For the past two summers I have been working at a summer camp with the horses. During these two summers I have fallen in love with an old grey horse
, I might even go as far as to say that he is my heart horse... I have been riding since I was very young, but I have never owned horses and between the ages of around 14-19 I took a hiatus from horses. Last summer I very seriously considered purchasing one but in the end decided not to because my parents were very unsupportive (keep in mind I was 20 at the time, and the horse would have been my sole financial responsibility, but my mom was still very against the idea). Well, I spent the past year riding for a competitive team at my university, taking lessons, and all around just becoming a lot more invested in my riding and being around horses in general. And then, at the end of the summer at my camp job, something pretty disastrous happened. I'll spare you the details, all you really need to know is that it affirmed for me that I will never work there again, and I became desperate to try and bail my favorite horse out. Obviously I cannot buy 54 horses, but I don't know how I could live with myself knowing I abandoned my favorite horse... This horse has taught me so much and given me some much needed confidence, I almost feel like I owe him something.
I tend to be a somewhat nervous rider. I'm a fairly anxious person in general and I have leased horses in the past and quit riding them simply because they made me a little uncomfortable. Even camp horses have made me uncomfortable despite the fact that I know fully well how to handle them and discipline them, I get nervous. I don't place well on my IHSA team because we ride a new horse every time, and I have a hard time feeling comfortable on a horse I've never ridden before. I get nervous and tense. This horse is different. Yes, he's a horse. He still has moments where he spooks, times where any other horse would make me nervous, but on him I feel comfortable. I trust this horse, I acknowledge that he is still a prey animal and still has the potential to be unsafe, but I don't have a constant uneasiness when I am with him. We are just two friends hanging out.
Obviously I am having a hard time balancing my logical side and my emotional side. I'm applying to veterinary school right now, I'm a full time student, I don't work all that much, and I really don't have a ton of free time. But on the other hand, I feel like this horse is a gem and I can't let him slip through the cracks. As horse people who I'm sure, have all had special horses who have 'spoken' to you in your pasts, what kind of advice or recommendations do you have. Will I regret it for my entire life if I load him on a trailer in 5 short weeks to go back to the terrible leasing facility he came from and never see him again, or will I regret it more if I purchase him?