A couple questions - Page 6 - The Horse Forum
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post #51 of 1323 Old 10-13-2015, 09:55 PM Thread Starter
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Drafty, I made the change of my voice tonight. Still felt a bit awkward (cause im so used to talked to her in the baby voice), but ill adapt. I didnt talk as much to her as i normally do. I know this sounds bad but there are still times where i want to talk soft to her like when rewarding her. Is that ok?

I went up, said hi, and talked to her like if shes a person.
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post #52 of 1323 Old 10-13-2015, 10:08 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Joel Reiter View Post
You are way too afraid of making a mistake.
Yes I am but Im just so set and keen on making sure i stay as consistent as possible when giving her direction. Cause we all know horses will be the same every single time you work with them, its how their brains are wired and how they think. Its up to me to be consistent every single time.

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Your horse won't lead correctly and you are concerned about your horse being sensitive and trying to bite you and rearing and bucking in response to your attempt at correction.
She actually pretty good from what I was told. Its just that she will get distracted by things around us and try to get ahead of me. She needs to remember that im still by her side.

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You have asked whether the problem is you aren't asking firmly enough or whether the horse doesn't understand your cues. My best guess without actually watching you with your horse is that for you they're the same thing.
And thats why im so commited about me giving the correct ques and once I find ones that work with her, me being consistent, it being the same every single time. Which Im confident i am giving the right ques.

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You are so concerned about doing it right that you aren't being clear, and you are so worried about not being clear that you are afraid to correct because maybe it's your own fault. I'm guessing you are nagging your horse and your horse is sick of it.
Even though i still have room for improvement in terms of me being firm, I have gotten noticably more assertive over time.

I believe changing my tone of voice from the baby voice to my normal voice should help.

Quote:
I'm guessing it's not very close. I'm guessing you need to forget about your horse's sensitivity and start exaggerating your cues by a factor of five. Get confident, get loud, and get firm. The only way this horse will ever love you is when it recognizes you as its leader.
In other words I still need to take my assertiveness to another level.
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post #53 of 1323 Old 10-13-2015, 10:25 PM
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I gibber jabber to my horses all the time.
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post #54 of 1323 Old 10-13-2015, 11:25 PM
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I'm by no means saying don't talk to your horse ever. I'm just saying that it isn't necessary and is more for you than her. Like I said, I carry on full-blown conversations with my gelding.

The key is to remember that your tone dictates your body language...and your body language is what your horse actually gets.
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post #55 of 1323 Old 10-13-2015, 11:29 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by DraftyAiresMum View Post
I'm by no means saying don't talk to your horse ever. I'm just saying that it isn't necessary and is more for you than her. Like I said, I carry on full-blown conversations with my gelding.

The key is to remember that your tone dictates your body language...and your body language is what your horse actually gets.
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I get it. What do you talk about with your gelding that are full blown convos?
And you talk to him like you do with a family member?
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post #56 of 1323 Old 10-13-2015, 11:36 PM
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I'll tell him about my day, mostly. If I have a big decision to make or something is bothering me, I go out and talk to him about it. It's cathartic and helps me see things clearly because he doesn't talk back. When we were at our old barn, there were days when I'd had a crappy day at work, so I'd go in and sit on the ground in his stall for an hour or two and just talk to him about what had happened that day. He'd come over and drop his head into my lap and just stand there snoozing while I talked my troubles out.

But, it was always done like he was another person. Even when I tell him he's being an idiot, it's like I'm talking to a person. Only time I ever get big or loud is if he's done something to deserve it (like when he bit my boob). And I never do the baby voice. Ever. Even when praising, it's a nice, enthusiastic "Good boy!" and that's it.
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Last edited by DraftyAiresMum; 10-13-2015 at 11:43 PM.
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post #57 of 1323 Old 10-13-2015, 11:46 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DraftyAiresMum View Post
I'll tell him about my day, mostly. If I have a big decision to make or something is bothering me, I go out and talk to him about it. It's cathartic and helps me see things clearly because he doesn't talk back. When we were at our old barn, there were days when I'd had a crappy day at work, so I'd go in and sit on the ground in his stall for an hour or two and just talk to him about what had happened that day. He'd come over and drop his head into my lap and just stand there snoozing while I talked my troubles out.
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ah omg, are you serious? Im so relieved Im not the only one who does this. I have been doing the same thing with my mare. I talk to her about my day, whats on my mind, I ask how her day has been, what shes been doing, I tell her I missed her, etc.

Im worried that people may think im wierd if they hear me talking to my horse so much.

When thinking tonight, I notice that when i talk to her, often im talking to her like if shes a kid. Not a baby voice but you know, its like me telling a 5 or 6 year old a bedtime story voice. Is that bad?

So how far from the truth was the barn helper at the old barn when she kept telling me that horses like being whispered to and that it bonds you further?
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post #58 of 1323 Old 10-13-2015, 11:49 PM
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I seriously only talk to him like I'm talking to my 12yo who hates to be talked down to.
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post #59 of 1323 Old 10-14-2015, 12:10 AM
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When I used to do group riding lessons, I used to always talk to the horses I was riding and I always got praised for it. At the time I didn't see it as important just something that I did when riding.
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post #60 of 1323 Old 10-14-2015, 12:19 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by DraftyAiresMum View Post
I seriously only talk to him like I'm talking to my 12yo who hates to be talked down to.
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But you still have euthiasism in your voice when talking to him?
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