Very Jealous Horse - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 8 Old 10-08-2015, 01:28 PM Thread Starter
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Very Jealous Horse

Hey there, wondering if anyone has any pointers for me as I'm pretty new to horses, we have a gelding named Bubba and a donkey named Monty, I recently bought a mare named Belle, it was love at first sight for the two as Belle came from a home where the other horses picked on her and wouldn't let her eat and Bubba is usually a gentle giant. Bubba is only green broke and Belle is fully broke. My dad has an acreage where we keep them, I don't live there so just go there when I can. I have gone there a few times in the pasture to try and bond with Belle as I just bought her a month ago but Bubba hates it he drives Belle and Monty away and tries to herd me by cutting me off from them. I love Bubba but I would like to be able to see Belle too, she is afraid of him if I am down there because she knows Bubba does not want her near me so it is so hard to catch her to go for a ride because she tries to avoid getting driven away by Bubba.The time before last I was there I tied Bubba to a post because he was being extra pushy and Belle came right to me and it was the first time I really got to pet her and scratch her because she wasn't afraid. Bubba literally lost his s*** and did not like being tied to the post at all. I didn't just leave him there before I went to Belle I gave him apples and brushed him down and gave him lots of attention. After I spent some time with Belle, I felt bad for Bubba so I let him off and I was petting them both and he lunged at Belle while I was in between him and basically shoulder checked me. I didn't get hurt but it was pretty freaky and could have been a lot worse. I went there a few days later and he was still mad at me because he wouldn't let me pet his face and his ears were back so I tried to just spend time with him and pet him and at the end he didn't seem too mad. I'm just not sure how to correct this, I do not feel safe because Bubba will randomly charge at Monty or Belle if I am down in the pasture with him. Any ideas on how to tackle this would be great, I wasn't sure if tying him up is ok or if it's just making it worse for him? I was thinking maybe getting the whip and anytime he shows aggression to the others just whip the ground, please let me know what you would do and exactly what you would do, IE if you would use the whip how would you use it, thanks so much for reading and can't wait for some replies! :)
CanterburyBelle is offline  
post #2 of 8 Old 10-08-2015, 01:46 PM
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Nope. Not allowed! If I am giving attention to one, everyone else has to keep their distance until I say it is their turn…period.

Bring a big lunge whip into the pasture with you and if they begin to approach while you are giving attention to Belle, crack it a few times in their direction and drive them away. If they don’t move off, do what you need to do to get the message across.

You may have to do this several times over a few days until they understand the new rules you are enforcing. Also make sure that whoever else is helping you take care of the horses doesn’t inadvertently undo the new rules by not enforcing them consistently.

Don’t worry about hurting their feelings, some things just are and they need to accept that.



“You spend your whole life with horses and just about the time you think you have them figured out, a horse comes along that tells you otherwise.” –quote from my very wizened trainer


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post #3 of 8 Old 10-08-2015, 01:51 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reiningcatsanddogs View Post
Nope. Not allowed! If I am giving attention to one, everyone else has to keep their distance until I say it is their turn…period.

Bring a big lunge whip into the pasture with you and if they begin to approach while you are giving attention to Belle, crack it a few times in their direction and drive them away. If they don’t move off, do what you need to do to get the message across.

You may have to do this several times over a few days until they understand the new rules you are enforcing. Also make sure that whoever else is helping you take care of the horses doesn’t inadvertently undo the new rules by not enforcing them consistently.

Don’t worry about hurting their feelings, some things just are and they need to accept that.

Ok thank you so much, I figured I should do that but didn't want to make things worse, I have tried telling him to "GET!" and he will back off but that makes him angry at me and again I wasn't sure if that was ok or not. So I will use the whip from now on and he will have to get used to it. As for other people, he seems to only do this to me, I'm not even sure why as my dad and step mom have spent a lot more time with him than me I assume. I tell them what he does when I am down there and they are shocked, but I think it may be because I am usually down there alone and they are usually 2+ so more than one person to give attention to maybe? I also think he is mad at me because I am always the one who takes Belle away from him to ride her. Thank you again for replying though, I will feel better knowing that it is ok to use the whip in this situation! :)
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post #4 of 8 Old 10-08-2015, 02:14 PM
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I don't see this as a jealousy thing, I see it as a lack of respect on Bubba's part, he does not see you as someone to respect and as he sees himself as the most dominant in the group (you included in this group) he drives the others off so he can have the most attention, treats etc.
I think you need to work with Bubba and let him know you are in charge. After he has some respect for you and your wishes then you should be able to handle any horse there and tell him to keep his distance when you are doing that. It can be dangerous getting between two horses if one is not respecting you and is agressive to the other horse. Use a whip if needed to get the respect you need. You won't hurt Bubba's feelings as horses don't think in those terms, he will need to accept your authority and that's what you want.
Belle will soon learn that when you are there she doesn't have to worry about Bubba because you are in control of the situation and will make him mind.
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post #5 of 8 Old 10-08-2015, 03:21 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodhaven View Post
I don't see this as a jealousy thing, I see it as a lack of respect on Bubba's part, he does not see you as someone to respect and as he sees himself as the most dominant in the group (you included in this group) he drives the others off so he can have the most attention, treats etc.
I think you need to work with Bubba and let him know you are in charge. After he has some respect for you and your wishes then you should be able to handle any horse there and tell him to keep his distance when you are doing that. It can be dangerous getting between two horses if one is not respecting you and is agressive to the other horse. Use a whip if needed to get the respect you need. You won't hurt Bubba's feelings as horses don't think in those terms, he will need to accept your authority and that's what you want.
Belle will soon learn that when you are there she doesn't have to worry about Bubba because you are in control of the situation and will make him mind.

Yes that makes a lot of sense I never even thought about how Belle would come along in this situation, I can't wait to try it over the next while. It sucks not feeling comfortable with them, especially because Bubba used to be so nice and gentle before. Thank you for replying it really helps!!
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post #6 of 8 Old 10-08-2015, 08:49 PM
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All horses will get over the "nice and gentle" mindset when they learn they can boss a human around. And they don't "get mad" at you, they are horses and they do not think like that, doing that in the wild with a herd would get them eaten.
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post #7 of 8 Old 10-11-2015, 10:44 AM
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I don't see this as so much of a jealousy thing either. Bubba has established order in the pasture and things are probably fine until you appear. He is used to being the one that gets all the attention and I think he sees Belle as his mare. It is a similar situation to the one I had when we had our stallion turned out with the brood mares except he had no problem with me or my parents approaching the mares. Let strangers be near the pasture and the mares got herded away and he would pace the fence line threatening them. Belle understands this since she won't come near you until he's tied up. Bubba has to learn that the dynamics change when you are there. If he is a green horse, he needs to be worked with and learn that you are in charge. If you are more comfortable tying him to work with Belle do that and let him fuss. Then get back to him and perhaps do a little ground work while he has an attitude and make him tow the line. I see this problem as a green horse reverting to his natural instincts and not respecting your authority.
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post #8 of 8 Old 10-11-2015, 04:27 PM
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I'm so NOT an expert that I hesitate to even post here... but I've been in the same situation, and it was easier to work through than I ever expected. My friend's mare is "the boss" - full of personality, very people oriented, and VERY convinced no one else should get any attention but her. She would charge me, bite my horse even on lead, etc.

It didn't take anything as extreme as a whip for me. I found all I need is a little something in my hand. I had 10" of leather rein left over from shortening mine. I bound them together, and now just a firm "HEY", and a tap (just a tap) on her chest will back her off. We still play the game and I have to be constantly watchful for a stealth attack, but her heart isn't in it now... so it almost is just that - a game. Anyway, my mare is much more at ease now when I'm around, knowing she's protected. It was an interesting lesson in herd dynamics for this newbie...

That said, I'm sure the advice by others with more experience is far more valid - and working him is probably a more profound solution. I was just amazed at how little a change in my behavior it actually took to establish a change in her's.
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