Novice confidence shot - Is my new horse suitable for me? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 24 Old 05-22-2016, 03:21 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
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oh why can't the English teach their children how to speak?!

(old timey joke)
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post #12 of 24 Old 05-22-2016, 03:40 AM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Oklahoma
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Being honest here, I only skimmed replies, so apologies if any of this is repetitive.

Something about having your own first horse is, in itself, pretty intimidating. I took lessons on all kinds of different horses with their own habits. However, when I got my first mare (who was old as dirt and quick as a whip), I just didn't seem to have that confidence. She was very forward and, one day, did a few little bucks with me on the trail. Between my trainer's husband being an over-all ******* and the general intimidation I had, I ended up refusing to get on her for probably six months. It took a big chunk out of my confidence.

Don't lose hope. You will get passed this. Your first horse has a lesson to teach you and that lesson is confidence. Take a deep breath and take it easy. There's no reason to rush things. You do have to push yourself out of your comfort zone, though, even if all that is is having someone observe you walk her around an arena for 15 minutes. If you need to, take baby steps. There's no reason to feel like you should be able to gallop - or even trot - across an open field without fear. Don't give up on her and definitely do not give up on yourself. Pace yourself, relax yourself, and remember that your fear is just an emotion and with training, you'll be able to work yourself passed being stuck in that state of fear. (Don't get me wrong, there will always be moments that might scare you or give you the butterflies; it's normal and human.)

When you ride and you feel tense or nervous, take up singing. It doesn't matter if you're any good at it. What it does is give you an outlet for whatever is inside you while giving you something else to focus on. It's like a time-out without stopping what you're doing. Sometimes even just talking to your horse can do the trick. Overall, the point is relaxing yourself so your horse can stay relaxed as well. This will make things progress easier for you both.

I hope to see future posts where you can't shut up about how happy you are with this horse. Good luck and if you ever wanna talk, feel free to shoot me a message. :)

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post #13 of 24 Old 05-22-2016, 03:54 AM
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Hamilton, New Zealand
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Originally Posted by Stoddard View Post
. . . When you ride and you feel tense or nervous, take up singing. . . .
Doesn't everyone talk to their horse? I yak non-stop. Same with little kids!!
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post #14 of 24 Old 05-22-2016, 04:06 AM
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My singing would make any horse bolt!
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post #15 of 24 Old 05-22-2016, 05:54 AM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Clare, Ireland
Posts: 516
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I haven't read all the posts but horses often test new riders to see what they can get away with, if you have shown her that you'll keep riding, she will realise she can't get away with it.
I wouldn't buy a horse who is ridden only by kids unless they tell you that kids are riding confidently on their own from walk to canter because it just sounds like a horse who is led around.

My old boy was great with little children but tested everybody else including me. Do you have access to a round pen? If we ever went through difficulties, I did join up
and it works really well
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post #16 of 24 Old 05-22-2016, 05:55 AM
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Northern Ireland
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Napping is a common UK or Irish term for when the horse plants his feet and refuses to go forward, or even tries to move backward. Personally I found the term "barn sour" confusing initially as a horse can decide to do this behavior far away from any barn!

To the OP, give it a little time. The mare is in a new situation and even the dullest of horses will perk up in new surroundings. Take pride in the fact that you are riding through the behavior! It is nothing to be ashamed of to feel fear. All riders will at some point whether they admit it or not!

She will soon get used to the new way of things and settle down. Take a little note of her feeding, turnout and workload and try to compare it to what she was used to before. Is she getting more/fresher grass? More concentrate feed? Would a short lunge before you ride help to take the edge off just until she settles in?

Remember too that it is springtime and all horses tend to feel more energetic at this time. New sugar rich grass and better weather makes us all friskier :p

Keep us posted anyway, and remember to breathe and ENJOY your horse. Reward Her when she's good, its scary for her too!
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“When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.” — Robert A. Heinlein
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post #17 of 24 Old 05-22-2016, 05:57 AM
Join Date: Sep 2015
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Originally Posted by Foxhunter View Post
Napping is the English term for barn sour - refusing to go where wanted and trying to head for home.
Huh, well +1 for things I've learned on this forum! :)
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post #18 of 24 Old 05-22-2016, 03:23 PM
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
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It is good to hear that you had a break through and are doing better. As was pointed out, it does take some time for a horse and rider to know each other well, and that knowledge makes a big difference in your confidence.
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post #19 of 24 Old 05-23-2016, 12:11 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NW Oregon
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Originally Posted by ShirtHotTeez View Post
Doesn't everyone talk to their horse? I yak non-stop. Same with little kids!!

I find talking relaxing. I'm not talking about blathering a blue streak but
comments made along the trail to the horse (or dog) seem more normal than just thinking them.
I talk to the horses in the barn and pasture also so they must be used to it.
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If you ever find yourself in a fair fight, it's because your tactics suck. ~ Marine 1SGT J. Reifinger
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post #20 of 24 Old 05-23-2016, 12:26 PM
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
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So glad to hear you had a positive ride, OP! <3

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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