I'm going with inappropriate being that I had just led him to the arena and he decided 'Nope! Not going any further.' when she kicked him, slapped him in the face and yelled 'move your GD a$$!" I will give it one more lesson and see how it goes.
I can understand she may have wanted me to adjust and try posting on my own (second posting lesson), but I do still wish she'd have informed me earlier, giving me time to end the lesson on a good note and/or an opportunity to correct it.
I feel my comment sharing my concerns/feelings on horses is healthier than bottling them up and letting them fester...and it allows people to give me an alternate perspective. I realize it is probably considered by some to be silly or ignorant, but it can't be terribly uncommon with beginners? I know. I'm a worry wart! Thank you and best wishes.
#1. I agree, that sounds inappropriate. If I saw her treat my horse that way, we'd have had some words. I promise you, I'd have verbally belly kicked her and verbally given her a face slap and let her know that I'd better never see or hear her treating my horse like that again.
I get that you don't want the horse balking about going into an arena or through a gate or just refusing to move, but there are better methods for actually correcting the undesired behavior. You might end up giving the horse a crack on the butt with a crop or lunge whip if he's really stubborn, but I reserve the stronger methods for a really aggressive horse. I bet she talks to her kids that way too, not good.
#2 Her communication skills seem to be lacking. Not surprising, most of us communicate better with horses than we do other people. If you're going to be a trainer or instructor you need to work on it though.
Now that you've had that lesson and found it not to your liking and that you want more feedback earlier, you need to tell her what you want/need from her to help you. The communication thing is a 2 way street.
#3. Honestly? I don't know if it's all that common with beginners, I haven't really dealt with people new to the whole horse thing in quite a while. I do know that just about every horse person has heard something similar from a PETA or AR person right before the verbal attacks and character assassinations begin just because we own horses. So it's become kind of a 'knee jerk' reaction when someone says something about feeling guilty. Kind of, "Oh GREAT, here we go again. Next I'm going to get told just owning them, putting them in a barn overnight is cruel and I'm a horrible person and how dare I get after Pookie for kicking me because after all, he's just a delicate little petunia.........". So forgive us for that, since that's not where you were going.
Feral horses, running free, on unlimited range land, being fat, sassy and healthy, is a lovely dream and someday it would be nice if it could be true. The reality is, they mostly don't live all that long. An injury that we can fix and the horse go on to be healthy and sound, will kill them in the wild. It's eat or be eaten, run or be run down.
Our horses live on managed pastures, get round bales or square bales when the drought comes to ruin their grazing, get shelter from really bad weather and generally have hot & cold running servants, US.
My horses come to the back gate of the barn when the weather turns ugly. They absolutely don't want to be out on the "prairie" and get pelted on the butt with hail stones. The first crack of thunder sends them running for the barn.
When a human goes out in to their pastures, the horses all come up for social time and a scratch. They like, trust us and pretty much live a life without fear. I don't think they'd volunteer to trade places. In return for all this care and work, we ask them to give us a ride 2 or 3 times a week, for a couple of hours at a time. I wish I could get someone to take care of me for that little work! LOL!