Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: middle of nowhere
A friend's foster son acts a lot like this. He's had some trauma and has anger and trust issues. They're working closely with a therapist on helping him process and control his emotions and he is improving. His school also suggested he be tested for some developmental and behavioral screening. While it didn't appear when he was younger, he is showing some signs of behaviors on the autism spectrum, so that is something they are planning after the holidays.
His therapy has really helped him learn to express his feelings, and now they are working toward appropriate expression since he's better able to understand what he's feeling. For him, stress and anxiety and frustration were manifesting as 'rage and aggression' even though anger wasn't really what he was feeling.
His therapist also stressed that at age 8, he still needs consequences for inappropriate behavior. Allowing him to say awful things to people, or to hit and shove needs to be dealt with, no matter the cause.
A former coworker's autistic son is now in prison at age 18, because his family was told that since he was autistic, he did not need any consequences for his behavior. Well, now that he's aged out of youth facilities and treatment, she came home one day to find him chasing his younger sister through the house with an axe, and called the police for help. Her son then attacked the police officer. He's now in prison, which is not where he needs to be.
Many boys go through a period like this, and often, it's accompanied by saying inappropriate things-- usually heard on television or from another family member or playmate at school. Some of it is normal, but it sounds like you may want to get a professional involved here to develop a game plan for your son, work with him on accurately expressing his emotions, and make sure he's also not hearing what he's not supposed to do being said at school, home, or on tv. Having worked in the educational setting, most kids, especially boys, start mimicking what they're hearing. So if dad says "I wish he'd rip his head off" watching football on Sunday, or they hear it on tv, it's really no surprise when the kids start saying it to a classmate they are frustrated with.
Last edited by SilverMaple; 12-18-2019 at 05:40 PM.