Husband Isn't A Horse Person, Advice? - Page 12 - The Horse Forum
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post #111 of 124 Old 08-26-2014, 09:09 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: michigan
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My husband is NOT into horses. Claims to have been bitten by one as a child.. but that could be a story. He has seen my boy 3 or 4 times in the 4 years I have owned him. We have an understanding- he is allowed to do HIS thing ( in this case windsurfing and car racing) and I am allowed to spend time with my big guy. It works both ways.. we also keep finances separate which helps greatly!!
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post #112 of 124 Old 08-27-2014, 09:41 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: central valley California
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been married 36 years, my husband has never been interested in horses, earlier in our marriage it was a big thing, but he has come to realize, I come home from the ranch alot happier then I left
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post #113 of 124 Old 08-27-2014, 10:58 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: KC, Missouri
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My fiance likes horses, but isn't into them like I am. He'll listen to me politely while I ramble on and on, buys me the horsey books and magazines I like, and will indulge me when I want to go riding with his best friend. (His best friend is a horse trainer.)

But he expects me to be just as supportive of his hobbies as he is of mine. Although I haven't had horses since we've been together, he knew from the beginning how horse crazy I am! I've never been exactly quiet about it... Does he understand it? Not really. Will he be a good partner and saddle up alongside me if I ask nicely?? Absolutely!

My fiance could care less to read any of my books, or hear about the new horse I found to look at. He doesn't like that we'll have to spend extra money to own said horses, but he knows I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen for myself. He wants me to be able to enjoy my passion, and he loves that I want to pass it on to our two kiddos.

Your husband doesn't need to share this hobby with you. If you have other interests that you can share, let this one go!
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post #114 of 124 Old 08-28-2014, 11:08 AM
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Indiana
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My husband likes horses, but hates how much they cost.

I had one horse prior to meeting my husband. When we started dating he decided he was going to buy one. I tried talking him out of it, but it didn't work. He had NO experience and really no understanding of how much they cost. We had fun for awhile and I thought I had a cowboy in the making! Then we got married. About 2 months into marriage he decided they were too expensive. My horse was 24 at the time and her arthritis was getting worse, and I was seriously considering retiring her...NOT GET RID OF HER. (Be VERY clear with your words when talking to a non- horsey husband.) He decided they were costing us too much money so next thing I know both horses are up for sale. Well, this didn't work with me. MY horse, the horse that was a part of my life before him, was not going anywhere. She was going to be RETIRED and enjoy the remainder of her life with me. He totally didn't understand that. In his mind, "you can't ride her, so what good is she? You just waste all this money on feed and supplements and vet bills." I was persistent though, and I won. Now she's 26 and enjoying herself, with me! He did end up selling his horse though...but somehow I convinced him to let me buy myself another one. I think he noticed how unhappy I was not being able to ride.

So now I have 2 horses. One to ride, and one to look at. I am starting to get into showing...which is interesting with my husband to say the least. The money is a big argument from time to time, and because of it we keep out finances separate. I pay for them. He pays for what he wants. We split the bills. As long as everything is paid for at the end of the month, all is well. It just gets to be a problem when he wants something out of the budget. Then it's the horses fault!
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post #115 of 124 Old 08-28-2014, 11:22 AM
Foal
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
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My husband is not necessarily a horse person either. He has never ridden and probably never will. He isn't afraid of them and will pet them but that is about it. I am sure if I do own one in the future it will have to be boarded anyway so at least he will not be forced to help with anything, and I am not just talking about mucking stalls, but we all know sometimes there is barn maintenance, fence maintenance, and ground maintenance that goes along with owning a horse. After all, that manure has to go somewhere!! So he is all in favor of me having my hobby. I also am a professional photographer and he doesn't like traipsing after me when I am shooting an event. But then he has his motorcycle which I am not all that crazy about so he gets to ride all over the country with his friends and I am fine with that. I know women who force their husband/boyfriend to do everything together. That usually leaves both unhappy. And is not good for relationship building.
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post #116 of 124 Old 08-28-2014, 12:42 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
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Well, I started this thread probably two weeks ago and since reading all of these replies ( and showing some of them to DH), he has accepted the fact that we are not the only couple unequally yoked, so to speak :))
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The essential joy of being with horses is that it brings us in contact with the rare elements of grace, beauty, spirit, and fire. ~Sharon Ralls Lemon
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post #117 of 124 Old 08-28-2014, 04:04 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Idaho
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My dh knows I enjoy horses so hes glad I do something I enjoy. He doesn't do anything to help me except to supply $ for an unplanned oops ( such as a vet). The hay and all of that I work for.

So many dh's have their own hobbies ( and pricey ones at that) bikes, boats, guns etc.
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post #118 of 124 Old 08-28-2014, 04:10 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Central Oregon, USA
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Sometimes husbands surprise you.

Last week I was tacking Chief up and DH came out, asked if I would ride Cruiser instead so he could walk around on Chief! Just 3 or 4 months ago he told me to sell his saddle and he didn't want to ride again!

Who knows what goes on in mens' brains!?
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post #119 of 124 Old 08-28-2014, 04:45 PM
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Location: central valley California
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cebee View Post
My husband is NOT into horses. Claims to have been bitten by one as a child.. but that could be a story. He has seen my boy 3 or 4 times in the 4 years I have owned him. We have an understanding- he is allowed to do HIS thing ( in this case windsurfing and car racing) and I am allowed to spend time with my big guy. It works both ways.. we also keep finances separate which helps greatly!!

this is what we do as well, I have a separate horsey account, works well, it also helps my husband not have to look at the expense of having my boy, but my husband loves his thing and that makes him happy, so it makes me happy too, as well as I have my thing, with my horse, makes me happy, that makes one happy couple, with the understanding that we each have our own personal needs as well as taking care of one another
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post #120 of 124 Old 08-28-2014, 08:14 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: michigan
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To be honest. most women I know PREFER to keep our horses " girl time"... it is when we can talk to our ( horsey ) female friends, have some 'female bonding time'.. some women go to book clubs, or scrapbooking groups, or what not... I personally like my 'girl time' with the horses... maybe if I kept my boy at home it would be different. but I like to 'escape' to the barn...
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