I'm sick of lessons and chasing some ideal in someone else's mind - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 05:09 PM Thread Starter
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I'm sick of lessons and chasing some ideal in someone else's mind

Rant ahead, turn away if you don't particularly enjoy reading a good moan :)

So, I've been riding for 4 years, bought my mare in spring this year. I'm taking 5 lessons a week. I don't particularly want to do anything with my horse other than spend time with her and ride. No competitions or shows, no goals other than not falling off. I've achieved my goal admirably, I haven't fallen off in a year :)

So, I'm not even sure what my instructor is trying to achieve. "Yes, you did turn but she wasn't bent". "See, now she's bent. Isn't that much better?". I couldn't see the difference. I mean, yes, I can see the physical difference but I just can't see the point. We turned just fine without bending. And we turned much more pleasantly , because I didn't have to think about half halting, knees, legs, head, shoulder, hand - I just turned my horse around without the whole production - and she turned. Good enough for me.

Same thing with speed. My mare is forward. And I like forward, that's why I bought her. My instructor has me working to slow her down. We slow her down. I don't like it. Plus, when she's going slowly she gets gate-sour and keeps wiggling and I keep having to correct her and it just irritates me to no end. "But she's not tracking from behind when she's going fast". I couldn't give a fly's whisker about where she's working from as long as we are moving, not prancing about and having to think about a million details to keep her prancing.

She keeps giving me these instructions and then telling me "See, so much better". Well, I usually see no difference. The horse is moving, I haven't fallen off either way.

I wanted to jump small jumps. "No, neither you nor the mare are ready". I jump them when she's not there without any trouble.

Sorry, I just had to get it out on here because my husband can't take any more horse talk :)

And another thing: all that bending and tracking from behind and my former western trail mare still goes much better over poles than hers. She's been riding him for six years, all pretty head and tucked tummy: "Whack, whack, whack". Maybe I should be giving her lessons. My mare goes over them nicely, no stumbling and whacking. Maybe because I'm not fussing so much :)
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post #2 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 05:14 PM
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It depends on your goals. Yes I think some things should be consecutive....like jumping, if you aren't ready you shouldn't be jumping. Or getting yourself into a situation you aren't ready for that you don't realize you're getting into as you don't know. Also valid. But as far as just general riding, if you want to just bum around and have fun there is NOTHING wrong with that. Why are you taking 5 lessons a week if you don't have any desire to progress and are happy with where you are?

Your trainer is not at fault, you're at fault for getting lessons when you have no desire to learn what is being taught. Sit down with your trainer and outline your goals and desires better so you are on the same page. If you want to learn reining you won't go to a top level hunt seat instructor....

There IS a benefit to the things she is teaching you, and I wouldn't be so quick to shun it, but you also need to be on the same page with how you want to go about this, right now you obviously aren't.
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post #3 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 05:18 PM
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Drop your lessons down to once a week (some training is probably good for both you and your horse) and spend the other 4 days doing what you want.

R.I.P. JC 5/19/85 - 12/9/14. You made my life better.
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post #4 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 05:18 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yogiwick View Post
Why are you taking 5 lessons a week if you don't have any desire to progress and are happy with where you are?
I don't even know. I didn't even think about it, I'm a novice rider with my first horse, it somehow goes without saying that I should be taking lessons. I'm going to rethink that one.

Thanks.
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post #5 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 05:19 PM
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I love to take lessons and look forward to mine whenever I have time for them. And as much as I love to ride and take lessons, I'm not sure I'm up for 5 a week, especially not for purely classical dressage. That's INTENSE for you and for the horse. I'm thinking you're burning out and need a break.
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post #6 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 05:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Horsef View Post
I don't even know. I didn't even think about it, I'm a novice rider with my first horse, it somehow goes without saying that I should be taking lessons. I'm going to rethink that one.

Thanks.
What DA said, lessons are FANTASTIC and I like your logic, that is very sound.

But FIVE a week? I think I've done that maybe 4 times ever (sleep over camps as a kid). Also make sure the lessons match up with your goals.

Talk to your instructor about what your goals are, and while I wouldn't necessarily say stop lessons cold turkey it may help you to back off a little, you can always go back to more if you think you need it.

It could very well be at some point you want to get more in depth but you clearly don't want to right now. As I said, some things are very valid- you're a novice if your coach thinks you aren't ready to jump I would respect that as things can go very bad very fast, so a talk can help you both be on the same page and have a game plan that makes everyone happy.
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post #7 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 05:27 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamcatcher Arabians View Post
And as much as I love to ride and take lessons, I'm not sure I'm up for 5 a week, especially not for purely classical dressage.
Eh, "classical dressage" would be too grandiose a word for what I'm doing :)

Thanks.
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post #8 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 05:34 PM Thread Starter
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Sorry, just to clarify, I was jumping before with a different instructor, even did a 70cm show - 40 year old me and a bunch of 10 year-olds, I won! :)

I'm not actually planning on jumping all that much and the jumps were glorified cavalletti, I'm not a daredevil at all.
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post #9 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 06:15 PM
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If you are satisfied with what your getting out of your horse, stop taking lessons. That said, consider how you might improve the relationship between you and your horse.

Some instructors are focused on helping the rider test better or do better at shows. Others are focused more on helping the rider develop a better relationship between the rider and the horse. I think, from your post, you would better appreciate the latter type of instuctor.

If you only want what you want and have reached that point, again, stop taking lessons. If on the other hand, you care about what your horse wants, consider how you might change your riding to help your horse and find an instructor who can help you achieve this goal.
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post #10 of 59 Old 11-26-2016, 06:24 PM
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I'm on the go-to-the-one-lesson-a-week bandwagon. Five? That's too much for anyone.

Just ride the rest of the time! Go on a trail. Ride to music. Canter around to your heart's content. Just have fun.
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