I would ditch your instructor to be honest. Its much more fun to do what you want to do and not have anyone tell you what to do. It sounds like you and your horse are fine without her.
Ehhh ..I agree to some extent, and disagree to another.
IMHO, every rider can benefit from lessons. Especially one that is semi-new to riding/does not yet understand how to achieve correct way of going (no offense meant!), as well as a rider that is new to horse ownership.
Whether a rider has goals of competition, or casual laid-back rides, it is, IMHO, important to have the horse moving correctly. It will benefit the horse greatly, vs. running around with their head in the air. Of course, I have not seen the horse moving, however I can only assume due to what OP says about the horse being "forward" and the instructor wanting the horse to engage it's hind and work on collection. It is of zero benefit to the horse to run around like a giraffe. Just my two cents.
While I agree that this sound like it is not the right instructor for OP (pushing for 5 lessons a week when all OP wants to do is have laid back rides? Seriously, 5 a week is a lot for anyone, most I've done is 3-4 a week back when I was competing, and that was only leading up to a show, and absolute most I'd take at a time..5 a week is unheard of. Sounds like instructor isn't listening to OP's goals. However, I do agree with what instructor seems to have said about working on proper collection and not being ready to jump. If a horse does not/is not able to go around correctly,
then NO, they are not at all ready to be jumping anything
My advice to you OP, is either have a serious chat with trainer about your goals for riding so they understand that 5 per week is just too much for you considering your future goals. I obviously don't know your instructor, none of us do, but I do agree 100% with what your instructor has stated to you (considering the facts we've been given regarding your instructors goals for your horse/you/collection/jumping). If your instructor is more geared toward competition riders (ie: heavier lesson schedule), then in your case I would find a new instructor that is more accepting of a laid back schedule. That in no way means that you should disregard what current instructor has said, but just find a instructor that will teach the same things (correct way of going, not running around like a giraffe/important things for ANY rider/horse) in a more laid-back schedule. Unless you are competing, you don't need 5 lessons per week, even then 5 is pushing it IMHO.