Something else I wanted to add -- just wanted to add that working with horses is an ebb and flow sort of deal. Things like 'respect' are not a once you have it, you never lose it sort of thing. We use the term 'respect' when talking about horses, but it's really not the same as how you or I might develop a respect for something. That requires more logic than a horse is capable of. When we use the term to describe horses, what it really means is the handler has properly taught the horse how they want them to behave, by being clear and consistent about where they will encounter pressure and where they will find release, and the horse fully understands, anticipates such, and stays within those parameters, so he doesn't encounter the pressure. Just because you have your horse's 'respect' one day, in one aspect, you may not have it in another way (on something you maybe haven't taught her yet), or on a different day (if you maybe dropped the ball on timing or consistency and she was able to get out of pressure in a way you didn't intend).
I really dislike the use of the term 'respect' for these reasons. I really wish people would just talk about horses in terms of pressure, release, and the anticipation of that pressure and release. Because whether we like it or not, that is truly the ONLY way a horse really thinks about things. That's all there is to training. It really is THAT simple. And I feel like it would make things a lot easier for people to understand, if we'd quit applying all the other human attributes and feelings that are not really there.
A good example is the horse I described in my previous post that has a lot of anxiety and nerves, from her past.
I can 'lead' her around without anything on her head. She will stay right with me. If I stop, she stops, if I hit a jog, she's right there with me. I can get her to move any body part, any way without making any contact with her. It's not a matter of respect, it's just that I taught her what I wanted by being clear and consistent, with good timing. The people who had her before, obviously hadn't tried to work with her on that kind of stuff, giving me a relatively clean slate to work with, so it didn't take long for me to teach her all that stuff.
But, when riding her, there have been quite a few times where she has gotten nervous or anxious and has gone to bucking hard, not because she doesn't respect me, but because she had learn in the past that it was a really effective way to get rid of the rider and the pressure. It's clear that she successfully bucked people off a number of times (myself included, once) because she definitely knows what she is doing when she does it and has no intentions of stopping until the rider is off her back. To get rid of that behavior, I have to do whatever I can to make sure the pressure doesn't go away until she stops bucking. I have to make sure bucking is not the way out of pressure for her, that in fact, it causes the pressure to increase. It takes time and repetition to erase the memories she has of bucking working for her and replace them with new memories of bucking not working and her finding release in other more suitable ways.
The sooner you can get rid of the notions of horses possessing human emotions and thought processes, the easier working with your horse will be.
You asked about horses holding a grudge... in a way, they can, but again, not in the same way humans do. Horses have a very good memory for what has gotten them release and what has brought on pressure in the past. So a horse can definitely remember a very pressure filled situation that happened. It's not that the horse is holding a grudge against you, it's just that they are remembering that a lot of pressure came from you in the past and are anticipating that it might happen again. Some horses are more sensitive to that than others. And the fairer you are about the application of pressure, the less likely they are to associate it with you, instead of the undesired behavior that brought it on. If you get in the habit of applying too much pressure as correction, dragging out the correction too long so the horse doesn't even know what action brought the pressure on, if you aren't consistent so the horse can anticipate what will incur pressure, if the timing of your corrections is off, basically anything that can lead to a lot of confusion as to what brings pressure and what brings release, then yes that can lead a horse to just associate you with pressure and cause them to resent you. If you are clear, fair, consistent and having good timing, you can get into a horse really hard for an undesired behavior as many times as needed, and the horse won't have any negative associations with you, only with the behavior they were being corrected for.
I know you mentioned I should read this, in which I did, in fact twice. Thank you for the information. This is one I will most likely read over and over time and time again.
I am getting used to horses not having human emotions and I know they are pressure and release thinkers, black and white, X and Os.