Not a novel at all! Its exactly how I feel at the moment.
I bought my daughter a little shetland cross a few months back, and I am responsible for all of his care, and I love it. Grooming, mucking out, training him, even his naughty antics.
Sometimes I am stood grooming him and think, god I wish you were bigger so I could jump on you and have a ride.
Thats what has spurred me on to do this. After so many positive comments, I am now very very excited and counting the sleeps (sad I know!). I dont have any ideals of it being perfect, but I know I am doing the right thing now. I will let you all know how it goes on friday, but I have a feeling I am going to love it again.
My partner who has never ridden is coming, and he has the same butterflies, so fingers crossed for both of us x
I had a fairly nasty experience just a few years ago (2011 I believe?)..I went to try out a horse to free lease off the farm. The horse was what I was looking for and the owner was very nice. The experience..eh not so much. Got on, horse bolted and threw me off against the side of the arena in a matter of only a few minutes-my back slammed really hard against the wall and that was the end of that.
It knocked my confidence so bad, I didn't get back on a horse for another year and every time I would go for a lesson I had horrible nerves, but then I would get on and have a great lesson. My coach would tell me all the time how beautiful of a rider I was! But after only a few lessons I stopped. My confidence was still kind of shot and I couldn't shake the nerves (which was weird because I enjoyed every minute of the actual riding-I didn't have time to think about nerves).
I rode pretty confidently for a long time. Early 2010 I fractured my lower back and was out of riding for 3-4 months (and to make matters worse, I had just started a lease!). I leased a 17 year old OTTB who was the sweetest thing! Even coming back into riding after my fracture healed, I was able to hop right back on and pick up where I left off.
Even after taking a horse on a trail ride who was nervous and took off with me-still didn't knock my confidence. I shook it off and took him back to the barn.
Today though would be a completely different story. Having your confidence knocked is not fun, especially when it's something you truly love to do. Although I haven't gotten on a horse in a few years, it's still something I love and am dying to get back into it.
I plan on starting lessons sometime in the next month and am planning to actually start saving up for my own horse when I start to get more confident again! :) For me I think it's just a matter of talking myself past the nerves and telling myself to relax.
I was actually at a family friend's barn today to visit a young drum horse they just got in. Most adorable and fuzzy thing ever! I was standing there talking with the owner in the field and a horse came up to me, rubbing against me and sniffing me for treats. As I was driving home I was thinking, "Wow, it felt really good to be back in a barn with horses coming up and hanging out with me. To have that barn smell and horse smell when I leave.. Boy do I really miss it!" :)
Sorry I know that was a novel haha! I wish you the best of luck getting back into it!