How to get my horse to enjoy my company? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 28 Old 12-19-2014, 09:53 PM
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Michigan
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Originally Posted by jmike View Post
respect and leadership = groundwork
bonding and relationship = grooming
I agree with this so much. People always ask me, why do horses get so attached to you easy? Because I would take the time to groom them. I literally would spend HOURS grooming them, having small breaks in between (if they were getting restless) and simply talking to them, as if they were a person who could understand. I love grooming anyways but I would smile, and give off a happy vibe. I have handled a few horses that people have said "be careful they are picky about who handles them" but after an hour of grooming and finalizing with a positive praise of "there you go! Now you look great!" and giving them a hug, there was a small connection built. So keep that in mind.

All that would be left, is respect and who is the boss. Which I do struggle in unless its lunging them. I am more gentle and I am not used to raising my voice or being firm. I am used to the bond doing all the work for me, but with horses its different, and I am still learning a lot on how to be the leader. =] good luck on your horse, I am sure you will do fine. Post pics when you can!
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post #12 of 28 Old 12-19-2014, 09:58 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Iowa
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Originally Posted by Maple View Post
There are no tricks. Spend time with him, groom him, and with the time you put into him you will build a relationship with him.
I think it is important to be confident, fair, and a consistent leader for a horse to like and respect you.
Lots of people spend time and spoil the horses and create a monster
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post #13 of 28 Old 12-19-2014, 10:41 PM
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 163
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I am a treat person. It might be good to treat him when you work him when he does the right thing. They can learn to nip at you if you permit them to do so. Horses bond much better with people if they do not have other horses near them.
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post #14 of 28 Old 12-20-2014, 02:09 AM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 387
• Horses: 3
Spending time with them, staying focused and calm around them help them relax and enjoy being with you.

My plans for my horse is mostly trail rides and sometimes competing in local competitions. I take him for walks out in the woods and on trails. Sometimes I carry a training stick and brush with me. During our walks I'll stop and brush him for 5 or 10 minutes while he nibble on some grass. Sometimes I'll stop and do a few minutes of groundwork while we're taking our walk. Most of the time I simply just go for a walk and talk to them and work him any spooks that he may have.

The more relaxed he is with you on the ground, the calmer he will be while you're on his back.
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post #15 of 28 Old 12-20-2014, 09:43 AM
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Central MS
Posts: 1,380
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Originally Posted by HorseEssence View Post
All that would be left, is respect and who is the boss. Which I do struggle in unless its lunging them. I am more gentle and I am not used to raising my voice or being firm. I am used to the bond doing all the work for me, but with horses its different, and I am still learning a lot on how to be the leader. =] good luck on your horse, I am sure you will do fine. Post pics when you can!

i struggle with the other part
i am mostly business when i interact with them
i work 50-60 horus a week and drive 2 hours a day on top of that
so .. for me, time is the limiting factor
plus there are so many other things that need to get done
lived here for 18 months, and there are so many things i need to do
plant/prune fruit trees
clear brush for more pasture
cut firewood for winter
spend time with the wife and kids
prep my spring/summer garden
general yardwork .. ect.. ect..
would love to have just a few hours that is not earmarked for something else
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post #16 of 28 Old 12-22-2014, 12:38 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 55
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I think it's fair to note that some horses tend not to be very outwardly affectionate. My mare is this way. She respects me but she is not "lovey" and she likely never will be. However she does seem to be relaxed around me because I am consistent when I work with her and she knows what to expect.

Best of luck with your new horse!
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post #17 of 28 Old 12-23-2014, 04:49 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: In a barn.
Posts: 410
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My horse tolerated me when I first got him. I didn't know what the heck I was doing. As I got more experienced, and made a few stoopid mistakes, our relationship grew and he started to actually trust me instead of just "going with it". Now, he tries his hardest for me and puts his life in my hands (to an extent--you can never truly override the survival instinct).

It takes time, patience, and remembering that horses DO have emotional intelligence, and they DO try to communicate with us. Have fun with your horse! :)
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post #18 of 28 Old 12-23-2014, 09:28 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 4,047
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I think that this is a sticking point with a lot of people new to horses.

First and foremost, horses are NOT dogs and do not bond with humans like that. There is no Flicka, Fury, Mr. Ed or The Black Stallion. Wipe Disney right out of your mind.

What you have is a horse that would rather be with other horses than with you. That is just the facts. What you have is LIVESTOCK. If you want a pet then get a dog. Horses are not pets.

Now.. that said, a horse can get used to you and can enjoy your company but first and foremost you must be (as others have said) a firm but benevolent leader. This means your space is YOURS and the horse NEVER comes into your space without an invitation. You can enter his space at any time and he best move off without threat or stand his ground calmly. Horses are not verbal creatures. Unless you are talking in low tones to calm or in rapid clicks to speed up, shut up. Talk to your horse with body language (this is something they understand) and not with your mouth (this is something they do not understand).

The object with your leadership role is to be reliable and fair and very clear. Clarity is something a horse understands. Black or white clarity delivered consistently will go further to build trust than any other thing you do with your horse (both on the ground and in the saddle).

All training is pressure, its application and its release in exactly the correct quantity and at exactly the correct time. If applied in a consistent manner it will create trust... and trust will create a working partnership.
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post #19 of 28 Old 12-23-2014, 11:24 AM
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Idaho
Posts: 1,178
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Originally Posted by churumbeque View Post
I think it is important to be confident, fair, and a consistent leader for a horse to like and respect you.
Lots of people spend time and spoil the horses and create a monster
I has given a horse that a lots of kids loved on and groomed. The problem was they allowed him to get away with everything. He had a lot to learn when he came here as I have 3 kids who ride him. He had to learn that these kids are to be respected. Fortunately, he is smart.

It was my then 10 yo dd who taught him the his feet will be picked up when we want and held for as long as we need and then set back down again. He was a nightmare with his feet when we first got him.
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post #20 of 28 Old 12-23-2014, 12:37 PM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,170
• Horses: 2
When my horses see me they automatically think that they are going to be gotten out to work.
One thing I did that surprised them was I went into their pasture with absolutely nothing. I didn't look at them and I didn't walk towards them. I simply sad down, leaned up against a tree and closed my eyes.
And sure enough, curiosity got the better of them and they came to check it out.
One thing - only pet or touch them after they have touched you, don't reach up and pet them before they have touched you, it kind ruins the thing. It doesn't allow the horse to explore more and wonder why you aren't doing anything, like trying to catch them or feed them. :)
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