Does the fear go away? - The Horse Forum
 239Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
Started
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 2,246
• Horses: 0
Does the fear go away?

I don't remember ever being scared on horses as a kid. I specifically remember one incident in which I fell off, was stepped on on the stomach, and I popped back on without a second thought. There were many mishaps; that is just one that I recall.

Anyhow, now, at age 40, I mostly feel confident on a horse, but if any little thing goes wrong, it really shakes me up! A couple of weeks ago I was riding and my horse took off a tiny bit when some horses in a nearby pasture started galloping. He just lunged forward a bit...not even a full gallop stride. I never lost my seat and I never lost control. In the moment, I was fine. But after, I had that shaky feeling like you do when you have a near-miss car accident.

Do I need to find myself a dead-broke horse that just plods around, or will I gain more confidence as time goes on? We just got our horses in December, so we aren't terribly familiar w/ each other yet (riding 2-3 times a week). Also, if you haven't seen my posts before, I've been riding for about 4-5 months. Before that, I hadn't ridden since I was maybe 15.
Jan1975 is offline  
post #2 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 01:27 PM
Showing
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino Valley, AZ
Posts: 16,205
• Horses: 1
It's called self-preservation. MUCH stronger as an adult who knows what can go wrong than as a kid who doesn't care. You don't necessarily need a dead-broke horse. You just need miles.

http://i42.tinypic.com/140y8lj.png
Do not tell me I can't...because I will show you that I can.
DraftyAiresMum is offline  
post #3 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 01:28 PM Thread Starter
Started
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 2,246
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by DraftyAiresMum View Post
It's called self-preservation. MUCH stronger as an adult who knows what can go wrong than as a kid who doesn't care. You don't necessarily need a dead-broke horse. You just need miles.
You are probably right. You think with more time in the saddle and more time with our specific horses it will help?
ShirtHotTeez likes this.
Jan1975 is offline  
post #4 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 01:34 PM
Trained
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Northern Florida
Posts: 5,146
• Horses: 4
I'll have to say that for me, after getting back into horses 20 years after a whole childhood of being around them, I felt a little intimidated by them. It went away pretty fast.
greentree, Whinnie and Jan1975 like this.
LoriF is offline  
post #5 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 01:36 PM
Showing
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino Valley, AZ
Posts: 16,205
• Horses: 1
Yep, more saddle time PERIOD will help. It's good to ride different horses, as well, so you can get used to different types of reactions and be prepared for them.

http://i42.tinypic.com/140y8lj.png
Do not tell me I can't...because I will show you that I can.
DraftyAiresMum is offline  
post #6 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 01:39 PM
Showing
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: OK
Posts: 13,993
• Horses: 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan1975 View Post
You are probably right. You think with more time in the saddle and more time with our specific horses it will help?
If you're most comfortable in an arena, I'd ride there and get as much time on the horse as I possibly could. On days when I couldn't ride, I'd spend as much time as possible grooming and just "being" with him. If you're more comfortable out on trail, same advice. Start in your comfort zone.

At 40, you now know what a bad fall could do and understand the consequences to your abilities to parent, cook, clean house, earn a living. As a child, all you thought about was riding. It's a whole 'nuther mind set.

I have a friend, about your age, and she bought a green 2 year old with an awesome temper and mind and put him in full time training with the same guy I use to break my youngsters. She's had him 4 years now and still cannot relax outside of the arena and she's not all that confident in the arena. She knows I love to trail ride and asked me to pony her a few times, so that if the horse decided to get silly, someone else would already have hands on. The horse never even thought of putting a foot wrong, but SHE was the spooky one. If she'd have been a horse she'd have had that white eyed, flared nostril, snorting, jigging thing going on the whole 2 hr ride and would have gotten home completely lathered. Her horse, however, was utterly bored with it all. We did it 4 times and came to the conclusion that some folks just don't need to leave their security area. She now rides in the arena, 4-5 days a week and is making steady improvement in her skill set but not so much in her confidence. I totally will not pressure her to come out on trail with me again but would take her if she asked me to. Give it time and repetition and "sweaty blankets" for both of you and see if things improve in 6 months. I think you'll find you've gotten a lot of your natural confidence back. My friend was never a confident rider, not even as a child, and had 20+ years off when she didn't ride at all. It doesn't sound like you have that kind of lack of confidence, just more of a 40 y.o. consciousness of what could happen. Just convince yourself that it most likely won't.

Dreamcatcher Arabians is offline  
post #7 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 01:46 PM Thread Starter
Started
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 2,246
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamcatcher Arabians View Post
If you're most comfortable in an arena, I'd ride there and get as much time on the horse as I possibly could. On days when I couldn't ride, I'd spend as much time as possible grooming and just "being" with him. If you're more comfortable out on trail, same advice. Start in your comfort zone.
I am fine in an arena, actually. I rarely feel nervous there. My scary moments have all been when I've been riding around the farm (just walking). Grooming, etc. doesn't bother me at all. Neither does leading the horses around outside.

This summer, I hope to spend some time riding in a large pasture at the barn. That is kind of a nice mix between an arena and FULL freedom.

Thanks all for the words of encouragement!
Jan1975 is offline  
post #8 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 01:54 PM
Showing
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: OK
Posts: 13,993
• Horses: 9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan1975 View Post
I am fine in an arena, actually. I rarely feel nervous there. My scary moments have all been when I've been riding around the farm (just walking). Grooming, etc. doesn't bother me at all. Neither does leading the horses around outside.

This summer, I hope to spend some time riding in a large pasture at the barn. That is kind of a nice mix between an arena and FULL freedom.

Thanks all for the words of encouragement!
That sounds like a good plan, actually! And you're welcome.
greentree and Jan1975 like this.

Dreamcatcher Arabians is offline  
post #9 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 02:01 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 88
• Horses: 0
It's true what people have said already, that as adults we have a very good understanding of what can happen to us with horses. I think as kids a lot of us had a bit of an invincibility complex, I know I did anyway.

I took a break from riding as a teenager but came back while I was still in my early/mid 20s so I think I was still a bit of a kid and kept a lot of my confidence. One thing I have noticed in the decade or so since then is that many of my friends' confidence really changed when they had kids. Not sure if you have them or not (I don't), but this seems to really affect some people. It seems very reasonable too... it would actually be a bit odd if it didn't I think. The reality of people who depend on you is very important. They have straight up said that they know if they got really hurt their kids would be out of luck on a lot of things. As far as these people go, to be honest I have not really seen their confidence return too much and me and others have encouraged them to re-evaluate the kind of horses they have. Not that they need old slow plod-alongs but that their days of taking on a young green one or something a little hot and spicy are over now. I actually think that they are much happier to have horses with a few more miles that they feel they can trust more.
AbbeyX is offline  
post #10 of 62 Old 01-23-2016, 02:11 PM
Showing
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Chino Valley, AZ
Posts: 16,205
• Horses: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan1975 View Post
I am fine in an arena, actually. I rarely feel nervous there. My scary moments have all been when I've been riding around the farm (just walking).
Oddly, I'm the opposite. Get me out on the trail and I'm relaxed and happy. Put me in the arena and I have panic attacks. No idea why. Never had a bad experience in the arena. Have had some hairy moments on the trail, though. I'm weird. I know.
Wallaby, bsms, greentree and 3 others like this.

http://i42.tinypic.com/140y8lj.png
Do not tell me I can't...because I will show you that I can.
DraftyAiresMum is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Getting over a fear thorson Horse Riding & Horse Activity 1 06-14-2014 12:33 PM
Getting over fear RaiRaiNY Horse Talk 1 05-13-2014 08:59 AM
Fear Sharond Horse Riding & Horse Activity 16 07-15-2013 12:23 PM
Got over my fear :D JamieLeighx Horse Riding & Horse Activity 6 04-16-2011 01:16 AM
Fear... >.< Wallaby Horse Riding & Horse Activity 21 12-30-2009 09:39 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome