Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Central Hill Country Texas
To answer your questions:
I would take lessons separately from your daughter. That way she won't feel the need to keep up with mom or visa versa.
Now days I think most, but not all instructors include the basics of equine care in lessons. An emphasis on horsemanship isn't always included though. That would be something to ask when looking for an instructor.
Large vs. small is in the eye of the beholder. I wouldn't worry about that as much as finding a good instructor.
As for that, knowledge and experience are important but the ability to break down riding skills/horsemanship into terms that a beginner or child can understand is very important for a person who is just learning. Make a list of your expectations and priorities and interview based on that. But you probably won't really know if you "click" with someone until you have had a few lessons.
Hope this helps.
“You spend your whole life with horses and just about the time you think you have them figured out, a horse comes along that tells you otherwise.” –quote from my very wizened trainer