Having a difficult time in the horse community - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 24 Old 11-13-2017, 09:23 AM
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: South Berwick, Maine
Posts: 267
• Horses: 0
So I am a new to the horse community as well. We board, but we own our 2 horses so my situation is a little different. We are extremely fortunate to have a very supportive and patient BO who will help with any issues we are having. We are also very fortunate to have a wonderful farrier, and vet. I can tell you without the supportive team we have, horse ownership would be an absolute nightmare for us.

With that being said, I understand why you are hesitant to leave the barn where you are. You are emotionally attached and invested in the horses you lease. But you have to ask yourself what are you giving the horses, aside from love and treats if you don't know how to ride, and the BM is not willing to teach you? Horses love to have a purpose, whether it is pleasure riding or ground driving, or pulling. A healthy horse isn't just healthy physically; they need to be emotionally and mentally healthy as well. If you are the only person riding these horses, and you are not riding, they are not getting everything that they need. At least, that is how I look at it.

I would say try to find another barn to lease from. I find that small, backyard type barns were a little more accepting of me being a novice, and rescuing a needy, hardheaded draft horse. The barns with fancy indoor riding rings basically told me if I wasn't planning on riding him (a 19-year-old, severely arthritic horse, who only speaks Dutch) he would basically be in a stall all day. For me, that was a huge red flag.

We lucked out and found a wonderful small, family-owned barn. The owner lives on site, there is somebody there almost 24/7. Each horse (unless you have 2 or 3) has its own barn stall and pasture so they can come and go as they please, and there are no "open hours" so we can come and go as we please. The BO and the other horse owners (all 4 of them) have been very supportive and helpful when we got Duke. Loretta was a piece of cake to bring home so there wasn't much help needed.

If you need any help, or just want to complain, message me. I will always try to help a newbie out whenever I can!
twixy79 is offline  
post #22 of 24 Old 11-13-2017, 07:25 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 4,463
• Horses: 2
You're not gonna get much out of that situation by the sounds of it (although learning what not to do can often be beneficial lol).
And I understand you feel attached to or worried about these horses, but your being there is not going to help them in the long run. They still belong to the BO and it is her decision what happens to them. What if she decides to sell them? What if she decides she would rather you rode a different horse? And if you attempt to train them a different way, she may not like it. Training horses is not that simple. If you teach them something using one method, the BO will not know how to approach or handle them that way and the horse will get confused and issues will arise, and guess who gets the blame? I know that I would get pretty miffed if someone tried "fixing" or training my horse their own way without my permission, regardless of what they thought of my methods.
Also, having verbal agreements are no good, especially in a situation like this. You are not a paying customer, so your lessons are not important to her, no matter how much you do around the place. Unless you are putting the cash into her hands after each lesson, you will get put last. And by the sounds of it, do you really want to learn her way of doing things?
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"If a horse fails to do something that is because he was not trained to do it. If a horse fails to do something properly that is because he was not trained properly."
lilruffian is offline  
post #23 of 24 Old 11-14-2017, 07:16 AM
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,287
• Horses: 2
Unfortunately I've found that this kind of situation is extremely common in boarding, leasing and training barns. And the more horses and people that are milling around the worse it gets. Seems like those who are the most ignorant are the mouthy, confrontational ones who have a pushy attitude towards everything and as a newbie, you are easy to pick on. Also, horse people are some of the most opinionated in the world and many get stuck in one thought pattern regarding the handling/treatment of horses-you are not going to be able to change that.

This is not a professional situation. You don't have a written lease agreement and you are working for the opportunity to work with 2 horses that belong to someone who will not be helpful in your learning experience. There are people and barns out there that have good, helpful people (at least a few). You need to start researching some options (other barns/trainers) and disengage from this situation. One thing any horse person needs to learn very early is to not become emotionally invested in a horse that belongs to someone else. You have no control over what happens to that horse and will get your heart broken, over and over again!

Set aside some time and keep looking for a different situation. Get out of there ASAP. This one is very damaging and the only thing you will learn is the negative side of the horse world.
Chasin Ponies is offline  
post #24 of 24 Old 11-14-2017, 09:54 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Northern Florida
Posts: 4,845
• Horses: 4
Tell me if I have this straight. You lease a horse there? or more than one? You trade barn work for lessons that she no longer has time for? That's easy. You no longer have time for barn work. Just enjoy the horses.

There will be only one of you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.
Coffee is my spirit animal
LoriF is offline  

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