for the one she learned on, but I see too many old-in-the-tooth been-there-done-that horses being discarded by young riders. I'm in this for the long haul within realistic parameters of course. So yes, DuckDodgers, there is the option of having 3. It would allow us to have an extra for visiting friends.

Of course, it's possible she'll lose interest in jumping too. If we have a good, sound, sane horse that can do trails, maybe that's something to fall back on. I know that's all I need.

I get that there's no way to plan for everything, but I think that I have a responsibility to plan for the foreseeable.

I was interested in a horse yesterday... talked to the owner. Perfect, bomb proof jumper. Here's the hitch: the horse is 19. Sure, it might still be able to jump for a couple of years, maybe even five, but what then? I don't think it's fair to us or the horse. There are others out there, I know, and we can wait if we have to.

I sure hope the right one is out there.... I keep telling myself that if we buy the wrong horse just because we want to buy a horse, we might just miss out on the right one.
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post #59 of 90 Old 09-17-2015, 01:23 AM
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Actually, from the sound of things you'd be a pretty decent home for an older horse. You have a 10 year old who isn't done growing in height or ability, so she may be interested in moving on to a more advanced horse in the coming years. Your main goal for your own horse is to have something that's quiet and good on the trails. You have the means (barn wise, and I'm going to assume monetarily as well) to take care of three horses, and would consider adding a third to the herd at some point as an "extra horse", or as a replacement if your daughter outgrows the one you buy for her.

It can be hard to place older horses (for obvious reasons) so you could probably get a pretty good deal on a seasoned, bombproof, kid safe jumper compared to buying a comparable, but younger horse. Even if the horse only stays sound for jumping for another three years your daughter will be 13 at that point. She'll be closer to her final height, and will have matured a lot in her riding career over those years- particularly being able to ride more frequently on her own horse. She also may have a better idea of where she wants to take her riding career... Whether or not she has any interest in showing, if jumping is still her thing, or if she just wants to play around with her horse. You can buy the appropriate horse for her at that stage once the older horse starts to slow down or your daughter maxes out his abilities.

Many older horses may eventually wind up unsound with heavy riding (jumping, etc) but will stay sound for regular, lighter riding like fun trail rides. Not the hard core long or hilly trail rides, lol. May be a fun horse for you to hack around with when your daughter is done with him, or a good guy to keep around if you have any guests come over or if your daughter has a friend that wants to ride with her.

Of course, all this is dependent on you being able/willing to provide care to an aging horse. Eventually tough decisions may need to be made about when to limit work, retire a horse, or end of life calls. Sometimes those tough calls happen when a horse is 30, sometimes when he's less than 10. But if you're able and willing to provide care for a horse as it gets older I wouldn't necessarily discount an older horse as a good first horse for your daughter.
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post #60 of 90 Old 09-17-2015, 07:05 AM
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On the age front:

We bought DD's pony 2 years ago, when she was the ripe ol age of 23. She has given the kids 2 brilliant years of gaining confidence, learning to be soft with their hands, and numerous rosettes. She's now 25, and the only reason I am choosing to slow her down is because while she thinks she is still young - I know it's not fair on the ol body now that DD is getting more interested in jumping.

I wouldn't trade these past two years for anything - the appreciation I have for what this pony has done for DD I can't express. Yes she can be a lil tart to catch, and she's as moody as heck on off days but we love her all the same.

I knew she was getting to the retirement stage a few weeks ago when we went to a show and she wasn't her normal "look at me" self. We've found a new, bigger pony for DD who is a steady-lazy type and the polar opposite of what she has now. He's not young either, he's mid teens but I don't need young. He's going to teach her a million different things. While she's getting to grips with jumping and moving forward on the new one - our old pony can be walked on the lead with DS, still be cuddled and stuffed full of carrots or apples... but don't tell our pony she is "retired"! I'm convinced she is in denial about how old she truly is!
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Stop for a minute, open your mind, learn. You may not agree with what I say, I may not agree with what you say but we will both learn something new.
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