I have taken a lot of time to type up posts for you, regarding how a horse thinks and how training a horse works (and how 'respect' isn't really a thing horses understand), please read those again, until you thoroughly understand. I promise you, I didn't make that stuff up, it's something that many, many people don't understand, but it's the difference between a person who is just going through the motions and someone who really knows how to 'speak' horse. At the moment I feel like a lot of those posts have gone unread and I spent all that time typing them for nothing.
PLEASE dont think im ignoring that piece of advice, Im not. That was a very valuable piece of advice, thank you. I take every single bit of advice here seriously. I replied to it on the page before this one (that is the correct piece of advice from you that you are referring to right?) Just want to make sure.
Refraining from grazing the horse, is not about taking away a privilege, it's about trying to get her to stop anticipating that she gets to graze and screw around, by not doing it anymore. It's about making her realize that whenever she has a halter (or bridle/saddle) on, it's time for her to work and pay attention to you.
Oh ok! With that being said, no more grazing her! You think she will get the message and fairly quickly?
If she can smarten up and work her way up then I will graze her again but for now, no more grazing. And this will be tough for me because I love giving her grass, its one of my fav things to do for her.
Every time she gets away with a bad behavior, it just further cements in her mind that this is the acceptable way to behave, that this is the way out of pressure. For every time she has gotten away with something, it will probably take like twice as many times where you successfully correct her, before that behavior disappears (this is not an exact figure, just my way of illustrating how their minds work).
Yes, Im aware of that and this is why me punishing her on time and correctly each time is just eating my mind right now. I know I can do this.
That is why I suggested not messing with her at all, unless you are under direct supervision of your instructor for a while. I feel you have a better chance at successfully handling her and dealing with the issues while the trainer is right there. Every time you are unable to properly correct the horse (or praise her for doing right), it makes your job of fixing the issues, that much tougher. If you can avoid getting into situations with her, where she wins, it will help you tremendously. Even if the horse is better behaved while the trainer is there.
Repetition of days where she doesn't challenge you is MUCH better than having days where she challenges you and wins. Less interactions with her, that are all mostly positive and successful will do you a lot more good than more interactions, some of which are successful and some of which she wins. If you can't consistently win the confrontations without the trainer there, it's best to not get in them in the first place. Otherwise, you're just setting yourself back. Horses are creatures of habit. They remember what worked and what didn't work for them before, and expect/anticipate, that it will be the same the next time. If you can create more memories of the bad behaviors not working (or even not coming out in her), and avoid anymore memories of being made of bad behaviors working for her, you'll be a lot closer to getting rid of them.
I will mention this with my trainer when she gets back to me, you make very good points.
I get that you don't want to give up, but really, none of what you're going through sounds like any fun to me. It's great that you have set a goal with her, but where do you see you being able to ride her around enjoyably, coming into the picture? You are going through an awful lot of stress, just over leading her around. I'm really concerned that you may put 4 more months into this horse, or more and still not be on her back.
Right now I dont even expect to ride her til next summer at the earliest.
Im not stressed out, just fed up, frustrated, but like I said its going to change this week. Im not taking anymore BS from this mare.
The difference between your young horse and an older more broke horse, is that because your horse doesn't have years of solid training on her, she's not very forgiving. Every little mistake you make is going to be magnified because she isn't broke enough to not take advantage of you. If it is this much of a struggle for you, just to be able to lead her without her trying to bite or run you over, what kind of struggles are you going to have when you do finally move onto something more difficult? From the way you've described the riding your trainer is doing with her, I worry that she isn't doing enough to get this mare prepared for you to ride. It's my belief that the mare needs to be pushed hard, outside her comfort level regularly. That the trainer needs to be constantly seeking out weak spots in the mare and getting into those. If it were me, I'd be pushing to test her. Almost as if I was baiting her into trying to get into battles with me, so that I could have many opportunities to win those battles and let that mare know that she is not running the show. I'd push the mare harder than you ever would, so that when you rode her the type of things you'd be asking would be no problem compared to the stuff I made her do. I'd be trying to get any and all fight out of her, as soon as possible, so that she wouldn't even think of challenging you. I would be very adamant in getting the mare to where she was safe and enjoyable for you. And I would need more than 3 days a week, of just some trot work, to get that accomplished. It's not an ideal way of having to work with them, but I feel it is what would be necessary in order for you to be able to ride the young horse safely and with full enjoyment.
She pushes her but remember, she just started riding her on a consistent basis and just got past the feeling out stage. She will increase workload as time goes on but when I watched her a couple weeks ago she was pushing her pretty good. Remember she went 3 months without being ridden as well so she used the first lesson to feel her out and get to know her.
In the spring I would like to get her on 5 days a week. Like I said, as long as shes making progress thats the most important thing. But yes you are right, I need to be sure that over time my trainer will get her ready enough for me to ride.
My trainer said that she will be pushing her more and more as time goes on so that she can focus and work on her weaknesses. She already has focused and worked on her weaknesses and keyed in on them, believe she started this in the 2nd lesson.
My only concern is that she knows how sensitive my mare is and I hope because of this, it doesnt hinder her desire in how aggressive she is.