Questionable trainer behavior....help! - Page 9 - The Horse Forum
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post #81 of 118 Old 04-16-2016, 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Scubasmitten View Post
Well...being that my 4-year-old was present and the girl's mother wasn't, I didn't do anything. Luckily, my child did not see it. Lord knows i'm always griping at my son to be kind to animals. I'd like to tell my friend, but I'm afraid it'd fall on deaf ears or cause a problem because I believe she hits the horses as well. I carry her daughter from school to the farm on mondays.
It isn't your job to correct someone else's 7 year old. You handled it appropriately. The only other thing I could think to do is maybe set a good example by petting the horse and saying something positive to encourage nicer treatment.
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post #82 of 118 Old 04-16-2016, 08:50 AM
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It's complicated. It's my husband's coworker's wife and daughter. She's already mean. Mama is too! The daughter said my back seat either smelled like a trash can or my son farted! Lol!! Then proceeded to scale a mountain of horse manure for fun. What logic. I just need to get out of there.
I would separate yourself from these people. Time to go elsewhere and not haul her kids around if you feel they are mean or try and set a good example to help them learn a new behavior.
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post #83 of 118 Old 04-16-2016, 10:16 AM
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I am sorry to hear that something you started for your enjoyment has soured. Hopefully you can find another barn where you will feel more comfortable. When you do, you can just say that you need to take a break from your lessons for awhile. Why is no ones business and what you do on your own time (like take lessons somewhere else) isn't either. There should not be a problem getting out of transporting the child if you give the parents some advance notice
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post #84 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 01:19 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks. It's a big bummer. Today's lesson was alright. She didn't hit or kick the horse, just mentioned that she pitied him due to my beginner riding skills. I got some "what are you doing"s and "yes, only post on the rails you WANT to (sarcasm!)" from my instructor and very few "good job"s, but I'll honestly admit I've been under a ton of stress and didn't get adequate rest (2.5 hrs), so that was probably on me. =( Makes me feel like such a failure, though...and I hate that. I wonder if anyone else felt that way in the beginning. If my nerves didn't overtake me, it'd be a lot easier! I felt like I got the hang of posting the two point during trot ( I believe that's what I'm doing. Honestly, she throws a new term in ever lesson without explanation) for a brief time then I lost my rhythm and the saddle smacked my butt sending me bouncing every step.

I still think she's a good person and decent teacher (at times), but I'm not sure she's the right fit for me right now. She won't be there next week and I'm really tempted to just try a lesson somewhere else and see if it makes a difference. It feels selfish, but if it helps it helps.
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post #85 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 01:21 AM Thread Starter
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I am sorry to hear that something you started for your enjoyment has soured. Hopefully you can find another barn where you will feel more comfortable. When you do, you can just say that you need to take a break from your lessons for awhile. Why is no ones business and what you do on your own time (like take lessons somewhere else) isn't either. There should not be a problem getting out of transporting the child if you give the parents some advance notice
Sorry. That bit I just posted was in response to you but I goofed up. Time for bed!!!!
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post #86 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 01:38 AM
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TBH, get out of there, give notice about dropping the child off if it no longer fits for you, you were doing them a favour not taking responsibility for the child.

She may be a nice person, and she probably does teach people to ride quite well. But she is not a good teacher. A good teacher leaves the student with a sense of learning or achieving something and wanting to learn more, not feeling like a loser. Put it this way, how would you feel if your childs maths or english teacher taught this way? Jibes and sarcasm just get people wanting to hide and not stand out to get more verbal abuse. If you introduce new things, you explain them and/or demonstrate them.

It may not be your job to correct someone elses 7 year old, but personally I don't care if it is someones kid or another adult, if i see abuse im going to say something, especially if i am the only one to see it. Burying your head in the sand just means that pony is going to cop it again at some stage. Even just "hoy, don't do that".
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post #87 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 12:13 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by ShirtHotTeez View Post
TBH, get out of there, give notice about dropping the child off if it no longer fits for you, you were doing them a favour not taking responsibility for the child.

She may be a nice person, and she probably does teach people to ride quite well. But she is not a good teacher. A good teacher leaves the student with a sense of learning or achieving something and wanting to learn more, not feeling like a loser. Put it this way, how would you feel if your childs maths or english teacher taught this way? Jibes and sarcasm just get people wanting to hide and not stand out to get more verbal abuse. If you introduce new things, you explain them and/or demonstrate them.

It may not be your job to correct someone elses 7 year old, but personally I don't care if it is someones kid or another adult, if i see abuse im going to say something, especially if i am the only one to see it. Burying your head in the sand just means that pony is going to cop it again at some stage. Even just "hoy, don't do that".
I'm hoping to find a teacher out there that doesn't make me feel horrible about myself. Lately, I'm tempted to quit and that makes me sad. I think my nerves are so bad because of her. I'm not afraid of riding the horse. I'm afraid of being berated and failing. Vicious circle? Nerves from teacher cause me to ride poorly---->teacher makes me feel bad for riding poorly---->Rides poorly and nervous forever. Round and round we go.
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post #88 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 12:17 PM
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You will find a teacher that suits your ability and personality but you can go through a few to get there ! Persevere you can do it !
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post #89 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 12:17 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by churumbeque View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scubasmitten View Post
It's complicated. It's my husband's coworker's wife and daughter. She's already mean. Mama is too! The daughter said my back seat either smelled like a trash can or my son farted! Lol!! Then proceeded to scale a mountain of horse manure for fun. What logic. I just need to get out of there.
I would separate yourself from these people. Time to go elsewhere and not haul her kids around if you feel they are mean or try and set a good example to help them learn a new behavior.
I'm looking into trying a lesson elsewhere. Yesterdays lesson was ok. She did make fun of me and she made me feel like *I* was the abusive one, by having beginner riding skill and not having a grasp of posting yet (day 3 of trying to learn it, but we took a week off in the middle). She kept saying poor horse and that made me feel awful. I gave him lots of scratches and brushing and treats before I left. :(
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post #90 of 118 Old 04-17-2016, 12:19 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Rainaisabelle View Post
You will find a teacher that suits your ability and personality but you can go through a few to get there ! Persevere you can do it !
Thank you. I'm going to try. She's just left me so anxious. I get nervous every time I drive out there. I hope that doesn't impact my progression elsewhere.
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