The pressures of showing for a 13 year old - Page 5 - The Horse Forum
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post #41 of 43 Old 04-20-2018, 08:53 AM
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Louisiana
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I'm with the majority here. My mom was somewhat willing to help with shows, but she didn't horse. My parents bought my horse (not a high-dollar show horse) and paid to board her. When a friend was selling her old show saddle, they bought it for me. We did a few local shows a year, and my mom drove me there and watched. I was on my own for everything else, including training.

At my barn, there were four categories of riders. 1) There were those who just took a lesson a week on the school horses, no showing. I didn't know many of them very well. 2) There were those who owned their own horse, took a lesson a week, had the trainer ride the horse the other days, showed up and sat on the horse at the shows, and won the ribbons. I didn't like many of them very well. 3) There were those who had their own horse, rode with the trainer and on their own, and were capable of riding trails or whatever. They were my friends. 4) Then there was me. My parents didn't pay for lessons. If my horse was acting up, it was my problem to fix. On the trails, I was the one who could get everyone safely home. I didn't do as many shows as the other girls, and I didn't win much anyway.

It didn't bother me. I had more fun training my horse and acting like an idiot on trails. I learned to handle a lot on my own. I'm seeing a pattern here. A lot of other posters are like me. We're still riding. I wonder how many of those girls I knew with the perfectly trained horse and the high-end saddles and mommy/daddy/trainer to jump in and fix all their problems are still riding today, as adults?

I'm not saying lessons are bad. I wish I had more support like that when I was a kid. Acadian, I think you have a great balance between a supportive mom and trainer and a capable independent daughter. I do worry that those girls with the custom saddles and clinics every weekend will quit riding when the money stops flowing.
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post #42 of 43 Old 04-20-2018, 09:35 AM Thread Starter
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Location: Canada
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Thanks @mkmurphy81 - I like your categories, lol.

I am very reassured by all your stories of not having it all served to you on a silver platter. Makes me feel less guilty about not being able to do it for my daughter, knowing that in fact, I may be doing her a favor.
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post #43 of 43 Old 04-20-2018, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Acadianartist View Post
Thanks @mkmurphy81 - I like your categories, lol.

I am very reassured by all your stories of not having it all served to you on a silver platter. Makes me feel less guilty about not being able to do it for my daughter, knowing that in fact, I may be doing her a favor.
Kids would rather eat out of a carryout box and spend it with the ones they love than eat off a silver platter all by themselves. And there's nothing worse than an entitled brat (no matter HOW old that brat is) to be around. So, yes, IMO you're doing her a favor. You aren't owed anything just for being born.
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