At 11 years old, this horse is in the prime of his life and definitely not a throw away. It sounds like your farrier tried to bully him and had no patience. While it is your job and your duty to work constantly and consistently with this horse to acclimate him to having his hooves handled and worked on, you should probably be looking for a calmer, less aggressive farrier with patience.
Before you even try lifting the feet, take your hands, gently wrap them around the legs one at a time and gently squeeze all the way down to the hoof. Do it so much that it actually becomes a boring routine for the horse. Then work slowly, calmly but firmly at lifting each leg and gently setting it back down again. When he can accept this, you can start holding each hoof up longer and mimicking what he will feel the farrier do.
If you find yourself getting nervous, breathe deep through your core/stomach, not your chest and consciously think about relaxing. This is going to take time so do it a lot and have patience. I know a lot of very good, knowledgeable farriers but there are quite a few out there who are terrible and abusive.