Convince parents to let you get a horse - HELP - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 18 Old 03-15-2016, 10:22 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Foxhunter View Post
Riding once a week for three years is nothing - around 116 hours, you say nothing about learning management.

I know where you are coming from, I spent every waking hour I could at the riding school as a child learning all I could. My parents were non horsey and when I asked them about getting a pony the answer was simple, "No, we cannot afford it."

Hard at the time but I now know that it was for the best and that not having a pony of my own enable me to ride all sorts of different ponies thus giving me a far better equine education.
I am actually learning about looking after during my lessons unlike many many other riding schools where you need to pay extra to learn about management we all groom, tack up and feed the horses as well
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post #12 of 18 Old 03-15-2016, 11:27 PM
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It's definitely not as simple as "I want a horse, and think I am ready for one". Regardless of your parents being non-horsey, that really has little to do with their decision I am sure. Horses are a HUGE expense. Just because so-and-so only pays $400 for board/feed/stall bedding, or so-and-so is able to rent a field for $250/month does in no way mean the costs end there. I've paid anywhere from $500-$1500 in board per month/per horse. Some barns are much more however. So just because you're lucky and find a cheaper barn in your area, does not mean that barn is the best choice for your horse/you. And if you have to move one day and there are minimal choices? Tough luck.

I have said it before and I will say it again, cost depends greatly on area. And just because you find a "cheap" facility near you, does not mean you'll be able to stay there forever. Things come up and can force a move. So-and-so spends $200 on hay per month? Great for them. Not every horse can get away with that - as well as hay costs rising at times. Some horses need supplements too. One of my mare's is on a supplement that costs $120 per month - that doesn't even include any of her other feed or other supplements.

Who is going to pay vet bills? A vet call out fee in my area is $90 ($110 if emergency). Teeth floating is $250, and one of my mares needs done every 6 months. And then there's routine vaccinations. And emergencies. One summer I spent close to $3500 in emergencies and ongoing care for ONE mare.

I think the minimum I have ever spent in one month on my mares is around $1200. And that's only if no bedding/feed needs bought, no blankets or misc. items need replaced, no farrier that month, supplements don't need re-bought, etc etc. The most I have ever spent in one month is probably around $3500-$4000 - and that does not include previously mentioned emergency visit.

Anyone who lives in an area where things cost significantly less is very lucky - however, some of us are not blessed to live in a lower cost area. Even so, cost adds up. Horses have different care needs, some require supplements or special farrier work. Sometimes there are emergencies that can easily rack up thousands of dollars quite quickly. Sorry to say, but I don't blame your parents for saying no.

Continue with lessons. Perhaps talk to your coach about leasing one of her horses and have her talk to your parents.
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post #13 of 18 Old 03-16-2016, 01:25 PM
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Try to persuade your parents to loan a pony/horse. After a few years you can confidently say to your parents that it is obvious you will stick out with looking after and caring for a pony. Also explain how you will help as much as you can to pay for the expensive fees of looking after a horse. This may be the reason your parents don't like the idea of buying a horse because they simply cannot afford the costs.
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post #14 of 18 Old 03-16-2016, 01:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Horsef View Post
Telo them you will be to poor to buy drugs
Or that girls are interested in 2 things.... horse and boys. Which would they prefer?
LOL
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post #15 of 18 Old 03-16-2016, 02:25 PM
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My suggestion....stop trying to convince your parents. Instead...ask them if you can find an agreement with an owner who has a horse that needs riding. The horse gets worked abd kept in shape, you get to ride (how often depends on your agreement with the owner) and the owner gets a rider for a horse that otherwise would just be sitting.
Another suggestion...get a part time job at a barn. You can do it in exchange for ride time, or for money, which you can use to pay for more lessons.

This would satisfy your need to ride, and show your parents that your serious.
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post #16 of 18 Old 03-16-2016, 02:41 PM
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Most of the posts have concentrated on how expensive horses are - which is VERY true. But to look at it a different way, here is what parents' money goes to - and many parents do not earn enough take home income to provide for luxuries, such as a horse:
  • Mortgage/Rent - depending on your area of the country it can be $700-$1500 easily
  • House maintenance/repairs (if your parents own their house)
  • Gas to heat the house
  • Electricity
  • Phone costs
  • Cars - maintenance/repair/gas and Insurance (insurance is not cheap & is a monthly cost) - if your family has multiple cars that cost increases
  • Food - depending on the size of the family, a considerable expense
  • Clothes for the family - again size of the family increases the cost
  • Medical/dental insurance (some employers may not provide this or provide less coverage than a family needs or requires a contribution for coverage which increases by family members) & co-pays
  • School expenses - which could include college expenses
  • Cable/Satellite TV/internet (although some consider this a luxury, which it is if you are pinching pennies)
And if you have siblings, your parents will have to juggle their outside/extra curricular interests in addition to yours (and their own).

So, your parents have to fit all the above (and probably some things I didn't list) into their take home pay. Not an easy task, especially if it is a big household.

I am just offering this to consider when asking for something which is expensive and they say no. As many indicated, they may want to BADLY (I know my parents did - I did not get a horse until I was in my 30's!), but they may not be able to afford it. Kudos to those kids who were old enough and took the initiative to get earn money to fund their passion. That is awesome!
Speed Racer and beverleyy like this.
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post #17 of 18 Old 03-16-2016, 04:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnalisaParalyzer View Post
My suggestion....stop trying to convince your parents. Instead...ask them if you can find an agreement with an owner who has a horse that needs riding. The horse gets worked abd kept in shape, you get to ride (how often depends on your agreement with the owner) and the owner gets a rider for a horse that otherwise would just be sitting.
Another suggestion...get a part time job at a barn. You can do it in exchange for ride time, or for money, which you can use to pay for more lessons.

This would satisfy your need to ride, and show your parents that your serious.
^^^^^^ THAT, RIGHT THERE^^^^^^^ That's your answer.

When I got hurt a few years ago and wasn't able to ride for a summer, I asked around our county horse & pony 4-H project for a kid that was willing to ride for me. There were a ton of them just looking for something to ride. There's always a demand for kids willing to do that, especially if we don't have to pay you! I know it's not the same thing as owning your own horse, but if you're able to develop a good relationship with an owner sometimes some pretty good things come out of those relationships.

You said you've gone out to ride once a week for the last 3 years. Is that because after exhausting all your resources that's the only ride you can get to take you to the barn? And by exhausting all your resources I mean have you talked with other families at the barn if you could get a ride from them, if you live near the barn are you able to bike there without getting run over, etc. Is that because the barn owner doesn't want people hanging around or helping out unless they are taking lessons?

Just going off of the little info that you've provided, maybe there's more to your efforts than you've said, but you haven't shown the over the top desire to have a horse that it sometimes takes for non-horsey parents to see how much this means to you. As a "horsey" parent, I'd be skeptical of what kind of commitment you're willing to put into owning your own horse rather than finding some to work with.

"Just because I don't do things your way, doesn't mean I don't have a clue"
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post #18 of 18 Old 03-16-2016, 06:35 PM
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I spent years trying to convince my parents and finally at 11 I got my first horse. My mother printed up a contract for me to sign which was about keeping my grades high and my commitment to the horse. It was always clear that they owned the horse and would sell him if things didn't work.

However this didn't come without much negotiation. First I was having one lesson a week, then a week of holiday lessons every school holidays, then two riding lessons a week, then finally three. This was all cheaper than ownership. So maybe instead of jumping to ownership you can negotiate for more lessons.

The second issue is that in Australia, where i notice you live too, horse ownership is usually self care, the full care exceptions are rare and very pricey. Having a self care horse means you are responsible for all care. In most areas this means coming out daily to feed and check your horse, in winter you often need to come out twice daily to feed and rug. This happens whether you are sick or on school holidays or its raining or cold. Being I assume in your mid teens, you need to work out how that is going to happen, can you make your own way to the horse each morning and afternoon if needed? Or are you needing your parents to make a massive time commitment as well? It's a big decision for them because ultimately they are responsible. They are the ones that will need to take over care if you can't.

When you're a teenager your parents aren't thinking about your hobbies, you're likely entering an intensive period of study that is going to shape your future choices and a lot of people stop doing hobbies around your age to manage school and social commitments. Horses can help with stress, and keeping kids on track, away from boys and drugs which many parents really value - to them a horse is a small price to pay for their kids future, but many others don't see it that way.

To me the best way to convince your parents would be to negotiate to gradually up your riding lessons to mimic the sort of time commitment and financial commitment a horse will be, once you have sustained that for say six months and improved your grades then present that to your parents and, if their situation isn't changing so much, they might be more open to it. There aren't going to be any magic words to convince your parents. It's a long game, and it's done through strategy rather than begging or complaining or arguing. And still it may never be.
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