trying to develop relationship with neighbors horses - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 31 Old 12-02-2018, 08:06 AM
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Originally Posted by halosls518 View Post
I'm fairly shy so I actually haven't made much effort to reach out to the owner (plus as I mentioned, she works a lot) but I have talked to her a couple times and in fact, she invited me in one day to meet a new foal during this past summer. Maybe this is a sign I need to get out of my comfort zone and find a way to talk to her more :)
...
Thanks for the input - I really appreciate it!
As a fellow shy person, I say, YES, take that as a sign! It's worth it to get out your comfort zone for horses!

Also, I am impressed that you took a lot of fairly negative feedback in such a positive way. I really hope you are able to develop a relationship with these horses. If she lets you, even just standing out in her pasture with them will help build a relationship. Oh, but if I were going to do that, I'd wear a helmet, because horses are big, strong, and sometimes unpredictable.
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post #22 of 31 Old 12-02-2018, 12:22 PM
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You absolutely should. I would be so impressed if someone actually ASKED me if they could do XYZ. Please do! I know that if I were your neighbour I would feel great knowing that another pair of eyes are keeping an eye on mine. If a horse was injured or couldn't get back up... take her number so if you ever see anything out of whack you can contact her. While I don't get involved with horses that aren't mine at a yard I'm paranoid and always stick my nose in their stable just to check everything is ok :P
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post #23 of 31 Old 12-02-2018, 07:43 PM
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What a great question! I would stress if someone fed my horses without my knowledge, but love it when people stop when I'm out with them (we live on a pretty busy road and this happens frequently) and ask me questions. (Also, I have to agree with everyone who says they might be getting regular grooming - I spend back-breaking hours washing my Clydesdale's white feathers on their legs, to come out 10 minutes later to see filthy creatures where my pretty girls used to be :( ) I hope you do connect with the owner...I know it's hard to do a "cold call" - putting your offer of friendship out there, but since she's already invited you to view the foal, I think you should go for it! You'll probably learn so much from her, and get some hands-on time with horses at the same time :) Please let us know how it goes.
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post #24 of 31 Old 12-04-2018, 03:58 AM
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I would not pick the grass. You do not know if it has had weed /grass killer sprayed on it. Always ask the owner first as others have stated. Also, with a boss horse, they could injure a horse they are chasing off.
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post #25 of 31 Old 12-04-2018, 08:47 AM
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Originally Posted by halosls518 View Post
With it being the holiday season, the idea to bring her something as a small gift would be an easy way for me to purposely talk to her and ask her if she minded if I treated her horses - thank you for that thought.
I'd tell her that you always wished you had horses, and if it were okay for you to come over and brush one of them at a time of mutual convenience. You'll find it much more rewarding than just reaching over the fence with a cookie, there is very little risk, you'll help out the owner, and the horse generally has a good time getting groomed without having to go to work.
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post #26 of 31 Old 12-05-2018, 07:00 PM
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Oh boy. LOL I was The Little Girl they couldn't run off from a horse breeding ranch as a kid. I knew all the brood mares, the studs, the yearlings, the ones in training... and I had permission to have the run of the place and give snacks. But that was the 80s... and y'know. If you got bitten or kicked - well. You were warned. Too bad.

So I had a healthy respect for the horses, but was nuts about them. I wouldn't trade that childhood for the world.

Now I own horses, and from an owner's perspective - none of mine have any trouble eating anything - I share chicken strips with Trigger, slices of cheddar cheese with Sarge, Superman loves apples, and they'll all beg for carrots, so I buy four or five bags at at time at the grocery store.

That said - I caught my husband trying to shovel three trash bags of FRESH GRASS CLIPPINGS over the fence at them and had to beat him in public for it. No, that's not the same thing as hay at all! Not at all!

So. I provide the snacks, or ask the neighborhood folks who like to drop by and say hi to the horses when they're hanging around the fence to bring apples or carrots and do watch the fingers!

Anyway - As an owner, speaking for myself - I LOVE it when someone asks if they can meet my horses, talk to them, help groom them, tack up, or even ride. I'm not much beyond a beginner myself, but it's like introducing someone to my kids or grandkids. I'm delighted to have people ask to be around them, though I do tend to be highly selective on who gets to ride who and when and where and why. Usually that's a hard no unless it's a planned trip and it's someone I know quite well.

I hope you and your neighbor hit it off and who knows? It's shown that people who participate in equestrian activities tend to develop more confidence and become more outgoing. Maybe that could be you?

"We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that death will tremble to take us."
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post #27 of 31 Old 12-07-2018, 03:06 PM
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I would definitely try to get to know your neighbor first. I wouldn't feed anymore treats either. Ask if you can pet them/feed them treats/etc. It's best that the owner gets to know you first.

To be honest, I think if you start talking to the owner and right away bring up their horses...that would be a GREAT icebreaker! I'm sure she would love to talk to you about their names, personalities, etc. :) I know I love talking about my horse!

Also don't mind the dirt- it's hard to keep a horse super clean in the winter. I groom Promise all the time, but once she's turned out - bam, she rolls!

You never know what can happen, who knows, you may be able to get on the other side of that fence someday! Talk to your neighbor!
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post #28 of 31 Old 12-07-2018, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by halosls518 View Post
I recently moved to a place where, across the way from me, a neighbor has small acreage with a bunch of horses that live outside. I've never been around horses but love animals and I'm really excited to have horses so nearby. I've started bringing apples and carrots to horses once a week or so, and a couple of them have begun to recognize me right away and wander over to the fence as I near them. I barely know my neighbor at all, I have met her only a couple times
I am curious: Why do you think it is acceptable to feed animals that are NOT YOURS?


Do you have a dog? Or cat? A fish? Would you be happy if a STRANGER came onto your property and fed your animals without your consent or knowledge, when you were not around?


You need to get permission from the owner to interact with (and feed) the horses. They are not yours.


I would be livid if I were your neighbor.

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post #29 of 31 Old 12-08-2018, 08:32 AM
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@beau159 are you not seeing all replies? It happens to me fairly frequently. OP came back and responded to this in post 18. She does have dogs and feels the same about her animals.



OP - as the owner invited you to see her new foal then there's your invitation. Bring a holiday treat to her and get out of your comfort zone. While most of us have concerns about people feeding our animals over fences (along with in some cases inviting themselves on into the pasture for pets, grooming and even riding) we can get pretty livid. Alternately if you were to approach us and ask about our horses we'd be happy to have you come meet them on our terms.
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post #30 of 31 Old 12-10-2018, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by QtrBel View Post
@beau159 are you not seeing all replies? It happens to me fairly frequently. OP came back and responded to this in post 18. She does have dogs and feels the same about her animals.

I have no idea but I somehow clearly missed that. Whoops! My bad. Glad the OP agrees.

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It is not enough to know how to ride; one must know how to fall.
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