When Dad says "No!" - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
 74Likes
Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #21 of 40 Old 12-31-2016, 04:06 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Gulf States
Posts: 108
• Horses: 0
Kudos to you for replying and explaining. Makes my heart smile. Brings it all back to your age, the responsibility that comes with and commitment. Even if you feel you are ready, he may not. He may feel that as a family he does not want the lifestyle change that comes with especially if he has had a horse of his own. He perhaps has a better understanding than you think. Save your pennies so that when the time comes whether sooner or later you have a nice fat cushion. Several have lined out costs. I mentioned deed restrictions in the form of rules set by a homeowners association. There is also insurance considerations. Besides housing there are costs and insurance involved in trailering to and from lessons if the horse is kept at home. Boarding makes things easier care wise as if the family is out of town then if the horse is not full care it is usually not hard to find someone to trade duties with as in you feed for me this week and I'll feed yours for you when you go out of town. Or you could simply pay someone to do it. Add to that the cost if the entire family gets involved. Can't all ride one horse. What about competing? I have a friend that couldn't have kids so introduced her nieces to horses early and fed their addiction to the tune of thousands a year between tack, clothes for shows, trailering, hotels, fees, man all sorts of fees. Last year she spent at least $50k per niece. As they have gotten older it has gotten more expensive. better horses, more bling, nicer tack, larger fees. It ain't cheap to support a couple of national finalists and rodeo queens. She'd never take it back. She absolutely loves it and it was something her sister could have never afforded. You're determined enough that it'll happen, eventually just maybe not while you are under age.
Hotrodz4me is offline  
post #22 of 40 Old 12-31-2016, 04:13 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Oregon, PDX Area
Posts: 410
• Horses: 0
@Hotrodz4me good points! Thanks to a very nice book called "backyard korsekeeping" by Joan Fry, it touching on the housing bit. With permission I called up Zoning and Land Planning, and got a AKO for up to four horses on the property.
Thank you for understanding.

(I will not share she, for security reasons)

A dog may be man's best friend,
but the horse wrote history.
EmberScarlet is offline  
post #23 of 40 Old 12-31-2016, 04:25 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,484
• Horses: 2
Regardless, you sound quite young OP. Be thankful you get lessons, some kids/teens aren't even able to have lessons (due to time/money, or because their parents simply say "no"). Owning horses is MUCH more than just the money, especially if you are keeping them at home.

From your other posts you don't sound incredibly experienced with caring for horses, no offense meant, just what I am gathering from some of the questions you've asked. So, my answer here reflects some of the questions I have seen you asking on other threads, as well as this thread. Continue with lessons. Continue working at the stable you work at and learn everything you can. Horses are all individuals, so just because one horse cost X amount per year, does not mean horse #2 will cost the same per year (excluding any emergency vet visits). Not all horses will eat the same amount or the same things (even if they are the same breed). If your dad won't pay for a horse, that is his choice. Bottom line, my advice is this: Continue the lessons/work, stop asking your dad to buy you one, and with the job you have you can earn the money to pay for a lease horse (since you have enough to "contribute a lot" already, this should not be tough). Then, consider a lease at a reputable stable. Ask your coach if she has lease horses available (hers or a boarder/client's horse perhaps). Start with that.

Last edited by jaydee; 01-02-2017 at 02:47 PM. Reason: removed 'drama' from another thread. Please report when you suspect a fantasy poster
beverleyy is offline  
post #24 of 40 Old 12-31-2016, 04:52 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Oregon, PDX Area
Posts: 410
• Horses: 0
OK basically I've been told what needs to to said, Thank you all!

A dog may be man's best friend,
but the horse wrote history.

Last edited by jaydee; 01-01-2017 at 02:45 PM. Reason: members cannot close threads so comment removed
EmberScarlet is offline  
post #25 of 40 Old 12-31-2016, 05:13 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Gulf States
Posts: 108
• Horses: 0
Before you do what is an AKO? Am familiar with APA and stocking rates.....I know it will be a duh moment I am sure. Now that you checked PZ do you know if you have a homeowner's association that has rules and deed restrictions?
Hotrodz4me is offline  
post #26 of 40 Old 01-01-2017, 03:51 AM
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SW UK
Posts: 15,778
• Horses: 0
You sound very young. From your other posts you do not have the experience to have a horse at home. Continue riding with lessons, see if your father, in a couple of years, will lease you a horse. Learn, learn and learn gaining experience.

Try to look at it practically, if you, as a family go off in the camper every second weekend, in the summer, who is going to care for the horse whilst you are away?

As a child I ached for my own pony, I wouldn't have cared what size, couloir or temperament but my parents couldn't afford it and I had to be grateful for being allowed to ride every second week, all they could afford with my sister also riding the same. I asked for money for Christmas and birthdays, that was enough for me to get two courses of lessons (12 rides per course) which let me ride every week.

I do not regret it at all. I rode a multitude of animals, many of them remedials that no one else would ride. I had many injuries, I just bounced back. I spent every waking moment at the riding school which, in a severe freeze, meant dragging churns of water and bales of hay several miles to the fields.

As I said, learn all you can. Doesn't matter what your father earns, he will have expenses that many less earners will not have. The fact he had his own horse should make you realise he knows what is involved more than you.

Last edited by jaydee; 01-02-2017 at 02:46 PM. Reason: edited as OP's post was edited
Foxhunter is offline  
post #27 of 40 Old 01-01-2017, 09:49 AM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,287
• Horses: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hotrodz4me View Post
"I love having our horses, but it took me a while to get the mindset that I was confident to make the decision to change the entire lifestyle of our family to get our own horses."

THIS^^^ Bolding is mine. Even one horse whether boarded or on your property impacts EVERY family member. EVERY family member. Dad, mom, other sibs. If everyone is not on board then resentment builds.
Sooo much truth to this!! Unless you are an only child, it really isn't fair for your dad to invest the kind of money and time a horse takes just for one kid. I've seen it happen over and over. One horse crazy girl in the family gets a horse and the siblings not only suffer but become resentful and permanently angry. You can put a quad in a garage and ignore it any time you want but not so with a horse. Your siblings can be involved in all the ball & stick sports they want but it will never equal the money and time a horse takes.

I've watched many families fall apart completely when one child is favored over the rest, and it gets much worse when that one child starts showing.

I know that you feel that you can fully take care of a horse but the hard truth of it is that a teen rarely can take proper care of a horse without constant supervision and checking. Even the most responsible will "forget" and need reminding. A parent or responsible adult must be checking the situation constantly.

There is a girl of about 14 or so at the barn where I board. She "takes care of the horses" and does the chores when the barn owner can't be there. So far, in just the past month she has forgotten to fill the water troughs, so the horses went without water for 10 hours. Then she left a gate open and we ended up chasing 3 horses around a 200 acre property! I've seen this kind of thing happen for decades so I have to double check my students in everything they do or don't do.

I wouldn't nag so hard if I were you. You are extremely lucky to have lessons and be allowed to work at a barn. Tens of thousands of girls like you never even get a chance to touch a horse. This kind of constant pestering sometimes leads to the parent banning horses from your life completely-they flat out get sick of it.
Chasin Ponies is offline  
post #28 of 40 Old 01-01-2017, 10:25 AM
Trained
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 8,228
• Horses: 1
Have you considered asking your parents to lease a horse? They may be more inclined, given the lesser responsibility (since you've made it abundantly clear that money is not the issue xD)

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
Zexious is offline  
post #29 of 40 Old 01-01-2017, 11:39 AM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Oregon, PDX Area
Posts: 410
• Horses: 0
@Zexious that, actually that's what I've been asking the whole time really! xD the others don't seem to understand. When I said my property was zoned, I was talking about the horse coming over for a trail ride. But yeah, I don't think dad understands sponsoring OR leasing.

A dog may be man's best friend,
but the horse wrote history.
EmberScarlet is offline  
post #30 of 40 Old 01-01-2017, 04:22 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: west coast
Posts: 1,484
• Horses: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmberScarlet View Post
@Zexious that, actually that's what I've been asking the whole time really! xD the others don't seem to understand. When I said my property was zoned, I was talking about the horse coming over for a trail ride. But yeah, I don't think dad understands sponsoring OR leasing.
What exactly do you mean by sponsoring? Do you mean donating things to a horse at a rescue or?? Not a term I am familiar with, where I am from at least, so I'm having trouble picturing what you mean?

And again, I'm wondering about the QH you posted about in another thread when you said "we have a QH". Does your family already own horses and you want one for yourself?
beverleyy is offline  
Closed Thread

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome