feeling discouraged - The Horse Forum
  • 1 Post By wontquitmydaydream
  • 4 Post By PoptartShop
  • 1 Post By Kalraii
  • 2 Post By PaisleysMom
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post #1 of 5 Old 02-28-2017, 03:49 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast Georgia
Posts: 14
• Horses: 0
Unhappy feeling discouraged

So I've been trying for the past couple of years to get my foot in the horsey door, so to speak. At first, it was difficult because I didn't have a job. But I was talking with a local trainer about a sort of working student arrangement and things were looking good, then she just... vanished. Never called me back, her website went offline... Needless to say, that was disappointing. But I didn't give up.

I started doing transcription work, making some money here and there and saving my pennies. Then I finally found a "real" job (not to imply that transcription isn't a real job; I just mean a job outside the house with a set schedule and all). It's great! I'm making halfway decent money! One of my very first thoughts was "I can afford lessons now!"

The problem now is where and when. I've found a few prospects I'd like to check out, but it's all but impossible to find the time because not only do I have to have the day (or at least, certain hours of the day) off, but my GF does too. Partly because we want to take lessons together, but also because I can't drive.

Anyway, long story short, I'm just feeling really down and discouraged because I recently realized just how long I've been trying to get things to work, and in all this time I haven't even managed to get near a horse. There always seems to be something standing in the way.

I've been reading and trying to learn everything I can, but I just feel like there's this empty spot in my life and in my heart (and yes, that sounds a bit dramatic, but it's true).

I know no one can solve this problem for me and maybe I just need to be patient, try harder, whatever. Mostly, I just needed to vent. But if anyone does have any advice or encouragement or ideas, they would be very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me get this out. <3
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Last edited by wontquitmydaydream; 02-28-2017 at 03:52 PM. Reason: typo
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post #2 of 5 Old 02-28-2017, 04:11 PM
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: MD
Posts: 16,936
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Congrats on the new job. That right there is a start/step in the right direction. :) I would use this time to save money while looking for places to ride/take lessons. Hopefully there is a barn just for you that will work with your schedule & your GF's schedule as well.
It will happen! You are already almost there. It can be discouraging because you are so anxious & excited to finally get near horses, then bam something happens. I know how you feel. It will all work out though, in time.
I would start by researching a lot of places; the more the better. Maybe take a day to go to a few instead of just one or two, feel them out etc.
Patience is definitely key, plus you want to make sure everything is up to your standards. Do the places offer anything on your days off? Hopefully they can set up a time for you to go there. Try to stay positive!!! :)

Ride more, worry less.
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post #3 of 5 Old 02-28-2017, 04:21 PM
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 7
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I have no idea how lessons work on your side of the world, but here all beginners (which I assume you and your GF are) take lessons alone until they've got all the basics right. I would focus on doing lessons separately until you're both at a stage where you are able to ride together! But then as mentioned, I don't know how lessons work where you live. And I concede that the transport could be an issue.

On the "how to get lessons", there are several things that could be a possibility. In my experience, some stables often run certain programs, like a day where AIDS orphans are taught, and the stables usually doesn’t want to pay anyone to do it, and so someone does it either because they’re nice or because they get bribed with lessons/outrides. Other places also do things like disabled riding which often requires people to walk alongside the horse and another person to lead the horse. These are usually volunteers who don’t get paid (personal experience speaking there), but it can open the doors to scoring yourself some free lessons or rides in exchange, as well as owners being more helpful and accommodating and potentially bumping you up any existing waiting lists. I’m sure that there must be some stables in your area that do various programs where they need help (often over weekends), and those could be a good way to worm your way in. Ask around! See if anyone needs help with anything!
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post #4 of 5 Old 03-01-2017, 02:52 PM
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,488
• Horses: 1

I am in a similar boat. I used to ride when I was young and carefree. It has taken me about 6 years to get the point I can get back into riding, let alone owning a horse. I am planning to, at the end of this year. I think a good option for you personally would be a part share - where you share 2 days a week. Riding once a fortnight is also an option. I travel 3 hours in total for an hour ride because the area is amazing. Right now your biggest hurdle is that you want to do it together. Frankly, if you are both riding you ARE doing it together, just not literally at the same time. So work what you got. I'm sorry - I know it can be hard but I just read a bunch of excuses. You CAN do it, you WANT to do it, so go and DO IT. Even if it's just ONCE a month. Don't tell yourself "there's no point going once a month, it's not worth it". But it really is. I'm sure you can even manage once a month. It's a start. I think horse riding is alike a relationship; once you have a taste, you'll find a way to get it regardless.

Wishing you the best. x
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post #5 of 5 Old 03-01-2017, 03:32 PM
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 91
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Totally understand where you’re coming from: you want to be near horses but have to “adult” first. And you have to find the right place. I’m fortunate that I have a lot of options in my area, and even more fortunate I was able to buy my horse when I was financially able. But before I had him it was begging for rides on friend’s horses and endless money spent on lessons every chance I could get. I did not grow up with “horsey” parents, so I took lessons at our county park stable that catered to the “weekend rider” because that was all they could find for me when I was a kid.

Might I suggest searching for a local therapeutic riding stable? There are several places in my area that are constantly in need of volunteers to help with their special needs riders who need additional assistance for leading the horse and side walking. That can sometimes be just one person leading the horse, up to 3-4 people walking alongside the horse and rider if it was a rider that required a lot of assistance. I know that the stable I volunteered with they needed at least 3 committed volunteers before they could add a new rider to a class. At the very least- you can get a lot of ground experience being around the horses, and add some extra time helping to tack for lessons. You can learn a lot about de-sensitizing the horses that are used for the programs, or get involved in daily care of the horses too, and that wouldn’t cost a dime! This would be a really fun way to learn together with your GF too!

I will say that my window to the horse world was very, very tiny when I first started riding, and getting to the right places is all about networking and meeting the right people. The farm I board my horse at has no website, no FB page, and nothing in a regular phone book – it is just advertised by word of mouth. It is literally a trail ride away from where I used to take lessons and I had no idea (can’t even see it from the road!) – I just managed to speak to the right people when I was preparing to buy my horse. Now of course with the drastic changes in economy this farm isn’t quite what it used to be – but you get the idea, talk to everyone you can, if you have a local horseman’s council go to some meetings and chat up some locals!
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