I don't like my trainer but I the barn is the only decent option for my mare
I'm a novice, started riding 3 years ago at 37 and I bought my mare two months ago.
Before I carry on I would like to stress that I live in a non-horsey country and my options are severely limited in all aspects.
The mare is very forward and, it turned out, herd bound and barn sour. I tried her twice, both times out on the trails and once I hacked completely alone and she was perfect. I guess she knew the trails so she was relaxed.
The barn I keep her at is the ONLY barn within 50km with turn out. Horses here (except at my barn) are usually kept in stalls or tied down unless being ridden. I don't want that life for my mare.
The problem is that the style of riding this barn insists on is some sort of hippy-free-love idea where horses should want to do whatever it is you ask them to and if they are not doing it you should just carry on and try to ask them gently with your seat and legs. Hands are not to be used almost at all, we are not supposed to feel any pressure in reins. Also, the horses should always be treated gently, regardless of what they are doing. At this point I should mention that the BO is too scared of her horse to ride him...I wander why.
All well and good, but I'm a novice, I have no idea how to get my mare to bring her shoulder in and stop drifting wherever she wants just with my seat and legs. I'm not allowed to tighten the outside rein to stop the drift. Other than pulling my leg up and kicking her shoulder in, I have zero ideas. If I ride the way I was thought, with all aids, the mare tries it on but gives up her nonsense quickly. If I ride their way we drift all over the place.
So, my mare seems to have started taking the game to the next level. Today she drifted upto another horse and tried kicking him. She's never done this before and I tried stopping her with just my seat which she thoroughly disregarded. Well, I kicked up a fuss, growled at her, gave some very strong aids, including my hands and 10 seconds later she was on her best behavior. I carried on riding "normally" for the remainder of the lesson and she rode beautifully.
Both my trainer and the BO took offense and gave me a stern talking to. I bit my tongue because I don't want to move my mare. But, what do I do now? I don't want my mare to become dangerous before I can learn this style of riding (if I ever learn it).