Move yard? Covid? First world problem? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 01:02 PM Thread Starter
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@ACinATX the fields from my house are 45 min drive one way and to get public transport requires quite a few changes so even longer. I have to avoid public transport atm as risk is too big to others and myself. Also its appalling how people really don't give a hoot about sanitation or the compulsory masks. Its the city and very busy and sometimes not possible to keep your distance. It is just too much though if I had a car I would consider it. In fact I've been thinking about what you said and just getting a cheap run around. Its parking as well as where I live they are expanding the congestion charge - atm you have to pay £11.50 a day and is all automated via camera. So to visit the yard or use a car locally will cost me that per day. In addition to parking permit, insurance, road tax etc etc. And with new emissions regulation coming in can only have new brand of car. Why you think I need to get out of here? It's ridiculous!

@horselovinguy am definitely thinking that maybe I could bring her locally to me for a few months? To just do a full reset and then decide. It means I would be full DIY but it is only 10 mins walk from my house. No stalls or storage but again.. 10mins from my house. I could go at 3am if I wanted! There isn't a ring but there is a dirt patch where you can ride. It's tiny but enclosed enough. I could just work on our relationship and small things. As I'm off work I could spend hours every single day and that is something I have never gotten to experience. I could bring my dogs, who she loves. I will take pictures when I walk the dogs tomorrow. Like even if it meant that I could just work on both our confidence and end up moving back or to another yard eventually with facilities.

I just worry for her. She's settled and very happy.

Thank you everyone else who commented especially about half leasing. It is something to consider if selling doesn't work out in this current climate. It's been extremely cathartic to vent here and get your feedback. I feel much calmer. <3
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post #12 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 01:32 PM
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The more you talk about it, the more I like that place that's close to you. Just a 10-minute WALK? You COULD visit her every day, heck you could visit twice a day. And if you're thinking about having her on your own place, then having her out there where you are her main caregiver will be really good experience for you. And you do have a little bit of a space where you can ride. You can get to know her, and get a much better sense for your relationship as well. And surely it must be cheaper than the place you're at now?
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post #13 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 02:06 PM
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I have only scanned lightly anything since your opening post . . . so I'm sorry if I missed something relevant.


Also, I would love to hear about your personal experience with Covid19.

But, as to Katie . . . . I feel that now is the time to let Kate be purchased by the Staff at your stable.

I think that might sound harsh or heartless. But hear me out. I think that with all you are dealing with, your health, your income being precarious, your desire to make a huge move out to the country, your worries when you DO ride her about riding out alone . . . etc. that you need to LIGHTEN YOUR LOAD.


Doing even the move out to the country will be a huge and challenging affair, done when your body is perhaps dragging along physically, in an environment where everyone is so stressed about the future, and in an economic situtation that is going to get MUCH worse before it gets better.


If you have a great home for your beloved Katie now, I would sell her to this place. You will be horseless, but you will never have to worry about her again. Then, you can let that go from the garden of worries that is growing in your soul. Then you take a deep breath, and start looking for your place in the country.


When this dream becomes a reality, you will go and look for a new equine partner. And, as @QtrBel said, find one that is more suited to your needs and skill level. You want a horse that is steady and fun to ride out on the trails and roads. It is SO liberating to have a horse that is sane about riding out. It is so much fun to know that your horse will take you out and bring you back, with a 99% rate of success, in one happy piece.


This is a big time for many people. This is not a normal time, at all. You may have been thinking these things all along, but could not make that leap. Now, well, circumstances might be making that necessary AND beneficial in the long run. Sometimes it just is TIME to move on.
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post #14 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 03:41 PM Thread Starter
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@tinyliny very hard read. And something I've been thinking about seriously - especially when I was at my most sick. It is a serious consideration. Both because of things you said but also because I feel like I am not as fun for Katie as they are.

As for covid... I had come off a string of doing nights and as anyone knows trying to flip back to daytime is hard. Started off as a headache. Normal. I have cat allergy and three cats so its not unusual to sometimes cough especially as if I forgot to close my door one of my cats would sleep on my pillow. Was extremely hot but when overtired that's normal. Woke up drenched. I just felt so unwell. Like I'd run a marathon and had no water. I had the flu once when younger and I was bedridden for a week with it. Got my yearly since. I have had severe tonsillitis to the point I went septic and had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital- my mother didn't want me to waste nhs time so kept putting it off until she went to wake me and I'd made a mess in the bed. I was 17 at the time. It took nearly a month to recover and even longer to be back to normal. I did go ITU then. Since had my tonsils out. Covid reminded me of that but I didn't end up in ITU. Got tested, hydrated, medicated and sent home. It was like the flu really and couldn't do anything. Seriously at one point I considered crawling on the floor back to my bed I was that exhausted. And the aching. I have never had my body ache in so many places at once and no position brought relief. Had no appetite and honestly never paid attention if I could taste/smell anything either so can't comment on that though seems pretty common from what I was told. The biggest thing for me now is my cardiovascular stamina if thats correctly put. I just get breathless and tired really easily doing tasks that were fine before. Like cleaning out the birds or reptiles etc would be a non-issue but when you realise how fast people lose muscle just laying in bed a week even.. it makes sense. Am fine now really just need to work a little harder to get back in shape. It's amazing how fast the months have flown by...

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Also in the last 30 minutes I learned that my neighbour from a few roads down used to own horses! I only met her half a year ago as her daughter hired us both to care for her father. She used to own horses and show jump apparently! She's in her 60's with a bad hip but kept horses in the field nearby and when her last one died of old age she decided no more. Am going to tentatively ask for her opinion and see if she'd be willing to help offer support. She's unmarried and quite lonely I think so would be a nice outlet for her without the trouble of owning one herself.

I have also been thinking.. if Katie was nearby I could bring her to my house to bathe and groom her. My house is on the corner with direct garden access. I'd just have to make sure to take her poop back which is easily doable with some rigging or bicycle trailer (that I have). Horses are ridden around locally and even illegally in the parks (police will ticket/ kick people out if they catch them). One rider is OFTEN riding down these cycle paths (real road included below with arrows where she was riding):

They go 40mph and some idiots do 60mph+ when its quiet. I think its INSANE to ride here

gwr.jpg


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Below is a picture of the local layout... IDK if anyone even cares to see...


osterley2.jpg

edit: oh you cant see so well. Green are the fields. Red can't ride. Orange is the dirt circle ppl ride around. Pink is the direct bridleway - but its pure gravel only. I don't know if can ride in the fields will ask when I enquire at least.


So yeah. Maybe just bring her down and that alone should tell me if I have what it takes. Right now I have more time and nothing to do. I could easily care for a horse right now. Whether or not am deserving or capable.. I think so. Given enough time.. which I currently have.
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post #15 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 04:19 PM
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I think moving her to the place 10mins away would be a great option. You'd be able to care for her, it's closeby, & you wouldn't have to deal with anyone or worry about having an 'appointment' once a week to go see YOUR horse. I'd move her there.

My horse is at a private barn, it doesn't have an arena (there's an empty pasture I ride in, so that's my 'arena'). I'm self care now (I was full care, but switched to self since I'm working from home currently). My horse has a run-in but that's it, no stall, which is fine anyway since she's always out 24/7. The barn is about 25mins away, but it doesn't really bother me.

I think that would really be beneficial for your mental health too, having her closeby & being able to really enjoy her. It will make your bond stronger. :)
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post #16 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 05:03 PM
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I don't think anyone is questioning whether you are deserving or capable. You are an adult and you've worked hard to make your dream a reality. You've proven you are capable of working through issues and you aren't caught up in ego so much as to let your horse suffer for what you don't know.

This would be why I said not only is it a question to ask yourself but to point out that as a capable adult you could do either sell her on where you know she is happy or if you decide not to go that route that as a capable adult I think you would look at your needs and find some solution that works.

While there are legitimate responsibilities and concerns you should not have to worry about those things to such an extent as tinyliny pointed out. You should have a horse that instills confidence in you and your partnership that doesn't keep those concerns so much in the forefront. Can Katie become that horse?

I have seen your situation work with the right support. I think you are not so invested in ego that you wouldn't seek help and advice.
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post #17 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 06:10 PM
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Many thoughtful opinions have been expressed. I would second the idea that you should not rush into making a decision right now. Why not start looking for a place in the country, leave Katie where she is for now, and eventually, bring her out to live with you?

The idea that you cannot see your own horse more than once a week baffles me. She's your horse. I understand they need to control how many people coming and going, but that's just not right.

None of the street scenes you've posted look like much fun to me. I would have zero interest in riding in those environments, but I also can't wrap my head around how a horse could be happy living in the middle of a city. You say Katie is happy. She's well-groomed, and gets used a lot, but do you really think she's happier there than if she were quietly living in a country yard? No cars, no noise, just countryside... seems pretty nice to me. Stress, anxiety, traffic, those things don't seem nice.

In the end, I've learned there are a lot of different types of horse people. Some like to compete, some like to have adventures and keep pushing themselves and their horses further and further, some like to ride and don't understand why you would want a horse and not ride it all the time. Some, like me, just live for that connection with horses. Whether it's on their backs, or on the ground, I just want to connect. I've learned that I'm not prepared to sacrifice that connection by pushing my horse or myself to do things we aren't ready to do, and that I don't want to be the "boss", I want to be the person they like to hang around with. My most special memories with Rusty aren't even about riding (though I ride him a lot) - they're quiet moments late in the day when he chooses to be by my side even when the other horses walk away.

I think most if not all horses are just as happy, if not happier, living a quiet life with people who value them as living beings, not just mounts. I'm not suggesting that the people who ride Katie are like that, but I AM saying that I really don't think Katie will be unhappy because she is no longer being trailered to all the events and jumping all over the place.

And I think you'll be more at peace in a little house in the country with all your critters and none of the stress of the city. But maybe that's just me...
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post #18 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 06:16 PM
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No wander you have anxiety riding on that road. Especially with kids running loose. Kids are prone to doing some really irrational things - like the one which decided to run right in front of my horse out of the side door of the indoor. I personally wouldnít even think of riding on that road - but I am a coward.

I would agree with @Acadianartist . I donít think there are many horses which enjoy showing. But all of them enjoy quiet country side living.
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post #19 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 06:20 PM
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Kalraii....I'm in favor of come home as you know...not sell!!

Do you have the stamina now to do that trek a few times a day and have you done it?
Wanting to and having to do when not feeling great is two different matters.
If, if you are not yet strong enough in stamina to do the trek...that might make you have to keep Katie at the current barn one more month as you regain more strength and stamina. A month...
My horses are in my yard...but when I'm sick, the walk to the barn. scoop feed and feed them , assure there is ample water in their trough and toss hay is enough I come back in and go to bed...and I'm not riding/walking or bicycling 10 minutes away and need to get home when just done-in.
Make sure you truly are ready physically for the challenge cause it is a challenge and you can only rely on you even if the neighbor friend offers, that's great, but Katie is your responsibility for her care in the end.

No, I do not think you should sell her...
You financially are secure.
You have the resources to buy the home you want in a rural setting you desire that allows for Katie to come home and maybe another for company.
You rode this horse for months alone, out by yourself with no issues...she loves to hack and now although you've been sick, before this you were riding with more confidence and ability cause you had had some great lessons and continued to work independently to improve what you were taught.
You also spent countless hours walking, just being with her and were happy.

If you go home Katie will be out more not confined to a stall and having to rely on ridden for her exercise.. where she is now she no longer has t/o with the loss of the other barns stalls, riding rings and field t/o...
There is nothing at this current facility to entice you to stay their, they have to use the lorry for every ride and excusion is not a place you want to remain at regardless.

I have a feeling that if $ were a issue, it is cheaper to have your horse home than in some livery.
My horses cost me approximately $100 USD a month to be fed very well, stall bedded. To board anyplace with stall, feed and hay plus bedding is $350++. Farrier and vet would cost the same no matter where they lived.
You still need to pay rent for a roof over your head so that to me is equal except you will own not hand over rent and have nothing to show for it...own and a mortgage...you own, its yours!

Mentally this is the strongest part of this...it has been your hearts desire since you bought Katie and probably long before to own a home with ability to have your horse{s} at home.
I would never give up on that dream and would chase it now harder than ever before actually.
It will be a time of adjustment, but being financially secure is a huge weight off the shoulders, sounds you have a income waiting for you to return to it, the economy everywhere right now makes buying if you can, more for less money a plus.
I don't see the negative.
I do see great depression if you sell, I see turmoil and loss of your best friend if you sell, I see a motivation point gone to work to overcome lingering effects of covid now take over.
You've mentioned many times that "city" life is not really your cup of..., but now that is not something you need to deal with anymore.
Life circumstances changed and where maybe a door closed...I think a door has opened that gives you the opportunity to grab the golden ring and swing it with all your might.
Go, make those plans, change the course of your life so you are fulfilled and happy daily...with the hiccup of make sure you have regained the stamina to do that daily horse care, or make plans, put them into action and know that in 30 days Katie comes home to her new barn and a new life begins for you both.
Stay stagnant in a life you do not like...to me that is not mentally healthy a existence.
Sell the horse that gave you your wings, such happiness...absolutely not.
It isn't the motivation of money needed so don't sell Katie...don't!!
It is the loss of seeing and being with what makes you whole{Katie} that concerns me if you cancel your life's dreams and desires from finding a conclusion.

You know, if you try and fail ...at least you tried.
If you just toss it away and sell, give in ...there is nothing like your first horse and the special spot that no other animal will ever fill in your heart.
Don't open that void now...just don't, please.
Instead follow your heart, follow your dreams and the confidence you have in you, that you can do this and do it!!


AA..you've said it perfectly.
Thank-you for sharing from your heart and gut to Kalraii another viewpoint about just being with the animal so few understand.

There is peace inside that just makes the heart sigh, and you've found it and found a way to put it into words.

...

The worst day is instantly better when shared with my horse.....
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post #20 of 71 Old 06-19-2020, 10:15 PM
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It seems to me that one of your biggest concern is Katie's happiness. I honestly don't think that she will be happier remaining where she is at. I'm not really sure how many people are riding her. One lady? Several people?

One of my horses that I own I know for sure that she loves to go out and about. I don't ride much and I can honestly tell you that she doesn't care. She likes her pasture with her mates too. I don't think that Katie is going to be unhappy without all of these other people riding her. I really think that you might be putting some of your emotions on her. I think that you think that what she is doing right now is fun. Horses do have feelings and do have likes and dislikes but they live in the moment. They are not pining away for yesterday or concerning themselves with tomorrow. I really think that once she settles in, she would be super happy hanging out in a pasture and having you come see her everyday. Go for nice relaxing walks with her and groom her.

Maybe you are a little scared of having all of the responsibility solely on your shoulders. Have you thought about this? Maybe subconsciously, this is holding you back a little. I can tell you, once you get into a routine, it's not so bad or so hard. It's actually enjoyable. It might help if you can have someone dependable on standby if for some reason, like illness or something, you can't do it.

I hang out with my horses most days and ride very little. Between my job and caring for my home, there's not a lot of time left for riding. In the summer, riding is almost nonexistent for me. I hate the heat and humidity and the horses don't like to work in it much either. So unless I get up at 4 am on my days off, it's not going to happen in the summer and I'm not getting up at 4am on my days off. Animals adjust. As long as they have their needs met for their species and they are not neglected or abused, they stay pretty happy with most things.

I"m not sure if you said but if you bring her to live in this field by your home, will she have other horses to interact with? Being alone might be the only thing that she would be unhappy about.

There will be only one of you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.
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