In a negative mindset about my riding.. please help? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 15 Old 10-23-2016, 11:14 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Zealand
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I was just going to suggest what you said in your last post - advertise around your area for someone who has some quiet horses that need exercise. I'm not sure where in NZ you are but I know of a number of people around where I live that have a couple of horses and no one to ride with. Its a great way to make friends and ride horses without paying for it, plus would be a more relaxed atmosphere where you could probably just go hang out and groom etc if you feel like it. Its always nicer to have someone to ride with, a couple of my friends have 2 + horses and are always asking me to go for rides with them now that I am horseless. Works great for me, I get to ride without having to deal with the maintenance side of it although I always hang out afterwards and offer to do any chores like mucking out etc or cleaning some tack.
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post #12 of 15 Old 10-23-2016, 11:27 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: New Zealand
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Yes I do plan on advertising more seriously in the New year. An opportunity did come up a couple of weeks ago to exercise and compete someones mare but after I inquired I found that they were located too far away for me realistically make it out there more than once a week.
I do like the idea though, and I hope I find something and a more relaxed atmosphere would be quite nice.
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post #13 of 15 Old 10-23-2016, 11:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Bracken View Post
I would love to try be a little bit more friendly and helpful with some of the other girls, but I struggle to relate to them at all and I think they struggle to relate to me as well.
Ah, but your memory doesn't have to be as good as ours(older people) to know what it feels like to be a 14yo girl... and I think, from memory, 14yo girls would LOVE to be befriended by an 18yo!

About the riding school horses and my attitude, I do know that it needs to be changed
Yeah, but at the end of the day, if there's so much niggling at you about it, that you can't change, why bother? You're there to have fun too. Perhaps riding lessons elsewhere, on a single horse would be the way to go. Or have you asked if you can book a particular horse for the lesson, rather than chopping & changing?

the pony club lessons seem to be at a standstill at the moment and the whole group isn't really progressing which I think is frustrating for us all.
Well maybe you can all discuss this as a group then, including with your instructors, what your particular frustrations and goals are, make it a better club!
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post #14 of 15 Old 10-24-2016, 12:18 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: New Zealand
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I don't think the horsey girls have much to gain in friendship from me. I don't have my own horse which sets you back on the making friends list haha. I have given them advice on subject choices for school but I think that's as far as I think we'll go. I'm just not at the riding school enough to create more meaningful friendships. (All the girls in my lesson are "full-time" helpers at the riding school) I could help out there but school takes up too much time and its takes too long to drive out there when you have to ask parents to drop you off and pick you up.

I have asked recently to get one horse for the rest of the year but I cannot always guarantee it. I get who ever is available on the day and doesn't have too high of a workload and that can chop and change each week. However there are a couple of horses that I have flat out said no to riding which they have listened to so I don't have to ride those ones again. :) Lesson's at another riding school probably wouldn't change things as there isn't much available, there is only three riding schools in my general area (20-30 minutes out) I've tried one of them and I didn't like it much. The third one I wouldn't touch with a 10-foot-long pole because it doesn't have a very good reputation.
I have also discussed with some of the girls in my lesson that we desperately need at-least one lesson where we all get horses that we like and feel confident on. So we can have a good positive lesson, I already know what horses we would each want to ride... I just haven't passed it onto my riding instructor yet.
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post #15 of 15 Old 10-24-2016, 02:41 AM
Join Date: Jan 2016
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Oh man, I feel for you on this one. I'm definitely the type to rag on myself and my riding lessons, so I can feel you on the negative attitude.

Honestly, it sounds like you're craving some independence, and that's something a lease would definitely help fix. It also sounds like you're doing exactly what I do when I've been in "all work, no play" mode for too long: your focusing too much on the progression of your riding skills and not enough on your love of horses. I'm very goal-oriented, so I can sometimes lose sight of the journey because I'm staring too hard at the goal, you know? You feel pressured to use what little time you have to learn as much as possible, so you push yourself and then get upset when things don't progress as fast as you expect. The only solution I've found is a lot of self-reflection and a return to simpler things (trail rides, light hacks, just enjoying my horse's company, etc.).

If I'm really having trouble, I might take a few days off (so a couple of weeks, if you ride weekly).

It's great that you've asked to ride one horse for the rest of the year. Having a horse that you ride consistently can really improve your riding (not that riding different horses doesn't, just different types of improvements) and can help you feel more connected to that passion for horses that lurks inside of you. I'd also keep your eyes open for a lease (especially one at your current barn, so you can continue to take lessons there). Maybe even ask your instructor about a possible lease? I know at my barn you can choose to lease one of the lesson horses and then you schedule times to come out and ride on your own two or three times a week, on top of your lessons.

In terms of the money argument for not leasing... well, I'm probably the worst person to ask about that, lol. I'm always of the opinion that if I have to choose between saving money and doing something that makes me happy, I'd much rather be happy than rich.

As for your connection with the other, younger students—pssshaw! I'm 21 and lesson at a barn with students that are mostly in the 12-16 year old range and I have no troubles relating to them. After all, you've all got one major thing in love: horses! Try asking some of them how their lessons have gone/what their show plans are/what they think about different disciplines, or tell a funny story about something your horse did in your lesson. Instant conversation.

Time wise, things will get way easier when you have your license.

Side note: I like your idea of having a "fun" lesson. Maybe talk to your trainer about organizing a Pony Club trail ride or something like that, too! One fun ride together can make all the difference, especially if you guys feel like you're stagnating in the learning department.
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