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post #41 of 51 Old 11-20-2014, 10:41 AM
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I'm glad things are better. Just wanted to mention...every day you ride her may not be perfect. You or her will have bad days, be tired, whatever. Some days you may change your mind again, give up, and maybe even cry in despair and frustration.

Remember these good days and what exercises you were doing that made them work out, what you were working on...they will help you move through the rough periods and plateaus.
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post #42 of 51 Old 11-20-2014, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by sunnyone View Post
I'm glad things are better. Just wanted to mention...every day you ride her may not be perfect. You or her will have bad days, be tired, whatever. Some days you may change your mind again, give up, and maybe even cry in despair and frustration.

Remember these good days and what exercises you were doing that made them work out, what you were working on...they will help you move through the rough periods and plateaus.
This is good advice. I always seem to think things should move in a steady line forward and each day should be better than the last and then I get upset if my horse seems to regress for a ride. My riding buddy is constantly reminding me that horses have good and bad days too! So don't be shattered if you have a bad day. As long as things are moving steadily forward over time you are doing well.

PS. I had no idea Thoroughbreds were so "bad." I've never owned one, but my friend had an OTTB and he was wonderful, even for beginner me out on the trails. She used to let me borrow him if I needed an extra horse for trail riding with friends.

I had Arabians at the time and one was high strung and one was calm. So I always sort of lumped TB's into the same personality type as Arabians. But I guess not? Are TB's more high strung that Arabians? The way you guys talk I would cross TB's right off my list of potential purchases. But Arabs I love a lot. Are they truly that different?

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post #43 of 51 Old 11-20-2014, 11:35 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
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Thank goodness you got a second opinion :)

It's so easy to beat ourselves up or psych ourselves out. There is such a thing as being over-horsed.. it's when you simply do not mesh with a horse and you don't have the confidence or try to make positive progress. (This is my definition, not an official one) When I read your situation, you just sounded confused and communication seemed fuzzy too. I can't wait till your next update to see how you guys are doing.

You can do this! And it's okay if you can't, just try your best so long as you're being safe and under trained guidance

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #44 of 51 Old 11-20-2014, 12:38 PM
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Location: CT USA an English transplant
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I try to never lump anything into one category. The behavior you see in a TB that's in racing is associated with a very fit horse that's stabled a lot of its time and fed to the ears on all the sorts of things we wouldn't give an average riding horse/pony
I've actually never owned a TB (even an OTTB) that was high strung, spooky or any more forward going than other non TB horses that had that same mental attitude. These horses have been bred to be able to deal with the atmosphere at a racecourse - they might not be your regular dobbin plodding along but they aren't fire breathing dragons either
This OP lives in the UK and unless you buy a gypsy cob type or a native breed that's never been messed around with in terms of introducing finer bloodlines it would be hard to find a horse or pony that didn't have some TB or Arabian lines in it
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post #45 of 51 Old 11-20-2014, 06:07 PM
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There is no denying that TB's, arabs & such are more reactive than a 'cold blooded' draft on the whole. Most horses I think I've ever known are TB or arab x's. They're just such common breeds. & genetically, just like with mules - some come out like donkeys, others more horse(in brain too!), I don't believe it's true that TB characteristics 'shine through' stronger in all x's.

Also, on the whole, I believe it comes mostly down to the training & handling the horse gets as to how much this 'innate' characteristic is... encouraged. I think it's more about handling than breed, as to whether you get an 'explosive' or 'chilled' horse. And the more I learn, the more I think nutrition also plays a huge part in 'behavioural' stuff too.

I also believe it's very often a 'self fulfilling prophesy' when people are 'breedist' or 'sexist' about horses - if you believe all appaloosas are psychotic, all mares are grumpy for eg, any you ride or handle are likely to... indulge that belief & you'll get what you expect.
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post #46 of 51 Old 11-22-2014, 11:02 AM
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Glad you've found a trainer that is working for you! I'd also advise you to be careful to not buy into the Parelli way as the only way. The Parelli program does have a lot of really useful exercises, but at the end of the day is just one of many ways that a horse can be trained. And as horses are individuals it is important to have many "tools" in your "toolbox" to deal with various issues or training scenarios as they come up.

Can you have a more experienced rider exercise her on a regular basis for you? These don't need to be formal training sessions, but I think you will find she is a lot more willing if she gets regular rides with an experienced rider who is proficient at giving the proper cues and rewards/releases when she responds correctly.

Of course you should still continue your lessons and training, but it can sometimes be hard for the horses to maintain their level of training while the rider is in the middle of learning or re-learning things.

Sounds like you are on the right track! I hope your progress continues to make you more confident and help you enjoy your pony :)
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post #47 of 51 Old 11-24-2014, 07:54 PM
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How is your seat? What does the horse do when she spooks? Is she rearing or bucking, or is she just hopping to the side? If you are falling off routinely I would say you are not a good match for each other. No shame in admitting that.
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post #48 of 51 Old 12-01-2014, 06:31 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for all the support guys ! Really appreciate it!
I had the parelli woman come and to be honest I didn't really understand it! Haha! £45 gone :p
As for crumble (my pony) we seem to be getting on better .. I've started lunging her and now when I say halt she just stops! It's such a good feeling not having to yank on her mouth! Well 90% of the time anyway!
I'm taking her round the farm today so will see how it goes only for a walk / trot as it's really muddy so don't think cantering will be a good idea.
When she spooks she just jumps to the side she never rears or bucks.
I think I've made her sound worse than she is :/ it's mainly just me needing to rebuild my confidence.
I'll let you all know how I get one :) xxx
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post #49 of 51 Old 12-01-2014, 10:19 AM
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If you ride long enough, you will meet a horse that shakes your confidence. I think ground training her is great. In this case, I will tell you what helped me.

Spend time with your horse doing nothing in particular. Watch her graze, sit with her, get to know each other by simply existing in the same area.

They learn from watching you and you can learn by watching them.

Take with you no expectations, no agenda and no fear. Find a calm place in your mind and stay in it, do nothing. No pressure on either of you. No need to touch each other, if she wants to come to you (softly), then let her, but don't expect her to or ask anything of her when she does.

Accept whatever little thing she is willing to give you, like coming closer to graze by you, as an increased trust on her part. Don't initiate it, just accept it.

You will find over time that you feel more comfortable with your horse and her with you. It will eventually translate to the saddle. Bonus, you will learn to find that "calm" place when riding/training as well.

Just as she senses your nervousness, she will sense your calm and it will make her feel safer when she is with you.

You spend your whole life with horses and just about the time you think you have them figured out, a horse comes along that tells you otherwise. quote from my very wizened trainer

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post #50 of 51 Old 12-01-2014, 07:57 PM
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just a thought but have you tried lunging before working her , might help to take the edge off and , she sounds pretty intelligent, maybe she is bored- try something new --and TIRING, lunging over jumps-- then a short hack , or just take her for a walk on the lead--i'm no expert but you are new to her too.
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confidence , desperate , don't know what to do , help me! , need some help here.

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