Questionable trainer behavior....help! - Page 7 - The Horse Forum
 109Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #61 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 04:26 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaBreezy View Post
About the whole guilt thing - yes, our horses are born into domestication/society, but aren't people born into it as well? I don't know about you, but I don't dream about running off into the wild and hunting/gathering to survive. I live in a house, I work to benefit society, and I accept the way things are. The same goes for domesticated horses, if you think about it. They aren't wishing they could run free in the wild because life on the farm is all they know; it's their whole world. And these horses, if treated respectfully, are happy. It is not hard to tell if a horse is happy - if he looks healthy and socializes well with both humans and other horses, then he is a happy being.

Does he have to work? Yes. But so do we. And honestly, I feel like a working horse is much happier than a 'pasture puff', or a horse who sits around day in and day out. A job keeps their minds active and gives them purpose. Just like how unemployed people get depressed, I think it works both ways.

I can totally understand your empathy towards animals because I have always felt the same way, but sometimes it's good to think rationally rather than emotionally.

As for your instructor. I only read the first two pages, but from what I gather she is a dominant type who is heavy-handed with the horses. I generally don't agree with these sort of horse people. I ONLY slap a horse if he has or is about to harm me in any way. I do not agree with slapping horses to 'get them moving' or 'get their attention'. I have had my mare for 11 years and I have only slapped her ONCE in her entire life, and that was when she was a two year old and she lunged at me with teeth bared in the pasture. That one slap was all it took, and nine years later she hasn't so much as pinned an ear at me. Your safety is most important...so yeah, a slap or whack to the chest with a lead rope may be in order if a horse is threatening to bite or kick you. And if you think about it, horses bite and kick each other all the time in the pasture, so a measly slap with your hand isn't going to traumatize him. However, it's when people resort to hitting/slapping all the time that I don't agree with. At that point, they become a bully to the horse, and when horses themselves act like bullies in the pasture, it turns the other horses off from them, and sometimes they get an ****-kicking when another horse gets fed up with it.

I know you're inexperienced, but don't deny your gut feeling if you feel that your instructor and the people at your barn are too aggressive with the horses. Riding horses should be enjoyable, not a moral dilemma every time you go out to the barn! I would suggest finding a new instructor. Good luck!
Regarding the surviving in the wild, that is true!! Lol! However, I wouldn't mind 'trying it' so long as I could quit if I needed to! We spend a lot of time outdoors and in the woods and I always bring in far more food than my husband! :) It's really helpful hearing from others. It opens my mind. Thanks to all who took the time!

You are spot on about my teacher. She is a very dominant, strong personality and will absolutely beat a horse into submission. I'm biting my tongue and squirming inside every time. I hope I am wrong about her...I really do, but my gut says otherwise. I understand smacking them for being nasty towards you. The fact that you had a mare (as I understand they can be quite moody) and only hit her once, speaks volumes. I feel like surely there is another way? I mean, does she lack the skill/tools to properly correct a horse and she compensates by being a jerk or is she,a bully who just gets off on it? I understand there is no time for lunging in the middle of an hour long session, but are there other options? Please tell me so that when I ask her if its necessary, I have something to come back with....rather than "doh...I dunno. I'm a newb. Sorry. Let the beatings continue. " Thank you and thank you for your time! I've texted her about a lesson saturday and gotten no reply. I've been feeling strange and wondering if she even wants to teach me anymore. I'll let everyone know what happens....
Scubasmitten is offline  
post #62 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 04:33 PM
Trained
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,093
• Horses: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaBreezy View Post
About the whole guilt thing - yes, our horses are born into domestication/society, but aren't people born into it as well? I don't know about you, but I don't dream about running off into the wild and hunting/gathering to survive. I live in a house, I work to benefit society, and I accept the way things are. The same goes for domesticated horses, if you think about it. They aren't wishing they could run free in the wild because life on the farm is all they know; it's their whole world. And these horses, if treated respectfully, are happy. It is not hard to tell if a horse is happy - if he looks healthy and socializes well with both humans and other horses, then he is a happy being.

Does he have to work? Yes. But so do we. And honestly, I feel like a working horse is much happier than a 'pasture puff', or a horse who sits around day in and day out. A job keeps their minds active and gives them purpose. Just like how unemployed people get depressed, I think it works both ways.
This is worth repeating. Lots of other people have addressed this and I think it's great that you brought it up OP, because it shows you've put some thought into how the horse feels.

If I opened the door to my horse's barn and opened up all the paddocks, he MIGHT decide to leave (though probably not), but he'd be coming back real soon for his rations! Horses sometimes escape or dump their rider on a trail and guess where they head? The barn. Not some utopian horse fairyland.

It would be like saying it's cruel that we keep dogs. Our dogs do not want to leave us or the comforts of our homes!

Yes, the horse has a job. Although in our case - and in most cases - that's a pretty posh job. Carrying around an 11 year old for 45 minutes three times a week is hardly slave labour. In exchange, they have our love, care, food, shelter and medical attention. The rest of the time they get to hang out with a herd in a pasture and just be horses. And my horse actually likes being ridden and follows me around the paddock! He wants to do things with me because he equates me with good things.

Which is why what you're describing regarding some of what's happening at the barn is so offensive. Hitting a horse in a situation that doesn't warrant such an extreme reaction is certainly not going to enhance your relationship. I want my horse to respect me, but also to have a positive association that comes with spending time with me. This is why a good coach or trainer always ends on a positive note! You don't ever want a horse, or a rider, to go away thinking they were horrible. It's basic psychology that applies to both humans and horses.

I've slapped my horse on the chest with a lead rope to remind him of his ground manners and have poked him/bumped him on the nose when he was acting like he was going to bite. But never hard enough to actually hurt him. Teaching a child to hit a horse in the face is really irresponsible since children have more difficulty controlling their impulses than adults and the last thing you want to do is hit a horse out of anger.

You do need to leave this barn. Can you just tell this instructor that you're taking a break from riding while you look for another barn? Can you tell her you'd like to try a different discipline? I did have one of my daughter's coaches stop talking to me after we decided to go with someone else, but I don't really care. You just have to find a way to tell her in a way that will be the least offensive. And if she takes it badly, well, life goes on.
Whinnie likes this.
Acadianartist is online now  
post #63 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 04:41 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by BroInBreeches View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scubasmitten View Post
Thanks! I'm going to give it some time before I make a decision. I'm really not sure if it's a common problem for the horse, but I CAN say he started doing it the last 3 lessons. As soon as I was nearing putting the saddle and pad on, I was seeing him do things that led me to believe he was like "Oh sh*t. Not this girl again." LOL I'm sure it's something I'm doing making him dread me riding him. :( I've tried strengthening my thighs and ankles, but then I end up sore for class and the lesson is a waste. Things were going great until we started trying to post the trot. She would always tell me how impressed she was with my progression. She tells some folks that they make her want to quit her job. I don't want to be one of those people. The horse is impatient during grooming. He would walk forward and back and paw. I wish I knew the names of the sounds they make! She said they were happy sounds. Do you think she would have issue with me arriving early (I'm the first student of the day) to tack up and groom to maximize my saddle time? I'm hesitant to ask. She's so irritable. You don't know how lucky you are, regarding Utila! Those guys are AWESOME and so many dive sites there! How was it?? I am so jealous. I watched their videos when rehearsing for my instructor exam! We went on a cruise just to see Roatan and the ship did not dock the port!!! It was weather related. It was my first cruise and at dinner the first night, they came over intercom to announce they just helped rescue a coast guard ship. I was like wtf!!! Nooo. Oh...great...look at those white caps. And guess what--they refunded me a total of $13 for missing the one port I paid to see on a 7 day cruise. Ugh.
Honestly, your instructor sounds more and more like a naughty word--I am not fond of trainers who have what I call a George Morris attitude. (In other words, they think that ripping people apart is the way to get results. Yes, I know it's practically a crime not to be a super fan of George, but I am personally just not a fan of his teaching methods.) As a child and teenager I trained with people who would say things like "If you're afraid to jump it, then get the heck out of my barn!" or "I don't know what that is, but it's not riding!"

That is her, alright! My jaw dropped when I saw her yell at an 8 year old girl who fell off and said " what are you DOING? Get back on!" I can't help but think about my nieces. The girl only took a minute to dust herself off.....sheesh! At a recent lession, she just screamed at the top of her lungs...like a child would. She didn't say anything, just screamed like a child would in a tantrum.My husband was there, and as i passed him on my horse I was like holy crap, horse hitler! She didn't hear me, of course lol.

It's made it so that I am now the sort of horseback rider who never, EVER tells my trainer I've had enough or chickens out or tries to get out of doing exhausting exercises--I just grit my teeth and do what I'm told--but as someone who has now been a teacher, I really don't think this football coach mentality is the healthiest way to teach people things. The fact that she tells some of her riders that they make her want to quit her job remind me of my old trainers. It was pretty emotionally draining, and I usually encourage people to find more supportive trainers now.

I don't think its healthy either. I mean, everyone has their own teaching style, but that's exactly whay put me off art. I quit college and will be changing majors. I had large metal rulers lobbed at me and he would frequently shout at me til I cried in class. I eventually found out he was an alcoholic. That explained a lot. He was so hard on us and expected us to crank out huge, show quality pieces in such a short amount of time. I got burnt out and now art has become stressful for me. I'm really hard on myself. I always get the difficult teachers! While I like that they push me, it's exhausting. I'm used to a challenge. I was in honor school programs my whole life, but I need a break sometimes. I loved this because it relaxed me. Now, it doesn't.

(Though I am also the person who cringes when people cut their lessons short because they are tired or don't want to do an exercise because it's too tough.) That right there is enough for me to encourage people to find someone else, though I guess some people like that sort of attitude.

That really sucks about your Roatan trip! Utila is way better than Roatan, so if you ever get the chance you should totally spend the time there! Roatan is gorgeous and has some really cool dive sites (I did a great shark dive there), but it is super touristy. The second you get off the boat you are bombarded by natives trying to sell you stuff, and you spend all your time being choked by tourists. Utila is a backpacker community, so you get treated like a local when you're staying there. It's also a lot cheaper--I stayed in a really nice apartment with air conditioning and a kitchenette for a couple hundred bucks a month. And you can get certified dirt cheap. I was supposed to get my Instructor Cert as well, but I ended up getting dengue fever and had to leave a month early. But it was seriously a BLAST. You should definitely go, and if you have a chance stay for a month or so because the plane ticket is really the biggest cost. Housing is dirt cheap and food is the same price as in America. It's worth it to stay for a longer period of time since cost of living is so low.
Wow!! I'm so jealous!! =..( That is a bargain!! Is it easy/safe to get there once you get off the plane? Gosh, what all I could do if I didn't have a small child. I love him, but dang....
Scubasmitten is offline  
post #64 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 04:43 PM
Trained
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Phoenix Arizona
Posts: 5,257
• Horses: 5
As a person with anxiety i fully understand the issue. i have not started taking formal lessons (also English) untill recently but i have owned my horse for 5 years. the only time a horse gets hit in the face by me is if the are trying to bite me or hit me in the head with theirs. kicking is only reserved for a attempted kick at me. other wise i would rather not lay a mean hand on a horse. remember it sounds mean but horses bite and kick each other ALL the time. a hit or kick from us is nothing compared to another horse so its not mean when deserving.

the trainer i found is confident yet quiet. she talks me though everything i am doing and lets me know what im doing wrong or right. if my legs or hands are out of place she has me stops and positions my where im supposed to be so im not trying to figure it out on my own. you need a quiet focused teacher who's entire life is not ONLY JUST lessons. someone who is kind and not trying to either push you though to make a quick buck or force you to try to be the next champion.
KigerQueen is offline  
post #65 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 04:58 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Acadianartist View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaBreezy View Post
About the whole guilt thing - yes, our horses are born into domestication/society, but aren't people born into it as well? I don't know about you, but I don't dream about running off into the wild and hunting/gathering to survive. I live in a house, I work to benefit society, and I accept the way things are. The same goes for domesticated horses, if you think about it. They aren't wishing they could run free in the wild because life on the farm is all they know; it's their whole world. And these horses, if treated respectfully, are happy. It is not hard to tell if a horse is happy - if he looks healthy and socializes well with both humans and other horses, then he is a happy being.

Does he have to work? Yes. But so do we. And honestly, I feel like a working horse is much happier than a 'pasture puff', or a horse who sits around day in and day out. A job keeps their minds active and gives them purpose. Just like how unemployed people get depressed, I think it works both ways.
This is worth repeating. Lots of other people have addressed this and I think it's great that you brought it up OP, because it shows you've put some thought into how the horse feels.

If I opened the door to my horse's barn and opened up all the paddocks, he MIGHT decide to leave (though probably not), but he'd be coming back real soon for his rations! Horses sometimes escape or dump their rider on a trail and guess where they head? The barn. Not some utopian horse fairyland.

It would be like saying it's cruel that we keep dogs. Our dogs do not want to leave us or the comforts of our homes!

Yes, the horse has a job. Although in our case - and in most cases - that's a pretty posh job. Carrying around an 11 year old for 45 minutes three times a week is hardly slave labour. In exchange, they have our love, care, food, shelter and medical attention. The rest of the time they get to hang out with a herd in a pasture and just be horses. And my horse actually likes being ridden and follows me around the paddock! He wants to do things with me because he equates me with good things.

Which is why what you're describing regarding some of what's happening at the barn is so offensive. Hitting a horse in a situation that doesn't warrant such an extreme reaction is certainly not going to enhance your relationship. I want my horse to respect me, but also to have a positive association that comes with spending time with me. This is why a good coach or trainer always ends on a positive note! You don't ever want a horse, or a rider, to go away thinking they were horrible. It's basic psychology that applies to both humans and horses.

I've slapped my horse on the chest with a lead rope to remind him of his ground manners and have poked him/bumped him on the nose when he was acting like he was going to bite. But never hard enough to actually hurt him. Teaching a child to hit a horse in the face is really irresponsible since children have more difficulty controlling their impulses than adults and the last thing you want to do is hit a horse out of anger.

You do need to leave this barn. Can you just tell this instructor that you're taking a break from riding while you look for another barn? Can you tell her you'd like to try a different discipline? I did have one of my daughter's coaches stop talking to me after we decided to go with someone else, but I don't really care. You just have to find a way to tell her in a way that will be the least offensive. And if she takes it badly, well, life goes on.
Your response gave me a huge sigh of relief in that I am not alone in feeling that way or having those ideas of training/treatment. Same goes with training dogs...actually it applies to a lot of things when it comes to behavior and psychology. I think they should associate me with positive things, too which is why I wish I could spend more time around there so my horse wouldn't just associate me with just carrying me around and dealing with my annoying mistakes.

One of these days ( I want to be very experienced and knowledgable first), perhaps i can have my own horse, but I know thats an enormous responsibility--not something I take lightly. I refuse to say it will happen. Thats not a decision that should be made hastily or early on. It needs to be fair for the horse. I'll only do it if I think I can serve him/her well as an owner and have the time and means.

I don't really have to tell her anything. If I don't text her about lessons, she forgets about me. She did have me out to dinner and a movie with her and her horse friends and instructors a while back, but she stays busy and is adhd. She's not organized and works other jobs. She hasnt even replied to my last text confirming for this Saturday. I havent texted back to make sure because I'm unsure of whether to return. Heck, i may keep it that way then show up Saturday. She'll probably have another student and that will make it easier for me to say, ok I'm not dealing with this nonsense any more. You know? Decisions, decisions. I'm definitely looking into other places. She's never had anything good to say about any of them. One she said you didnt get whay you paid for, but isnt that the pot calling the kettle black, there? I don't know. I could be wrong. Thanks.
Acadianartist likes this.
Scubasmitten is offline  
post #66 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 05:02 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,766
• Horses: 0
Going back to the comment about the person saying sorry haven't fed the horses yet - that is OK if the horses are in pasture, if they are where there is no food available except what they are fed, it is definitely not OK.
whisperbaby22 is offline  
post #67 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 05:06 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by KigerQueen View Post
As a person with anxiety i fully understand the issue. i have not started taking formal lessons (also English) untill recently but i have owned my horse for 5 years. the only time a horse gets hit in the face by me is if the are trying to bite me or hit me in the head with theirs. kicking is only reserved for a attempted kick at me. other wise i would rather not lay a mean hand on a horse. remember it sounds mean but horses bite and kick each other ALL the time. a hit or kick from us is nothing compared to another horse so its not mean when deserving.

the trainer i found is confident yet quiet. she talks me though everything i am doing and lets me know what im doing wrong or right. if my legs or hands are out of place she has me stops and positions my where im supposed to be so im not trying to figure it out on my own. you need a quiet focused teacher who's entire life is not ONLY JUST lessons. someone who is kind and not trying to either push you though to make a quick buck or force you to try to be the next champion.
Yeah. I respond so much better with encouragement. Anxiety can be crippling and I didn't always have it. It started in my twenties and I have no clue why, but it's not something I can control. It's embarassing. I'm unable to do things I had no problem with before. It makes no sense! Trying to explain anxiety to someone who doesn't have it is pointless. When i say anxiety, i'm not just referring to a passing emotion or feeling. I mean an actual disorder that requires medication to control. Otherwise, its constant panic attacks. I agree. I need someone calm. I'm just not sure what to tell the next instructor. I don't want to put my instructor down to others around here, and I'm sure she will ask about my skill level/experience, then want to know why I left...and possibly worry that I'm just a judgemental problem student. :( Thanks.
KigerQueen likes this.
Scubasmitten is offline  
post #68 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 05:10 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whinnie View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scubasmitten View Post
They also think they're at a buffet every time I ride--which, technically I guess you could say is true ;) , but I end up having to pull their head up so they won't pull me down with them. They always seem so hungry and I feel like I'm interrupting their grub time. Once, the barn guy actually said he hadn't fed the horse yet and apologized. I was thinking, "Hmm...that can't make for a good ride, can it? Hungry, distracted horse?" I even considered asking for a later lesson time.
When you are working with a horse, either on the ground or in the saddle, he is AT WORK. You are the boss. He doesn't get to eat when he wants and go where he wants at the pace he wants. He has a job. You need to tell him what it is. Maybe if you can think of it in those terms, you won't feel so guilty or sorry for the horse you are riding. Horses will see what limits there are. Most will test those limits at least occasionally. If they find no limit and are allowed to do whatever, it is bad for you. If they can call the shots, they will. It takes timing and practice, but you can learn how to not let them put the head down to eat before they do it.

I hope you have good experiences with horses and you will, if you can change some of your beliefs about horse/human relationship. It will be hard, but it will be worth the effort.
Ok. Thanks!! I'll do my best to overcome it and think of it in those terms.
Scubasmitten is offline  
post #69 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 05:16 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reiningcatsanddogs View Post
I will say four things regarding the way the horses were treated:

1) Sometimes a horse does need to be disciplined, on occasion it does need to be big and bold.

2) At least at the barns I have ridden, it is the responsibility of a barn?s trainer to recognize and then retrain the little quirks they develop especially being ridden by beginning students every day worked out BEFORE the little problems become big ones that routinely require such radical ?fixes? as kicking the animal.

3) Horses do often ride differently for different riders and will take advantage especially of a beginner, first with little tests and then bigger ones. A perceptive instructor should be able to pick up on those little things, know which horses are most likely to do that, point the behaviors out to the rider and teach them how to correct it. This becomes more difficult in a group riding situation.

4) If there are a lot of big problems requiring frequent, large corrections with the lesson horses at a barn generally (as in not just one or two problem horses), then that reflects to the overall ineffectiveness of the trainer/instructors either in selecting proper lesson mounts for students, maintenance of the horses' training or techniques that are used and I would probably seek to learn somewhere else.
Ok! I wondered if she reacted to the horse the way she did because it embarassed her or was a reflection of her...like "how dare they disobey me and make me look foolish in front of a student" The next lesson will be the deciding factor, but I don't have high hopes given the response I'm getting on here (get the heck out of that barn!). But, we'll see. Everyone has made very good points. The situation sucks, but it is what it is. Thanks.
Scubasmitten is offline  
post #70 of 118 Old 04-15-2016, 05:29 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreamcatcher Arabians View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scubasmitten View Post
I'm going with inappropriate being that I had just led him to the arena and he decided 'Nope! Not going any further.' when she kicked him, slapped him in the face and yelled 'move your GD a$$!" I will give it one more lesson and see how it goes.

I can understand she may have wanted me to adjust and try posting on my own (second posting lesson), but I do still wish she'd have informed me earlier, giving me time to end the lesson on a good note and/or an opportunity to correct it.

I feel my comment sharing my concerns/feelings on horses is healthier than bottling them up and letting them fester...and it allows people to give me an alternate perspective. I realize it is probably considered by some to be silly or ignorant, but it can't be terribly uncommon with beginners? I know. I'm a worry wart! Thank you and best wishes.

#1. I agree, that sounds inappropriate. If I saw her treat my horse that way, we'd have had some words. I promise you, I'd have verbally belly kicked her and verbally given her a face slap and let her know that I'd better never see or hear her treating my horse like that again.

I get that you don't want the horse balking about going into an arena or through a gate or just refusing to move, but there are better methods for actually correcting the undesired behavior. You might end up giving the horse a crack on the butt with a crop or lunge whip if he's really stubborn, but I reserve the stronger methods for a really aggressive horse. I bet she talks to her kids that way too, not good.

#2 Her communication skills seem to be lacking. Not surprising, most of us communicate better with horses than we do other people. If you're going to be a trainer or instructor you need to work on it though.

Now that you've had that lesson and found it not to your liking and that you want more feedback earlier, you need to tell her what you want/need from her to help you. The communication thing is a 2 way street.

#3. Honestly? I don't know if it's all that common with beginners, I haven't really dealt with people new to the whole horse thing in quite a while. I do know that just about every horse person has heard something similar from a PETA or AR person right before the verbal attacks and character assassinations begin just because we own horses. So it's become kind of a 'knee jerk' reaction when someone says something about feeling guilty. Kind of, "Oh GREAT, here we go again. Next I'm going to get told just owning them, putting them in a barn overnight is cruel and I'm a horrible person and how dare I get after Pookie for kicking me because after all, he's just a delicate little petunia.........". So forgive us for that, since that's not where you were going.

Feral horses, running free, on unlimited range land, being fat, sassy and healthy, is a lovely dream and someday it would be nice if it could be true. The reality is, they mostly don't live all that long. An injury that we can fix and the horse go on to be healthy and sound, will kill them in the wild. It's eat or be eaten, run or be run down.

Our horses live on managed pastures, get round bales or square bales when the drought comes to ruin their grazing, get shelter from really bad weather and generally have hot & cold running servants, US.

My horses come to the back gate of the barn when the weather turns ugly. They absolutely don't want to be out on the "prairie" and get pelted on the butt with hail stones. The first crack of thunder sends them running for the barn.

When a human goes out in to their pastures, the horses all come up for social time and a scratch. They like, trust us and pretty much live a life without fear. I don't think they'd volunteer to trade places. In return for all this care and work, we ask them to give us a ride 2 or 3 times a week, for a couple of hours at a time. I wish I could get someone to take care of me for that little work! LOL!

#1 Totally agree....but I've had my fill of confrontations lately and the flight response is looking rather attractive! Inside, I wanted to say something. Believe me. Sigh...

#2 Yes, I think you're right. I tend to try and figure out what happened to a person in their past to cause the behavior. For instance, I once had a male manager who would always boss me around. Found out it was because it was the only place he had authority and it made him feel better. His wife cotrolled him and he did not have the upper hand. (Not saying he should have, but you know..just making a point).

#3 Ugh! Don't compare me to PETA! Lmao!! Yeah, that's not me at all. Thank you for realizing that. I'm not passing any judgement. Those people are crazy! I mainly just felt guilty for expecting the horse to put up with me. I don't think keeping them is cruel but I often wonder what they want and what would make them happy, rather than putting my need before theirs. Its hard to explain. I know. I'm a dang mess! Thanks!
Scubasmitten is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Trainers killing a sport? trainer wars? clannish behavior is is worth it? Nell J Horse Training 6 01-28-2014 02:31 AM
Is this normal trainer behavior? BaileyJo Horse Talk 7 02-12-2013 07:24 PM
Questionable saddle Saddlebag Horse Tack and Equipment 6 04-08-2012 11:40 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome