One way to deal with a bad boarding situation (for the short term) is to figure out everyone's schedule and avoid going there when the worst of the worst show up. People are creatures of habit and have work schedules so it's not that hard to do. Drop the lessons and trainer at this barn-it's good that you recognize that this kind of "training" does no one any good, not the human and definitely not the horse! Take lessons if you can at the other barn, even if it's on a school horse then bring back what you've learned to use on your own. Explain to your instructor what you are having trouble with and ask for "homework".
You may have to remind these people that the horse belongs to you, and you are the only one who makes the decisions .
You know I seriously, desperately searched for two solid years to find a new place to move my horses. In the end, I found my new, wonderful barn by word of mouth from my horsy network. I kept asking everyone I knew if they knew of any boarding barns. Eventually an acquaintance mentioned a place in passing, (a place that is not advertised publicly). I got the details, visited the place and moved my horses out two days later. Some of the best are not even advertised as they want to keep everything low key and hate barn drama.
This fluffy, dreamy attitude at this stable is going to drive you crazy especially if they are interfering in the handling of your own horse. Frankly, barring neglect or abuse, it's none of their business! Start looking for another place.