I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties. I'm a newbie as well (also started two years ago), but fortunately my experience has been more positive than yours, mostly because I found a coach who really advanced my riding at a brisk pace, and I don't care about making or having friends at the barn. I'm happy if there is someone with whom I can ride, but I'm not sad if there isn't - as long as my horse is happy to see me.
Is there a possibility for you to hire a different trainer? This may have to be reflected in the lease agreement, but if she really doesn't want to coach you while still getting money from you for the lease, that may be a good option. That way you get to work with your horses a while longer, even though it's really good, especially in the beginning, to work with as many different horses as you can.
The horse world does not always attract the gentlest characters due to the horse's nature of seeking to avoid conflict and find a place of peaceful coexistence. This attracts bullies who build their self image by tearing others' down. Go to YouTube, check out some of the comment sections to horse videos made by the young girls and women there. Or enjoy some of the "content" they produce about each other. It'll make Jerry Springer look like David Attenborough. To be fair, I also have two notable YouTube-channel exception to this in mind.
So here's what I'd do:
- Get a coach who is interested in working with you.
- Ignore the hostile b**ches, but don't discount the possibility of finding someone compatible with you in the horse world.
- Get a general education from books and videos. This forum can help you getting started with titles and sources, based on what you already know and what you want to know.
- Ask specific questions in this forum. None of the threads I read here ever went beyond the level of "edgy" or "terse", especially not if someone asks for help. You may have to sift through and evaluate a variety of opinions, but that's a good thing.
- Remind yourself why you got into this: To help horses and to experience horses, not to enrich your social life or become member of a club. If the horses aren't enough for you to stick with it, it probably wasn't meant to be.