I appreciate all the input. Yesterday I was extremely broken hearted and quite upset. If I hadn't paraphrased, my post would have been 4 pages long. Its hard when explaining a sequence of events in writing to have the reader read your words with the same tone that they were written in.
When I decided I wanted a horse again, it had been 17 years since I owned one. Before that, I was riding since I was about 10, and owning my own until my family moved from Montana when I was 18. We moved to Utah and our neighbors let me ride and care for his two horses for about 3 years until I got married. There was about a three year break where I wasn't around horses, or horse people. I wanted to get back into it again, so we bought an OTT thoroughbred gelding. The man we bought him from knew we were suckers that he could unload his unsound horse onto. That horse nearly killed my daughter and husband. We were very stupid with that horse and made tons of mistakes which has caused my husband to be extremely unforgiving and bitter about horses for a long time.
Now, Im a vet tech and have a lot of medical experience with horses and have been thinking about getting a horse again for quite a while. I had been coming to this forum and reading a lot about others experiences, trials and tribulations. I started really shopping for a horse last winter. I looked at and rode quite a few horses. So I didn't just get up one day and decide I was going to go buy a horse. I didn't make the decision half-assed without putting a lot of thought in to it. The gals I work with have years and years of experience and different styles of riding. We've had dozens of conversations about horses; riding, owning, etc. I know what it costs to keep a horse healthy. I know that horses 'decide' to run through fences, cutting themselves up. I know they do crazy things for seemingly no reason at all. I know they colic at the most inconvenient times. I also know that you shouldn't go get on a horse that you just met 3 months ago without a little preparation. I didn't mention in my initial post that we did about 15 min of groundwork. I don't have a place to lunge right now with the snow, so we did a few other things. ALSO, since being thrown off back in November, I haven't been physically able to get on him. That doesn't mean hes been a pasture ornament either. Ive only missed a handful of days where I couldn't get out there and work with him. Some days its been too late to take him out, so I would go hang out and chat with him. Other days I get him out and do a few exercises Ive learned from watching training videos. One interesting fact is that my grumpy, bitter husband has grown to like my horse. He will go hang out with him, scratch his ears, etc. Just like with the cat, hes grown fond and changed his attitude. As a matter of fact, hes told me not to wash my hands of the horse. He wants me to keep trying, or find a horse more suited to my skill level. And I do agree.
When we went out yesterday, we both had positive attitudes. Ive had quite a few days where my horse wasn't in the frame of mind for work and we would both be frustrated. I learned from the members here to try to end training sessions on a positive note. So that's what I would do. On our good days, I was proud of the work we did and looked forward to getting back on him. That's why I was so heartbroken and ready to call it quits. Im still not sure what I will do. The guy I bought him from will buy him back, or trade me for another horse. There aren't too many people out there who would do that. A lot of people in this valley know him and know his reputation. He would lose a lot of credibility if he acted like a snake oil salesman.
So Im at a crossroads; sell the horse and return the tack I borrowed, or find the right horse for my skill level.
Also, I need to mention that I had my vet do a thorough pre-purchase exam. We did radiographs of feet/legs, checked teeth, conformation. He checked out to be healthy, except needed a teeth float and vaccinated. After about a 3 hour exam and dental work, I was the proud new owner...