Dealing with men who think women can't ride as well - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 10:53 PM
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I had something similar to @SilverMaple 's example … when I lived in southern Nevada there was a punk dude who lived down the street who was always mouthing off about my small, slim quarab mare. She was too small, she wasn't registered and therefore inferior to his fancy papered roping horses, etc etc etc. He didn't like me either; said I was too weak and short and would never be as good as male riders. This is during the time I was breaking colts for Bill Hunter, who gave me a lot of crap (just like he did every other person he knew - I always figured it made me 'one of the guys' and gave it right back) but also always told me when he thought I handled a horse well or put a good start on a colt.

Punk Dude came around looking for a job and Bill had just had three colts in to saddle break. He said he'd give Punk Dude a week and if he could break one of the colts better then my two he'd give him a go. Punk Dude was on his colt day one, and made a point to comment about that to Bill every chance he got, especially when I didn't climb aboard either of my two until the third day. I had to giggle when he told Bill, "She's probably not used to riding REAL horses after that scrawny thing she usually rides," and Bill replied, "You mean the one she rides bridleless?" End of the week came around and Punk Dude and I presented our work. Neither of mine were as far along as Punk Dude's, but they were both more well rounded. His had been rushed through desensitizing and had zero groundwork, so saddling was still an adventure and if you wanted to move the colt's hip or shoulder over, good luck. He also hadn't been taught to give to the bit so while he did turn, it was with his nose poked out and he had to be sort of muscled around.

Bill sent him packing with a jovial "Well at least now you can get back to your REAL horses," and I laughed so hard at the look on Punk Dude's face I thought I would choke. I ran into him a few months after that, on the day the picture below was taken, and caught him staring at Mirage while I rode. I waved, and he waved back, though only with one finger.

-- Kai
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post #12 of 31 Old 10-12-2019, 10:57 PM
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I've been really lucky to never have encountered this. I've had women whom I didn't think were respectful or polite, but I've hardly ridden with guys at all and the ones I have ridden with have been very nice. Mainly older gentlemen of the husbands of friends. But not the kind of guys you are talking about! Sounds like high school boys!

One good word of advice I discovered years horses only have to please ME. If me and my horse get along great, who cares what other people think? I've always ridden oddball breeds in Quarter Horse Arabians, Mustangs and gaited horses. Someone will always have something disparaging to say.......but if my horse pleases me, who cares! A lot of those people who say bad things about you or your horses have problems of their own. In other words, they are not ones to be giving advice!
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post #13 of 31 Old 10-13-2019, 12:56 AM
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You know, I've only ever had one man be dismissive of my knowledge and ability. He had ~4 years of experience with QH geldings, so relatively speaking, a novice who had easy horses. But because he's older than me, and a man, I couldn't possibly know what I was talking about, and he called my horse dangerous (my horse who just does normal tb mare things).
And even then he was only dismissive, not actively critical. I'd tell him xyz wasn't safe, and he'd be like "well maybe not with YOUR horse". And he was not shy about sharing his opinion that he thought my horse could only be made handleable by inserting an ounce of lead in the left ear at high velocity.

Women, on the other hand... good lord can women be witches. I've had women spread rumours about me and how I "hit my horses around the face with whips" (I don't even own a whip so idk how that's possible) and how I "starve" my horses... just because they're not obese doesn't mean they're starving, Sharon...

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post #14 of 31 Old 10-13-2019, 03:08 AM
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Strangely enough, all the guys have been really nice to me and it was always the hoity toity show girls and older women who were rude and treated me like I was a stain who knew nothing. And if enough people, over enough time, treat someone like they are *a certain way* for long enough, that someone will start to believe it's true. Particularly socially-awkward little teenage girls who are still show novices. Well, fortunately THAT phase didn't last long and all's well. I'm always thankful for my old jumping instructor. The lesson horse that he paired me with always nickered when I'd come around, and he thought that was just great. Gave me so much self-esteem just to get some positive reinforcement. His instruction was some of the best fun I ever had, albeit the most painful (you guessed it: trotting without stirrups! Bahaha!)

Never give up, never surrender!
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post #15 of 31 Old 10-13-2019, 03:21 AM
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Just go out and prove them wrong!

Having said that, in most equestrian sports, i would say there are more men at the top than women
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post #16 of 31 Old 10-13-2019, 12:19 PM
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Nope, haven't encountered it. My riding instructors growing up were mostly women, my boys' riding teachers have all been women. I learned to ride broncs and bulls from a man but I was never very good at it. Now days I doubt I could stay on a horse very long that was truly trying to unload me. I'll leave that nonsense to the younger folks. Horse trainers around here that do it for a living/serious income are mostly men but there are a couple of women who do it and are extremely good at it. Competitions wise I mainly see women in the racing/gaming events but I had a friend who did team penning into her 90s and I have seen women compete in working ranch horse and cutting events. In fact I bought one of my geldings from the lady who broke and trained him at a working ranch horse event where she took second place on him by half a point. I made her a cash offer for the horse on the spot based on his performance and she accepted and he has been hands down one of the best horses I have ever owned from that day to this. Friendlier than most dogs he will actually dance sometimes he gets so happy when you go visit him in the pasture. That lady breeds and trains ranch horses for a living and from what I can tell she does an amazing job. Anyway around here riding seems to happen more often with women but guys do still ride quite a bit here. Just as a wild guess I would say it is fairly close to even but weighted a bit toward women like maybe 60% / 40% women to men, and I have never heard a guy give a woman a hard time about her riding simply because she is a woman. Now I have seen guys give [email protected] riders a hard time because they were [email protected] horse people / riders in general but never based on gender.

Anything worth doing, is worth doing well.
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post #17 of 31 Old 10-13-2019, 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted by AZW1990 View Post
We have a few young and cocky guys who always give the women a hard time when riding, they are always very critical of our form. Have you ever dealt with this?

To answer your question, I'm a trail rider and did hard trail riding bareback the bulk of my life. I have never dealt with a gender-biased riding issue.

I have dealt with "Legends in their own minds" riders, male and female, who think they can ride/handle a horse and they can't. They are why I used to re-school very sour horses and find them good homes with people of either gender who knew how to ride and properly handle a horse.
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Last edited by jaydee; 10-15-2019 at 05:53 PM. Reason: Contacted
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post #18 of 31 Old 10-13-2019, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Jolien View Post
people who laugh at you are probably really insecure themselves. :) This is mostly the case. It doesn't matter how your horse looks or what pedigree it has. It doesn't matter if you are a woman or a man. All that matters is is you are a good equestrian. People seem to forget that. I once had a guy tell me that women can't properly shoot a gun... I took his gun (I have rarely fired one), aimed at the target (that was small and far away) and pulled the trigger when I got the target in sight. I hit it and the man was yelling that is was merely a coincidence... pfff. I hate men like that. Answers like that only show their own weakness you know...
This. Very much this.
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post #19 of 31 Old 10-14-2019, 06:01 PM
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Surprisingly on my end where I am, men who ride are not so common at times. And what's encountered are the richer 'too good for anyone' showing owners. Believe it or not some of them seem to have an issue with the 'barn helpers' and the weekly riders. As if we shouldn't be at the barn to take care of the horses no one wants to. Pft the nerve. As for gender wars..haven't seen any. The guys are a lot nicer than the woman around here.

cantering on, into the familiar and unknown
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post #20 of 31 Old 10-15-2019, 11:16 AM
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If a man offers me advice and I know I need the help, I gratefully accept it.
If a man offers me advice and I know it's hooey, I ignore it.

The same can be said of advice from another woman!

If you ever find yourself in a fair fight, it's because your tactics suck. ~ Marine 1SGT J. Reifinger
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