Can someone cheer me up like a lot - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 27 Old 12-10-2014, 09:07 AM
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Originally Posted by horselovengirl123 View Post
The hardest part is Google looks just like Opal somedays I can't stand to even look at him let alone groom. Feeling this way makes me even more depressed. I've been trying to get back on for almost 2 years now. All my husband says is it'll take time and I hate him for saying that because I know that. I miss horses so bad . Am I just being baby about it Google is such a good horse I hate a banding him like this. I just wish I could have Opal back even though she was the most hot headed stubborn horse I ever meet she got on my nerves all the time and now I would grade my live for hers any day. Not that Google isn't amazing. I just don't know what to do. The hunter that shot Opal came to Thanksgiving this year I flipped out and hit him in the face thinking it was all his falt but really it was all mine.
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I hope you apologized to him. Do you think that day was easy on him? He didn't do anything wrong, he shot his own dog, saved your horse from suffering & saved your life too.
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post #22 of 27 Old 12-10-2014, 12:18 PM
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sounds like you got yourself a great new horse! when i get scared about something i just say to myself "snap out of it" and tell myself im being really stupid and acting like a baby and to just get on with it already, then just get on and go for a nice ride in a place you know is safe and before you know it you'll realise the fear was just silly. It works for me! hope this helps.
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post #23 of 27 Old 12-16-2014, 01:01 PM
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I had a horse that died, Ebony. She was black with a white star and a white hind leg. It's not like it was in a accident or anything like yours, but she was my first horse and had taught me everything. I started shopping for a 2nd horse. I found a mare (Ebony is a mare) that had the exact same markings as Ebony. I said no, but she kept coming back to me. I did not want a horse that looked like my precious Ebony. Eventually, I came around and got her. I rode her once and it was really hard. I didn't do anything with her for a while. I would ride her and I would have to force myself to remember that this wasn't Ebony because they were so much alike. But, as time passed, it dulled the pain and I began to see Midnight as a whole other horse, though she make look the same, her head is narrower and longer, her legs are slightly crooked, she has a whole different personality. She is a completely different horse. You have to remember that. Notice the differences, not the similarities. I ride Midnight daily and yes, occasionally I get visions of Ebony, but she is Midnight and always will be. I couldn't have asked for a better horse. I had a amazing connection with Ebony and thought I would never get that with Midnight as it just clicked with Ebony and hadn't with Midnight. But, it is building, it is not as strong as it was with ebony, but it is definitely there. Just keep trying. See him as google, not opal.
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post #24 of 27 Old 12-16-2014, 05:33 PM
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Anyway you can take some lessons from a trainer who has experience in working with people who have issues with fear? A few friends of mine who were also badly scared by previous experiences have found trainers who are very patient and accustomed to working with students who are dealing with a lot of fear.

Sometimes having a quiet, calm person who is a professional rather than a friend or family can help diffuse the situation. One of my friends even rode on the lunge line on a steady horse for several months after resuming riding after a wreck before feeling comfortable taking the reins herself. But the instructor was so positive, encouraging and creative in coming up with a variety of exercises and tasks my friend could do on the lunge line that it was really a confidence building exercise for her that helped her become balanced, secure and comfortable in the saddle again.
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post #25 of 27 Old 12-16-2014, 05:55 PM
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sorry to hear about your fall

but if you slapped the guy that put your horse out of its misery years ago (happened when you were 12-13 - and you are now old enough to be married) you still have a lot of growing up to do

my only advice is to not pity yourself - it gets you nowhere

i was beaten, abused, and starved as a kid -- self-pity is a selfish act that accomplishes nothing
when you let it define you and your actions, you limit yourself
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post #26 of 27 Old 12-18-2014, 04:38 PM
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I think that you should start by lunging and working with Google on the ground. Do things like 'chasing him up'. This means chasing him around free lunging for, say twenty to thirty mins and then see if he will follow you. If Google follows you it will improve your confidence and trust in him immensely. When your ready tack Google up and ask someone experienced to help you. Watch the person lunging Google so you can see how good he is being. Then, if you want you can leave it for a while if you wish, ask the person to leg you up. This means that you don't have the memories of getting on from the ground (or mounting block you didn't say) and that very traumatic fall happening. Then you can start controlling him with the knowledge you have an experienced person having extra control on Google. When your ready you can start riding him not on the lunge but still with the experienced person with you. Over time you can spend more time getting on without a leg up and less time with the experienced rider. Don't rush yourself and remember you can always take a step back if you need to.
I'm very sorry this happened to you and I hope this helps.
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post #27 of 27 Old 12-18-2014, 08:00 PM
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While I'm not exactly in the same position, my first attempt at riding again after 20 some years resulted in a nasty fall when the horse just would not cooperate. I see now he really wasn't ridable, but I don't want to be saying the same things in a year! I have arthritis, mildly, and sometimes the aches and pains in my joints kind of call "bed" instead of "saddle" if you know what I mean. I've had two decent offers of places to look at to ride, and I might take them up on it, but it would have been nicer to start earlier in the year. As it is, another fall would be a real disaster now. So, I'm feeling reluctant to saddle up. I doubt it's that uncommon.
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