First time discouraged horse owner - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 20 Old 07-13-2016, 06:40 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 24
• Horses: 1
Unhappy First time discouraged horse owner

Here's my story!
When I was 13 my family moved to an island in the Caribbean where we met an Irish cowboy with about 11 horses and a horseback riding tour business. I jumped at the opportunity to help him and learned most of what I know now about horses during the 2 years we lived on island. We moved back to California when I was 15 where my time with horses abruptly stopped. Since then I've only been around horses a small handful of times, I am 22 now. I tried taking lessons but it just didn't seem to fit for me, I also learned horse care is a lot different in the states vs the island. In May I met a woman who runs a boarding facility and began helping her on weekends and some week days in turn she taught me how to work with her green broke gelding Coyote, whom I now lease as of last weekend! Coyote and I have that storybook connection people speak of, it was love at first sight and we are two peas in a pod with the most similar silly personalities. He is approx. 9 years old and is an Arab cross. (I am still learning about other breeds as in the Caribbean we had all quarter horses) I am confident around horses, and Coyote wants for nothing as I spoil him in the best ways. The lady I work for letís call her Laura for privacy purposes. She has a life time of experience with horses and is a wonderful trainer/teacher, and is the one who decided I was ready to lease Coyote which will most likely turn into me owning him as she wants to give him to me. I guess Iím just nervous. I look around and see so many people with tons of experience with horses and I get discouraged and start to think Iím not as good as them. The boarding facility Laura owns is full of retired horses and their owners that are also extremely knowledgeable horsemen and women whom are all more than happy to help me with anything I might need so I have a ton of support. I guess my question would be if you have any suggestions on feeling more like I belong.. Am I the only one that feels this way?

A picture of Coyote and I attached.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg received_1224578237567040.jpg (84.6 KB, 15 views)
natisha likes this.
edgecomb48 is offline  
post #2 of 20 Old 07-13-2016, 09:11 PM
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: TX
Posts: 16
• Horses: 0
So let me get this strait...

You love horses... and you are now able to pursue that
You have a 'storybook' love for a horse... and the owner is 'giving' him to you
You are a beginner... and surrounded by nice people with a lot of experience who you can learn from

Have to be honest, I don't have a clue what you are discouraged about. You should be THRILLED
Hellcat is offline  
post #3 of 20 Old 07-13-2016, 09:38 PM
Join Date: May 2016
Location: United States
Posts: 497
• Horses: 3
Beautiful horse! I can understand why you are nervous, but it sounds like you are in a perfect position for ownership. Being surrounded by experienced and knowledgeable people who will help you is a very good start. It kind of sounds like to me as if you are a perfectionist, and you want the very best for your future horse. I think that is good that you do not jump into things without a lot of thought. It takes a very long time to become an expert in any thing, but you have to start somewhere. :) You will learn, and as you work with horses more, you will increase your knowledge and gain a vast amount of experience. Do not compare yourself to others, but be the best that you can be! Take the other horse owner's advice, listen to your trainer, and try to use that information. As time goes on, you will be a very good rider.
natisha, boots, KigerQueen and 3 others like this.

If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort, you will not get either comfort or truth; only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair. -C.S. Lewis
Greenmeadows is offline  
post #4 of 20 Old 07-13-2016, 09:49 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Palmyra, Wisconsin
Posts: 6,161
• Horses: 4
You should be discouraged because you no longer live in the Caribbean but the rest sounds perfect. I wouldn't consider you a beginner.
natisha is offline  
post #5 of 20 Old 07-13-2016, 11:34 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 48,075
• Horses: 2
you just are young. that's all. around folks that have twice the learning time as you do. so what. you'll learn what they know, on top of the considerable amount you already know. I cannot possibly feel sorry for you.
enjoy the horse. you two look GREAT together!
tinyliny is offline  
post #6 of 20 Old 07-14-2016, 11:27 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 24
• Horses: 1
@Hellcat , I just tend to be very hard on myself I suppose. I am very thrilled!

@Greenmeadows , thank you for your thoughts! My horse is happy and healthy so that's all that matters right now and I will try and focus on that and stay positive!

@natisha , I miss the Caribbean so much haha.

@tinyliny , Thank you! I enjoy him so much.
edgecomb48 is offline  
post #7 of 20 Old 07-14-2016, 11:38 AM
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 1,067
• Horses: 0
Of course you are not as good as those around you. They have years of experience. You will be as good somewhere down the road, you have a perfect opportunity that is not available too often to most others. It takes work and time. Lots of work and time. It will come. Have fun learning, it is not a competition, it is a joy.

I don't understand why you would find it discouraging that given the little experience and exposure you have had that you are not on the same level as the people you are comparing yourself to. Be happy, it's alright.
Whinnie is offline  
post #8 of 20 Old 07-14-2016, 11:44 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Just south of sanity
Posts: 16,508
• Horses: 3
None of us were born with horse knowledge, even those born into the lifestyle, and everyone has to start out as a newbie. You appear to have a good start, although you'll spend a lifetime and not learn everything there is to know about horses.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
Speed Racer is offline  
post #9 of 20 Old 07-14-2016, 11:48 AM
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Idaho
Posts: 1,178
• Horses: 4
We ALL started with no experience.

Just soak in as much as you can from those around you.
ChitChatChet is offline  
post #10 of 20 Old 07-14-2016, 12:01 PM
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: England - UK
Posts: 439
• Horses: 0
Being around people of superior skill can be and is a fantastic thing when those people are eager to impart their understanding to you. You can learn a huge amount; much without realising it and can proceed faster than you ever would alone. However it can also be intimidating and sometimes even embarrassing at times when you always get that feeling of just not knowing anything or much compared to those around you.

It is perfectly normal to feel that way from time to time. Sometimes its just being overwhelmed by it all. IT tends to be worse if you're in a competitive environment because it will often mean those with experience are going to score/win more than you and you might not even get much chance to get your head up.

It's why it can be good to find those of a similar skill base from time to time; or to do casual events/gatherings where there is less focus on you and learning and just upon the doing. You might not need them all the time; but it can be good to touch base with such groups and to relax into your hobby. Sometimes it can even be a good confidence booster when you find someone in those groups who knows less than you and you can impart some of your understanding to them.
Overread is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
First time horse owner. Cowboy0001 New to Horses 8 06-07-2016 09:40 AM
First time horse owner Flash12 New to Horses 21 12-26-2013 04:25 PM
First time horse owner kailyn13 Horse Talk 6 07-11-2011 01:24 PM
First time horse owner Hot_to_trot78 Horse Breeds 19 07-12-2008 10:39 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome