I am untidy, always was and guess I always will be. When my room was a mess my mother would tell me to clean it. She didn't issue any warnings, she didn't nag, just ask once tell the second time with the warning that if things weren't cleared she would throw it out.
She would too!
Mum was the one who of you upset her would give the silent treatment, she did speak but not hold a conversation. She soon swung you round as it was so frustrating! So don't let you son win this one. Let him earn it, doing his chores should not entitle him to a new jacket, it should be chores plus some.
Something my sister and hubby did when their children wanted something was to tell them if they saved half they would pay the other half. That worked well and taught them the value of saving. All three have good jobs, they all save a certain amount each month and pay their own way.
Foxhunter, this was the policy in our home as well. Once my DH told our son that he had until Friday (this was issued on a Monday) to clean his room and put everything away, or he would find his room outside. Friday came and when DS got off the school bus, there were the entire contents of his room in the yard! Saw a slight smirk on his face like "yup, Dad actually meant it" and then he got busy bringing everything back in and putting it all away. Extreme, yup, but never had to do anything remotely like that again.
Both children had to earn part of what they wished for. They learned early between wants and needs. Needs we as parents provided. Wants, they had to earn part, unless I decided it was a no go to start with.
Parenting is the toughest and most important job on the face of this earth. I do like what someone posted about keeping the emotions on our part out of it. What works for one child, doesn't for the other. Always wished they came with an owners manual/guide when born, but that would be far too easy!
Farmpony, you have done a good job. He is respectful outside of the home. It's normal for them to be a$$e$ in the home, though we have to work with them to change that. I can vaguely remember being that age, not someplace I would to travel back to for sure.
My theory about teenage years is it helps us parents to prepare for their eventual departure to college. By the time comes we are glad to see their
Chin up, you will handle this, and in the end wonder how!