Husband Isn't A Horse Person, Advice? - Page 4 - The Horse Forum
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post #31 of 124 Old 08-05-2014, 11:17 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
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My fiances coworker taught him the phrase "Happy wife, happy life!" Sooo he deals with the horse, knows theres more in the future when we move...and I agreed to help him raise bison :) I don't complain about all the money he wastes on he doesn't complain about all the stuff I just HAVE TO HAVE for Dexter :) He sometimes says he wants to ride...or would like to learn....but we haven't gotten there yet. I don't push it on him, if he wants to come see Dexter, he lets me know, otherwise he stays home doing his thing while I go to the barn.
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post #32 of 124 Old 08-05-2014, 11:30 PM
Join Date: May 2014
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Mu husband isn't a horse person but I married him anyway. He has his hobbies and I have mine. We have shared hobbies but it's nice to have your own thing too. I don't think him not being a horse person will make us miserable down the road.
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post #33 of 124 Old 08-05-2014, 11:59 PM
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Virgin, UT (Near Zion)
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Originally Posted by verona1016 View Post
My husband is not at all horsey, but he does understand what it means to me and supports me. I talk to him about horsey stuff, and he listens even though I'm sure he doesn't quite follow all of it (and I do the same when he's talking about all the politics and stuff going on with his team at work!) I put a fair amount of effort in trying to balance time between DH and the horse, which means I don't get to ride as often as I'd like (because I'd really like to ride every day...) but obviously, spending time with him is more important! Luckily, finances aren't an issue at the moment, since we both have reasonably well paying jobs and no kids, but I know that can be a major relationship strain if one person feels the other is spending lots of money on something they don't see the value in.

I wouldn't try to get him into horses if he's not interested. Let it be your thing and find something else that the two of you can enjoy together. Also, encourage him to follow his interests so he doesn't feel that he's sitting around bored when you start going off to shows for days at a time
Well done!

I'm a 50 year old guy who had a pretty severe wreck on a horse when I was a teenager. I disliked them, in fact I said I would never ride something with its own brain. My wife likes horses but our business commitments prohibited her from riding more than a couple of times per year. We retired in 2010 and she traded her time for use of a horse and eventually acquired a "free" horse in 2011. She rode and did 100% of the work, I had no part of it. I took an interest in her enjoying her self and her safety because I love my wife and she's my best friend and if she's happy that's great.

We both ride mountain bikes, we started together in 2008 and really got into in in 2010. We ride together and separately and its our shared hobby. About a year and a half ago I started warming up to horses. My introduction to Paso Finos really got me hooked. Now we split time between horses and bikes. My wife never nagged me but she made it available for me and when I did take a bit of an interest she was thrilled. We now have four horses, an 50 foot covered round pen and a 110x220 arena and I'm hooked!
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post #34 of 124 Old 08-06-2014, 12:22 AM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Seabeck, WA
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My husband is okay with my horse habit. He even takes me on guest ranch vacations! He isn't super into horses and won't ride most of the time I try to get him to. I think he mostly just doesn't want to look like he doesn't know what he is doing.

We used to fight about it, but its the one thing I am pretty unwilling to compromise about. He is happy that keeping me on my horse keeps me happy. He is also happy that I have goals in life, and an active hobby.

He is in the Navy so he is gone a lot. It took a lot of convincing, but he is on board now :)

<3 Good luck and I hope yours will come around!
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post #35 of 124 Old 08-06-2014, 12:28 AM
Join Date: Dec 2011
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My only is my girlfriend not horsey, she isn't outdoorsy. Period. Doesn't like the bugs. Poop. Mud. NOTHING. She really feels intimidated by horses too. You wouldn't catch her dead near a barn until we started dating.

Now, she plays rolled derby. IMO it's a bit boring, the games are the only semi exciting part so long as they are playing a good team. Drill after drill and lap after lap I sit and watch even though it's not my cup of tea.

Even though we both have WAY different hobbies we have both made it a point to support each other 100%. If she had practice and I'm free I go to tell her great job. If she is free on a day I go to the barn she'll come out and help me brush the horse (which she is actually growing to like!). If she wants to free skate I'll roller blade with her. If i beg she'll take a pony ride.

In the end it's all about support and encouraging your significant other to pursue things that make them happy! (within reason of course)
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post #36 of 124 Old 08-06-2014, 12:33 AM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Canada eh?
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Glad I got horse-crazy young so in many years from now when I get married my husband will know what he is getting into. (ok realistically I could get married in 5 years, or 4, or 3. But that makes me feel old and freaks me out a bit =P)

Anyway, I don't have very much advice but I wish you luck and patience =)
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post #37 of 124 Old 08-06-2014, 12:58 AM
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Northern New York
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When my husband and I started dating at 17, he had never even been around horses.. After he got over the fear of them, he started grooming and being around them.. I had him take a big ball out and play with the horses. He finally did. And then I begged and begged for him to trrrry a horse out! He was sooo hesitant at first eclipse he still wasn't too comfortable, but he tried it.. And he LOVED it! He loves his Western though, where I prefer English, but also enjoy Western..

Just try and try to get you husband to feed them treats, help hold them and lead them, groom them and just pet them.. Maybe some day his fear will disappear.
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post #38 of 124 Old 08-06-2014, 08:40 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: left of center
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Originally Posted by autumn rain View Post
Nothing wrong with having some separate interests, as long as you respect each other's time and share common interests and goals, as well. My husband isn't horsey, but he is happy for any successes I have with my horses. I applaud his beautiful woodworking projects, even though I can't drive a nail, and don' care to. It's been working for us for 38 years, and I didn't become "horsey" until we were 25 years in! (It took that long to raise a family and have the funds for some new interests of our own) Interests can and do change over the years, so you really can't plan it all up front.
Almost my story…exempt I have always been horsey-DH knew this always. My DH is SO allergic, I have to strip before entering the house…..but still, he is supportive, and it has worked for us for 36 yrs.

Now, as he is preparing to retire it is more important that ever that we have our own thing to do! Otherwise we would make each other crazy!
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post #39 of 124 Old 08-06-2014, 09:01 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 585
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Thanks so much, everyone! I love these stories, it is very encouraging. We are still a young married couple (27 and 32), so of course our interests will change over the years. I am curious to see his reaction at my first show, he has never even seen me ride before.
It's so great to hear from so many people who have been on various sides of this situation!
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post #40 of 124 Old 08-06-2014, 10:14 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Ohio
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Originally Posted by franknbeans View Post
... I have to strip before entering the house…..but still, he is supportive, ...

No wonder. :)

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