Hmmm... I also went a long time without horses so I kind of know just how much you anticipated the excitement of having a horse again. Is it possible your expectations were too high? Sometimes we romanticize our relationships with animals and people from our past, but then the day-to-day routine sets in and it's a little disappointing.
Did you connect to other horses before buying this one? Like lesson horses, for example? It does sound like she is standoffish, but even my horse Harley, who is a sucker for a treat and is more sociable with people than he is other horses, isn't like coming home to my dogs at the end of the day. He'd rather eat grass than hang with me. And I just take that as normal horse behavior. He does like being around us because that's his comfort zone (he is submissive so other horses make him insecure sometimes), but in a big field, he'll tolerate us but will not walk over to me unless I have a treat. And that's ok. I still give him lots of scratches and hugs, which he seems to enjoy (but not as much as treats, LOL).
So be honest with yourself and your expectations. If you connected to another horse recently and are missing that connection with this horse, then maybe you'd be better off with a horse that's been handled more. Or you can wait to see if the "connection" you're expecting will come eventually. Like with a rescue dog - it takes time, but once they trust you, it is a deep and everlasting trust. But she may not ever be "that" kind of horse so be realistic in your expectations of her.
And yes, putting apples or carrots in her manger or even on the ground in the pasture so she doesn't have to take them from your hand is a good start. Once she realizes how good those treats are, she will be willing to take them from you.