Questionable trainer behavior....help! - Page 10 - The Horse Forum
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post #91 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 12:28 PM
Green Broke
 
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Originally Posted by Scubasmitten View Post
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Originally Posted by Rainaisabelle View Post
You will find a teacher that suits your ability and personality but you can go through a few to get there ! Persevere you can do it !
Thank you. I'm going to try. She's just left me so anxious. I get nervous every time I drive out there. I hope that doesn't impact my progression elsewhere.
Stop going, cancel all lessons. You're just ruining this for yourself. She's ruining it for you! Your confidence levels are going to be down the drain by the time you get to a new instructor ! Posting isn't easy when you first learn to do it so don't fret about it.
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post #92 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 12:35 PM Thread Starter
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Aww, that is awesome to hear. What lucky horses you have! Not all horses get good treatment...especially my last lesson horse. I should have known what I was in for when my instructor told me not to go "poor baby". It was in response to her giving me his history (couple divorced, horses were left with bitter husband. They had no children, so he took it out on the horses to get at the ex wife. He starved 2 out of 3 to death. My horse was emaciated, had buck shot in him and was slashed up.) Then she said don't pity them. It's either they're here performing their duties, and being obedient or they're slaughtered...which I understand is true, but I will feel sorry for him if I want to! Gosh. :/ That's a horrible thing to endure. I'm not going to treat him like an object and pretend he doesn't have feelings. So sad. At least he's somewhat happy now, aside from being smacked around and kicked by my instructor. Maybe she'll keep her hands off him now that he's been purchased. He is still being boarded there. I wish I had the time, but I can't step away often with a little one and no daycare right now. What you do for a living, exactly? I would have loved to had been there if I could. I'd have gone to school for nursing if I didn't have an icky immune deficiency. I enjoy caring for people and animals. Its funny, because my husband hates it! God forbid I take care of that man. His masculinity is at stake! His man card may be revoked. Bahaha. Men. I'm up late worrying about my lesson in the morning. I'd much rather work with animals than people. People are meeean! Lol
You know what? That is a "poor baby" story and one that would make ME think fond thoughts of visiting some rough justice on the idiot that mistreated that poor horse. Horses are such wonderfully trusting and forgiving animals, much more than a lot of folks deserve.

Your trainer is right but, IMO unnecessarily jaundiced in her views, in being so accepting of the sad lot of a lot of horses. To say, "They're either hear working or going to slaughter.", is painting with a too narrow vision. My friends and I were talking and I made the comment about one of my mares, that even if I could never ride her again (for whatever reason, me or her), I would not sell her. She will have a home here until she dies.

I am chief cook and bucket washer and manure picker for 8 adult horses and 2 soon to be born foals. When I'm not working here, caring for them, I work part time as a roving patient services rep for a large medical corporation. Mostly I'm the barn help with some assistance from a college girl who comes in daily to handle some of the chores with me.

My horses ARE spoiled, rotten. My husband says that I buy "Gucci Blankets" for them and shop the GW (Good Will) Boutique for me. It's not quite that bad, but I do make sure they get what they need before I spend anything on anything I don't feel is a necessity. They are spoiled if you consider that they are well fed, kept safe, groomed to within an inch of their lives, loved on, and asked to work occasionally. They are not spoiled to the extent that I allow them to be dangerous or disrespectful.

My friends, who are considering buying a horse or 2, are new to horse keeping. They ride at what I call Beginner - Intermediate Trail level. They can stick most things that would happen on a trail ride, but have not been trained to show, which they're also considering learning about. They came out here to see the day in, day out work and care for horses to see if it's something they want to take on or if they would rather have horses in a boarding situation. One thing that has struck them is that they can walk out into my pastures with my horses and they are not worried about being injured because my horses all understand 'personal space'. They also like that the horses come up, one at a time, for pets and loving and then move on and let the next horse in. They get that that is consistent handling and training, not something the horses just do on their own. They've been here a week and I have not raised my voice, my hand or my foot to a single horse. I would if needed, but it hasn't been needed.

LOL! Husbands are silly, vain creatures. They are either like yours or they turn into complete babies that all but want a diaper change when they're sick or injured. There doesn't seem to be any in between.
I'm glad you would keep the mare. I think that's the way it ought to be. A horse is still a pet and deserves not to be abandoned like they're no good anymore. =/ I've seen a lot of that already. If you can no longer care for them, that's understandable.

No shame in thrift store shopping. Lol! The blankets make me think about I comment I saw on a man's website saying horses don't actually need blankets and that it's only women who feel the need to nurture them to that extent. =/ While I don't know for sure, I feel like that's just a guy thing. They're usually NOT nurturing. My husband will carry my son to bed and never really worries about covering him up.

My instructor doesn't like us to give horse treats. I saw my friend with a bag of peppermint treats so I searched all over and found some. I thought its the least i can do to thank the horse for putting up with me. When I brought them, she said "oh no...you're one of those..." i asked if its ok to give them one and when i should--I was thinking after the lesson and thats what she said, but she said not every lesson...that they will end up trying to mug me and bite. On another trainers website, it says they give you a bag of carrots every class (and a granola bar and water for yourself--gosh, sounds like star treatment compared to my place of instruction!!) I understand they can get mouthy and associate you with treats, but I'm wondering what everyone's stance is on this? That place is $10 cheaper per lesson, too and has really nice reviews.
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post #93 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 12:40 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Rainaisabelle View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scubasmitten View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainaisabelle View Post
You will find a teacher that suits your ability and personality but you can go through a few to get there ! Persevere you can do it !
Thank you. I'm going to try. She's just left me so anxious. I get nervous every time I drive out there. I hope that doesn't impact my progression elsewhere.
Stop going, cancel all lessons. You're just ruining this for yourself. She's ruining it for you! Your confidence levels are going to be down the drain by the time you get to a new instructor ! Posting isn't easy when you first learn to do it so don't fret about it.
Thanks. I will try elsewhere and let you all know what happens. My confidence has been shot a while now. I'm wondering if thats why I'm underperforming. Fingers crossed that I find nice, supportive people.
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post #94 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 12:48 PM
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I think it says something about the way they treat their horses. My trainer left a barn because he felt the horses were overworked especially in the summer months when it is deadly hot here (only three of them for both English and Western, and 20 riders in each category a week) and not given proper veterinary care when they needed it. When he raised the issue with the BO, he was reminded these were not his horses, so he left and started his own program.

I give treats to my horses but I always make them do something as a token of obedience first, like take a small step backwards or square up for me. Never had a problem with "mugging" or biting.

“You spend your whole life with horses and just about the time you think you have them figured out, a horse comes along that tells you otherwise.” –quote from my very wizened trainer


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post #95 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 04:25 PM
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if it makes you feel better i have been posting for over 5 years and last week i found out i was doing it wrong XD! its ALL a learning process. but its SO warding. i cannot ride my mare any more but you cant ever make me get rid of her!
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post #96 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 04:38 PM
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Yes please look elsewhere. Do not burn any bridges with the current teacher, but riding should be fun fun fun. If it is not, you will not learn.
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post #97 of 118 Old 04-18-2016, 12:00 AM Thread Starter
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I think it says something about the way they treat their horses. My trainer left a barn because he felt the horses were overworked especially in the summer months when it is deadly hot here (only three of them for both English and Western, and 20 riders in each category a week) and not given proper veterinary care when they needed it. When he raised the issue with the BO, he was reminded these were not his horses, so he left and started his own program.

I give treats to my horses but I always make them do something as a token of obedience first, like take a small step backwards or square up for me. Never had a problem with "mugging" or biting.
Oh, ugh.=/ Any chance you're in Florida or Texas? Its been decent since our climate has gone bipolar...bittersweet, I suppose.
That's how I do my dogs and if they can't listen... no treat. Usually turning my back and waiting for them to come face me calmly does the trick if they're overly excited and not listening.

I've been tempted to ask how many peope ride my horse for lessons, or something along those lines. She chose my discipline and she chose English. I'm not sure why. I'm in that early stage where you know a few things but doing them all simultaneously is iffy. Following patterns in the arena + keeping heels down, arms/legs/hips in right position + steering and stop/go/other commands is hard right now. I slip up. I'll probably look back and wonder how it ever seemed difficult. . As an instructor, I'm much more elegant lol. I'm a fish. A fish trying to ride a horse.There's the problem! My username should have been fish out of water. Lol My SCUBA gear can't read body language or sense insecurity. I think that's one of my nerve triggers....knowing they KNOW. And it's a lot harder to chide a student underwater for a mistake...and if we do it's basically sign language so it's rather easy to ignore lol! Not stressful. Good info! Thanks for the reply.b
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post #98 of 118 Old 04-18-2016, 12:48 AM Thread Starter
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[QUOTE=KigerQueen;8920641]if it makes you feel better i have been posting for over 5 years and last week i found out i was doing it wrong XD! its ALL a learning process. but its SO warding. i cannot ride my mare any more but you cant ever make me get rid of her![/QUOTE

Oh lawd! Hello, future self! Rofl! I've had probably 10 one hour lessons...30-45 minutes of which that were in the saddle--and posting last 3 lessons I believe? Two lessons I had moments where I actually felt like I fit in my saddle during the trot and followed the rhythm of the horse. Either she wasn't watching or I flubbed it. After hearing your story, I'm going with the latter, but at least something felt right! It felt like it was something I could maintain without impending doom, rather than bounce, bounce, bounce, oh crap! Hug neck or eat dirt.

Later, I will probably look back and wonder why I ever found it difficult. Currently, it's tricky doing everything I've learned simultaneously. I suppose it was the same with SCUBA, except the my gear didn't have a mind of it's own so I only had to worry about myself. Just knowing the horse can sense things makes me nervous...and the possibility of screwing up. At least when underwater, we can only chide students by sign language (basically). Not exactly harsh or threatening! Lol!!! I'm just a fish trying to horse.
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post #99 of 118 Old 04-18-2016, 12:48 AM Thread Starter
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[QUOTE=Scubasmitten;8922145]
Quote:
Originally Posted by KigerQueen View Post
if it makes you feel better i have been posting for over 5 years and last week i found out i was doing it wrong XD! its ALL a learning process. but its SO warding. i cannot ride my mare any more but you cant ever make me get rid of her![/QUOTE

Oh lawd! Hello, future self! Rofl! I've had probably 10 one hour lessons...30-45 minutes of which that were in the saddle--and posting last 3 lessons I believe? Two lessons I had moments where I actually felt like I fit in my saddle during the trot and followed the rhythm of the horse. Either she wasn't watching or I flubbed it. After hearing your story, I'm going with the latter, but at least something felt right! It felt like it was something I could maintain without impending doom, rather than bounce, bounce, bounce, oh crap! Hug neck or eat dirt.

Later, I will probably look back and wonder why I ever found it difficult. Currently, it's tricky doing everything I've learned simultaneously. I suppose it was the same with SCUBA, except the my gear didn't have a mind of it's own so I only had to worry about myself. Just knowing the horse can sense things makes me nervous...and the possibility of screwing up. At least when underwater, we can only chide students by sign language (basically). Not exactly harsh or threatening! Lol!!! I'm just a fish trying to horse.
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post #100 of 118 Old 04-18-2016, 12:53 AM Thread Starter
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Ok. i give up. LOL I keep thinking I've lost my messages and retyping and submitting.
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