Feeling like I may have bought the wrong horse - The Horse Forum
 82Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 02:20 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9
• Horses: 0
Feeling like I may have bought the wrong horse

Hey I'm new to this site so bare with me!

So about four months ago I bought my first horse. Shes a 15 year old Shire/ Quarter cross. I've been riding on and off since about the age of nine (24 now) and took a break and lost touch with horses because money was tight. Now that I can afford it I jumped right in and decided to buy a horse.. I have a solid foundation of knowledge when it comes to horses so I know I can be a responsible owner. I'm just worried that I may have rushed when it came to picking out a compatible horse. I trained in dressage but more or less wanted a pleasure horse.. So when I came across an ex amish horse you can imagine the thought of "Oh! Perfect, a bomb proof trail horse!". The first ride went very well.. They were actually surprised when I got her to canter with no issues as amish horses don't really have uses for cantering. Though, I'm getting quite discouraged as time goes on. I'm having trouble connecting with her. Shes not a bad horse, but it feels as if there is a communication block between us. She tested me for a while but even as I established my leadership and she started to "trust" me more, there are still issues. I know it takes time and work, and I REALLY don't want to give up.. but I can't shake that feeling that it's just not right. I almost find myself making excuses not to ride and don't exactly enjoy what I've been waiting almost 15 years to have. Am I overthinking this? Is this normal? Or should I listen to my gut and seek out a better fit for her and me both? Any communication exercises I can try out?
-Serafina
SerafinaC is offline  
post #2 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 03:21 PM
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: A good place
Posts: 9,129
• Horses: 0
Some horses are pocket pets. They just really like to buddy up with people. Most are not.

Generally, I find that just spending time with a horse builds that "relationship."

If I get a horse in that is standoffish, and it is expected to be more sociable by its' owners, I do everything around the barn, my truck, and in the pasture with that horse near me.

I even make up chores to do so it will have to come along. My barn ceilings/rafters are never cleaner than when I have one of these in. Or the inside of my truck, for that matter!

I hope this one works out for you. If not, I hope you find the just right horse.
Corporal, bsms, BearPony and 3 others like this.
boots is offline  
post #3 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 04:20 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Vidor, Texas
Posts: 2,805
• Horses: 3
Do you have some specific examples of what you're talking about? Maybe a trainer could help you work out these issues.
gigem88 is offline  
post #4 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 04:29 PM
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SW UK
Posts: 15,776
• Horses: 0
I understand where you are coming from.

Am I right in saying that it is not the testing issues that are the problem but just that you have no 'connection' with this horse?

You can spend all the time you have with her but that connection is still not there.
Nothing wrong with that - I have had many a horse that does all that I want but I never felt that it was special.

Do not feel bad about selling her, then look for something you feel you will connect with.
bsms, Kyro, jaydee and 2 others like this.
Foxhunter is offline  
post #5 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 04:31 PM
Trained
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Palmyra, Wisconsin
Posts: 6,161
• Horses: 4
Amish horses are used as machines. She's probably not used to much affection. Don't give up yet, I think she'll come around.
natisha is offline  
post #6 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 04:43 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxhunter View Post
I understand where you are coming from.

Am I right in saying that it is not the testing issues that are the problem but just that you have no 'connection' with this horse?

You can spend all the time you have with her but that connection is still not there.
Nothing wrong with that - I have had many a horse that does all that I want but I never felt that it was special.

Do not feel bad about selling her, then look for something you feel you will connect with.
I'm starting to think this is the issue. I'm gonna give her more time.. Which may make it harder to part with her. I just don't want to give up on her. :/
natisha and boots like this.
SerafinaC is offline  
post #7 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 04:46 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by boots View Post
Some horses are pocket pets. They just really like to buddy up with people. Most are not.

Generally, I find that just spending time with a horse builds that "relationship."

If I get a horse in that is standoffish, and it is expected to be more sociable by its' owners, I do everything around the barn, my truck, and in the pasture with that horse near me.

I even make up chores to do so it will have to come along. My barn ceilings/rafters are never cleaner than when I have one of these in. Or the inside of my truck, for that matter!

I hope this one works out for you. If not, I hope you find the just right horse.
I'm going to try these out! Shes mostly at pasture though and I'm boarding. The setup is somewhat awkward and there are a few circumstances that make it tough to do these. I will try though!
boots likes this.
SerafinaC is offline  
post #8 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 05:10 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand
Posts: 2,038
• Horses: 3
An 'awkward setup' probably doesn't help. See what you can do to smooth that out. It is ok if it turns out this is not the right horse for you. By all means give her a bit of time and attention and see if things improve. Maybe give yourself a timeline. If at the other end of that you still don't feel right with her then sell her and get yourself another horse. There is no fail if you take a little time to get her a good new home, she will be perfect for someone..
Kyro likes this.
ShirtHotTeez is offline  
post #9 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 05:45 PM
Showing
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: OK
Posts: 13,972
• Horses: 9
My mare Honey Boo Boo (Bright As A Star, APHA) is like that. She was raised in a show barn as a halter horse and basically her owners put her with a trainer and then never messed with her again. Trainers usually don't have the time to make pets out of the horses in their care, so the horse doesn't really learn to "connect". People comment that Boo is kind of stand offish and are shocked when I say, "OH NO! She's downright sociable compared to when I got her.". I can do anything I want with her, and when she's got a foal at side she allows me to handle the foal all I want and never even looks at me sideways. She's the PERFECT broodie, except she's not a pocket pony. She's not mean, she's just.....lukewarm. Her foals however, are absolutely people pleasers. They are wonderful to handle and they're really good looking too. At this point, there's not enough money in the US to buy this mare. Give her some time to get used to being fussed with. Feed her carrots and apple bits every time you go see her, brush her and groom her and learn all her favorite scritchy spots and make sure you hit most of them every time you go out. Just quit a little bit before she's ready to have you stop and walk away. Leave her wanting more. She'll warm up. She may not ever be your "lap dog" horse, but shire's are a bit big for that anyhow aren't they? LOL!
boots, Kyro, JCnGrace and 1 others like this.

Dreamcatcher Arabians is offline  
post #10 of 42 Old 12-13-2015, 08:15 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 9
• Horses: 0
Thanks for the encouragement! I'm going to give her a couple months. I still have yet to find her scratchy spots and even a treat she'll accept... She was probably living in an Amish setting for a majority of her life.. Previous owner didn't know much about her past. I'm hoping to catch even a glimpse of a 'spark' between us.. I just don't want to send her into the wrong hands if I end up feeling we aren't compatible.
SerafinaC is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
We Bought the Wrong Horse! Tihannah Horse Breeds 12 09-12-2015 11:29 AM
What am I doing wrong? Horse keeps picking up wrong lead in canter ecasey Horse Riding & Horse Activity 25 08-29-2014 09:55 AM
I think I bought the wrong horse. TimWhit91 Horse Talk 39 05-28-2013 02:04 AM
My First Horse i bought OliviaMyee Horse Talk 8 05-13-2013 11:13 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome