Dealing with men who think women can't ride as well - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 31 Old 10-11-2019, 10:07 PM Thread Starter
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Dealing with men who think women can't ride as well

We have a few young and cocky guys who always give the women a hard time when riding, they are always very critical of our form. Have you ever dealt with this?
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post #2 of 31 Old 10-11-2019, 10:20 PM
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I feel your post is lacking context and detail to judge the situation enable to give a good response.
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post #3 of 31 Old 10-11-2019, 10:23 PM
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Yeah. A few times. Mostly when I was competing in bareback broncs.

No biggie. I do my thing and never have done horse stuff for social reasons.

Now I own the cows. Anybody is willing to give their opinion, but nobody gives me a bad time. Not if they want paid.

Really, I never had a problem with it. Even when riding broncs. A few guys made fun of me, but most were really nice. I've worked horses from the Rockies to the east coast.
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post #4 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 12:53 PM
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All the time. I do my own thing and people can think what they want.

One time I did get even, though... a couple of guys I worked with were always giving me crap about my little paint mare, who was barely 14.2 even when she needed a trim and her shoes reset! Deriding her for her size, and making fun of me needing to ride a 'pony' and that if I was a decent rider I'd get a 'real horse.' One, who I'll call "Chad" was by far the worst.

We ended up at the same team penning one night. Chad's gelding threw a shoe. He needed something to ride so I loaned him the little mare, put her in mild bit, cinched her saddle down tight and told her to get to it. Chad made quite the scene when that mare put her ears back and went down the fence after a steer, turned the steer back and he cartwheeled off of her facefirst into the fence. She was literally going back the other direction by the time he landed.

Little mare was dirty cowy and quick. He never knew what hit him. He didn't ever say a word about her ability, size, or my riding again.
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post #5 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 01:04 PM
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Not specifically with men being derisive about my riding ability, but when I first started barrel racing on a horse instead of my pony and moved from Pee-Wee to Youth I was using a horse that belonged someone else. The horse was a 14.3 HH TWH/QH cross (most likely...but obviously not certain). He was beautiful. Jet black with a white star and two hind white socks. But obviously not registered. I got made fun of on two accounts for riding this horse. One from these girls at school that showed Arabians and made fun of me for barrel racing in general and called my horse clumsy, fat, etc for not being a graceful Arabian. Then I got made fun of with the barrel racing group for not having a registered QH or Paint like they all had.

I learned then that performance is the best response. Me and that little mutt horse won every high point series in the time I rode him. We beat those registered horses out of buckles and saddles and all sorts of nifty prizes. We also were repeatedly asked to join many teams in team penning over those kids and their fancy registered horses and we did well in a few trail competitions. I was riding the horse I had and I loved him regardless of his papers or lack thereof.

I think regardless of who is doubting you that letting your performance and your horses performance speak for itself is the best policy on responding.
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Last edited by therhondamarie; 10-12-2019 at 01:06 PM. Reason: my last sentence was incomplete
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post #6 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 02:07 PM
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Strangely enough, in my neck of the woods riding is mainly a women’s sport (it’s very common not to have a single man in a yard). Men are usually given a side-eye until they prove their ability. Special attention is paid to their hands because they have a reputation for being too strong and I’ve often heard something to the effect “This horse has a hard mouth, must have been a man that rode it previously”. 🙄
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post #7 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 02:09 PM
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people who laugh at you are probably really insecure themselves. :) This is mostly the case. It doesn't matter how your horse looks or what pedigree it has. It doesn't matter if you are a woman or a man. All that matters is is you are a good equestrian. People seem to forget that. I once had a guy tell me that women can't properly shoot a gun... I took his gun (I have rarely fired one), aimed at the target (that was small and far away) and pulled the trigger when I got the target in sight. I hit it and the man was yelling that is was merely a coincidence... pfff. I hate men like that. Answers like that only show their own weakness you know...

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out and meet it. (-Thucydides)
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post #8 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 10:27 PM
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I've never had men be derisive about my riding. They are usually either less experienced than me and welcoming of assistance, or , they are old hands who can ride me into the ground, but very tolerant of my weaknesses.


However, I HAVE encountered a few men who laughed at women, and how they handled horses on the ground; not being macho enough. I can do with out that. As can the horses.
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post #9 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 11:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZW1990 View Post
We have a few young and cocky guys who always give the women a hard time when riding, they are always very critical of our form. Have you ever dealt with this?

In general, when folks give people a "hard time", it's because they are either jealous or insecure about themselves. And that's not particular to men, that can apply to anyone. It makes them feel better when they criticize someone else.



Kill them with kindness, move on with your day, and don't waste your energy on them. It's not worth it. They are the ones who will go home with worries and concerns -- not you.

∞•*˚ Βгįťţαňγ ˚*•∞
It is not enough to know how to ride; one must know how to fall.
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post #10 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 11:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolien View Post
people who laugh at you are probably really insecure themselves. :) This is mostly the case. It doesn't matter how your horse looks or what pedigree it has. It doesn't matter if you are a woman or a man. All that matters is is you are a good equestrian. People seem to forget that. I once had a guy tell me that women can't properly shoot a gun... I took his gun (I have rarely fired one), aimed at the target (that was small and far away) and pulled the trigger when I got the target in sight. I hit it and the man was yelling that is was merely a coincidence... pfff. I hate men like that. Answers like that only show their own weakness you know...
Quote:
Originally Posted by beau159 View Post
In general, when folks give people a "hard time", it's because they are either jealous or insecure about themselves. And that's not particular to men, that can apply to anyone. It makes them feel better when they criticize someone else.



Kill them with kindness, move on with your day, and don't waste your energy on them. It's not worth it. They are the ones who will go home with worries and concerns -- not you.
This and this! Ignore them and go about your business. They are not anyone you want to impress or be friends with anyway.
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