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Being plus sized and reality checks

18K views 79 replies 36 participants last post by  MN Tigerstripes 
#1 ·
I'm not sure how to word this one, so I'm jumping straight in. Be aware I am typing upset and angry, something I try not to do as a rule, but I beyond upset this morning, and ask you to help me make sense of it.

As a community of plus size riders should we be above criticisms? On this board we are a small part of a bigger board, so everyone who cares to can look and see and have input, and we know that some of it is not so positive.

My question is:

As long as you are polite and truthful, should you give honest feed back on what you see?

While I agree as plus size riders we should be supportive of each other, but underneath it all, literally, is a horse who is carrying us, and to me they are the important part of the equation.

In my view, we should be treated and measured like other riders, we are NOT above criticism because we are big, in fact properly fitting tack, correct riding, right choice of horse, all these things are magnified by having a plus sized rider in the mix.

SO to me:

"Your fat *** should not be riding"

"There is no horse in the world that would carry you"

"Put down the donuts and lose the weight fatty"

Are all not helpful, BUT

"I'm sorry, but I believe that horse is just not big enough for you."

"If you are going to ride, then you would be better off in a bigger saddle"

"I don't think you should jump that horse at your current weight."

Are generally fair game.

I'm sharing this photo that is widely available on the web



If this guy was a member here asking about his horse would any one say that they are OK? I couldn't.

Making it personal and using my own pics, just for illustration.

Willow and I



Some people were very rude about me riding her, those who thought it was OK (ish) rightly pointed out that my 17" saddle and I were no longer suited to each other, some people were fine.

She looks far better with her new owner :)



The Awesome Mr Gibbs, is not tall, but is square, and I'm riding him in my western saddle, much better fit, and while there will be those who don't like it, I will be riding him



Then we get to my constant question, my Emmy



She is happier with me in the Western rather than the English, the extra weight of the saddle is balanced by the increase in weight bearing area. I am 50/50 over riding her (and it is a moot point until I get some Gibbs miles under my belt) but would hope and trust that the plus size riders would have more thought of her well being, than mine when saying yeah or nay to riding her.

If we are always saying, "Oh you look fine" then we are not being supportive, we are being ostriches, and hiding our head in teh sand.
 
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#45 ·
I think, as women, we stress too much about our weight. A 200 lb man is not a plus size guy and nobody looks askance at a man that size on a horse. John Wayne was a BIG guy and nobody ever said "geez, he's too big to be horseback". Alot of females on this particular forum are no heavier than a average sized male(I am among that group) and are always worried about whether or not they are "too big" for their horses....why?
 
#47 ·
Because woman are always being judged by each other? I agree though, I don't weigh even close to 200 pounds yet but feel like a horse myself. I have always felt too big for this or that, in part because I am fairly tall. When I weighed 101 pounds I felt too big to ride my friends 15 hand Arabian. Part of me knows that is ridiculous but another part of me swears she saw the horse roll it's eyes when it saw me coming. ha ha
We THINK we are being judged even when we are not. We THINK it is somehow alright to judge others, but it is not.

I tend to think... what ever you are is find as long as you are alright with it, and it doesn't hurt anyone else. That includes the horses.
 
#48 ·
As someone mentioned before there is a difference between being fit and fat and unfit and fat. I don't see how an unfit person would be comfortable riding a horse. There is a lot of stress to your joints and back in riding, and you need good core strength. I know I noticed a difference in my riding when I started going to the gym (which I need to start again).
I did tell a friend of mine that he was to large to ride my horses. Both are around 14 hands and somewhere in between 900 and 1000 pounds. He was a 6 foot 3 around 300 lbs and built like a linebacker. I wouldn't have said he was overweight though, but I feel I personally push the weight limit with my tack. So no way was he riding my horses.
 
#50 ·
I think that I have handicapped myself by always mounting from the left side of the horse. I was thinking that to me, that video looked so...awkward anyhow, even taking the size away from her. Getting on from a truck bed onto the right side of the horse... Just seemed off. I know I have gotten on the right side just to get the horse used to handling things from the right but I don't do it often.

As far as dismounting, I see people all the time, lean forward, slide their leg over the back of the horse and sort of ooze down to the ground. Some, with a very large thud when they hit the ground. I don't think that woman would have made for a graceful dismount regardless and I still believe that was a recipe for an injury. I think for her sake, and the horses, it was best she was unable to get on.

She did seem very sad/discouraged at the end of the video, she also seemed to know the person doing the video. I wonder, how she felt about them putting it up on Youtube for all to see, especially with that title. Many of the comments are very cruel. Whether a person has thick skin or not, they must be painful to read and I find myself feeling bad for her. When I was a skinny little twig (which was most of my life) I had no understanding of how hard it was to lose weight when you have put it on or how your own body can fight against you in that manner. Now that I do understand, even trying to drop a few pounds My heart breaks for people in those situations.
 
#52 ·
I am no skinny Minnie. Nor am I near it. But if I know a horse can Not handle my weight, then I won't get on it. I own a draft cross and an American curly horse. My draft is about 17 hh. So he is a good size and he fits me well. My curly horse is 15.1. He's not big but hs stocky. So I know he can handle my weight.

I do believe people are very judgmental and horse people are the worst about it. Because they speak their mind, and alot of them don't believe plus sized people should even own a horse. And I have had many comments about it. But I ignore them because I know if my horses were in pain I wouldn't ride them
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#55 ·
how about this rider? horse is about 14.3 maybe 900lb? or tops 1000. rider is close to 200lbs.

(don't worry, I have permission to post this photo)



View attachment 351625
Tiny, I think the rider looks fine, but then I'm about 225 lbs with my tack riding two 900lb to 1000lb horses. I've rode my girls up and down steep trails, and they seem to handle my weight fine.
 
#56 ·
It's not just whether or not a person looks too heavy for the horse. The heavier the rider plus tack, the more it takes it's toll on the horse's joints. Some horses will even develop a condition called road founder from trotting or cantering on hard ground or a road. Founder doesn't happen just from rich grass. An overweight person also has a different weight distribution than a slimmer rider.
 
#57 ·
I am a thinner person who hesitates to post in the "Plus sized" forum as well, but after reading this thread several times, I can't manage to shut my mouth, so here goes.

Honestly, on Willow you are too much, Gibbs you are fine, and Emmy I think will be fine with a little more fitness on her part, maybe yours as well. You already know all of this though, you're an aware rider from what I have gathered over the last several years and you are always thinking of your horse's health. Horses can carry different weights and most of them will let you know when they aren't comfortable. By the 20% rule Soda should be able to carry 260 lbs, but after having a 230lb rider on him I can tell you that he was not impressed and let me know. Now Lily should only be able to carry 160-180 lbs based on the 20% rule. I'm close to 150 and she has never faltered or given me any sort of indication I am too big for her. I had someone riding her who was 170lbs and she was completely fine then as well.

I think people do have a tendency to be far ruder to someone who is overweight and too big as opposed to someone who is not overweight, but is still too big for their horse. It's like being "big" gives people some green light to be nasty. Of course, there are still others who won't say anything in fear of being too mean. Most of us have something that we are ashamed or embarrassed of that has been brought up in a not so nice way by someone else, so we are loathe to be "mean" even if we aren't being mean, just honest and thoughtful.

Look at this picture of me on Lily:


I AM big on her, I can literally wrap my legs around her barrel (when she isn't obscenely fat and I am doing yoga so flexible :lol:) and no one in the world would tell you that I look right on her. Yet, not once has anyone ever said anything to me about riding her and I ride her hard. Now, I know that she is fine, I am very aware of her comfort and quite frankly she's a brat and would let me know that she wasn't ok carrying me around. But just going off looks? I look like I'm too much.

I'm not saying we should bite our tongues when a plus sized rider is on a horse that they are to big for, but we should be kind and mindful of what we are saying. Something we should be doing with everyone. You can speak your mind and be kind.
 
#58 ·
I think there's a difference in being too big (heavy) for a horse and being too big (too tall or too disproportionate) for a horse.

I think you, (MN Tigerstripes) don't look too heavy for that horse but you do look too tall for her.
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#59 ·
There is a difference, but they are both harder on the horse than a "perfect" match. I have to balance myself carefully to avoid over balancing her when I ride and it does require more work from her to keep "under" me. Like I said, I don't ride light, we are trotting, cantering, galloping, turning, circles, serpentines, so on and so forth. She rarely tells me it's too much and the times that she has it was a saddle issue as opposed to a me being too much issues.

I'm about 16.67% of her weight. My ex, who rode Soda, was 17.7% of his weight. Very comparable, but the Soda was noticeably unhappy with my ex, who was not more than 10 or maybe 15 lbs "overweight." Lily never has an issue with me, nor the heavier riders who ride her. It is very individual and I think that while the 20% guideline is something to keep in mind when you don't know a horse, you first and foremost need to pay attention to your horse.

My main point was that where people will say something to a plus sized rider in a pretty rude manner oftentimes, they generally won't say anything to a non-plus sized rider who is underhorsed. Or if they do say something to the non-plus rider it's couched in kinder less harsh terms.
 
#60 ·
Yup Tigerstripes...I agree completely. We are less kind to overweight gals...

To answer your original question Goldenhorse.... I would say that unless you were asked for your opinion, you should not give it. If you were asked, then I hope you would be able to find kind and careful words to use. Not easy but why should it be?

Just because we want to be blunt doesn't mean that is the right thing to do. When did being blunt become cool, or appropriate? I must be old because I don't think it is either of those things. You can be truthful and still be kind.

I find that the ladies on this forum are the most unkind to themselves. I am fat, but I'm not a blob, or a whale, or any of the words some have used to describe themselves. Learn to be kind to yourselves first, and it will be easier to be kind to others.

Oh dear, did NOT want my post to turn into a lecture and for that I apologize. But not for my words.
 
#67 ·
LOL, you see the last part, you apologize for the lecture, but not your words, but is that because the thread invites feedback?

As to
To answer your original question Goldenhorse.... I would say that unless you were asked for your opinion, you should not give it.
well there is the rub isn't it, IF you saw someone who was way to big for their horse, doesn't matter if you are talking about this obese granny, or the 6' tall perfectly proportioned person trying to ride a Welsh Section A, should you not speak up on behalf of the horse?

When you choose to ride in public, share your story or picture in public, or anytime when you are seen on a horse, you risk discussion, it is going to happen. That discussion may be with you, or about you, and we all preen when people say "what a great rider" "love your saddle" "hey look at this person and the relationship they have with their horse"

Of course the other side if the coin is people will also say negative things, some warranted some not, it is just life, and like the positive opinions, well they are just that opinions.

As to being hard on ourselves, well maybe, I am not fat, I am obese, and you know as much as I scream and cry about it, as much as it depresses me it is actually a choice. Yeah there you go I say it, I choose and I keep choosing to be unhealthy, because fat is unhealthy. It's obviously more complicated than that, but yeah, I have been thin (ner) I chose to take that journey, and then chose to go back to old habits and be fat again.

Now I cannot choose to change fundamental things about me, I am shrinking, I will not get taller again that is age at work, I am greying, that will not change, unless I dye it, but my weight, well I just have to choose each and every time I eat, do I want to eat this or be slimmer. That isn't haring on me, that is being truthful to me.





I would think the best people to converse with about this would be a vet, right?
Sadly no, depends on your vet, not all are born or trained to an equal standard.


I agree that the critical factors are horse fitness + rider fitness.

With that in mind, GH, I feel that your first mare looked more fit in her photo than your second does, in hers. Oddly enough, Willow looks less sexy (to me, anyway) with her new rider, lol.
Hehehe, she is doing well, seems like Willow loves to jump, and she is getting on great

In regards to addressing this topic online or in person, tact is key or backs rise and ears close. I think entire perspective is important. I cringe when people send their scrawny, barely 2 year olds to full grown (+/-200 lbs) men. I see said men riding said horses in shows... I am not going to say anything. Nor will I say anything to those who send them. What you won't see is my scrawny (coming 4) youngster under a full grown man for his education. I'm happy to see evidence of my own convictions influencing the thought processes of friends who are slowly rethinking doing things 'the way they've always been done'.

An adult, riding any horse without compassion - whether it's size, hardware or general abuse will never gain my endorsement through silence. I will not hound someone, but I will say my peace and remove my presence.
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Amen to the big men and scrawny 2 year olds, not a good look, however traditional it is. LOL, you know that last time I lost all the weight is so I could put the first rides on young Maximus, at 4 years old, because I wanted that frame finished and solid before he carried anyone.
 
#61 ·
I am posting here for the first time. I am a plus size rider, that said.. I believe a lot of it has to do with how fit the horse is as well. Age, and fitness level of animal and human should be considered. I have seen that most "guys" doing reining weigh about the same i do BUT i'm 4' 8" and i just don't carry it the same as they can :) I am working to get into shape and only feel comfortable riding 10 15 mins at a time. But i condition condition condition the horse with saddle and with out.
 
#62 ·
A few comments:

1 - The 20% rule originally came from the US Cavalry. Their concern was with horses ridden perhaps 15 miles/day normally, and who sometimes had to be ridden 40-50 miles/day for 4-6 days in a row. Very few recreational riders keep a schedule like that!

2 - The 20% study I've seen involved horses who were not ridden for 4 months, and then were ridden for an hour every 2 WEEKS - so the horses were NOT in fit riding shape. My horses would have a tough time carrying me (180, so around 215ish with tack) if I left them unridden for 4 months. Also, the stress level when the rider's weight went above 20% wasn't very great. It just meant the horses' backs were tired. Duh! If I went 4 months without lifting anything, an 80 lb bale of hay would kick my butt too!

3 - Horse conformation. I've got a 13 hand mustang whose legs are almost as big around as my 15.2 mare's - and Mia is not the dainty Arabian type. Cowboy's back is short, and he can share a saddle with Mia. He's built like a tank.

I guess his weight at no greater than 700 lbs, so my riding him hits 31%. He has galloped with me for 10 laps around our little arena and not even breathed heavily at the end. However, he is also obviously working harder to adjust his balance in turns compared to my other horses.

Right now, he is rarely ridden - maybe 1/month tops, so he is out of riding shape. I wouldn't ride him for more than 15 minutes right now, and would feel bad about riding him over an hour or so even if he was in riding shape.

My 15.2 Arabian weighs 900 lbs, so I'm at 24% with her. She has never shown any reluctance, nor has she ever shown any indications of being sore after a ride. FWIW, I don't think I've ever ridden her over 4 hours, and most rides are around 1 hour.

I had a little Arabian mare we sold a few years back over my objections. She probably weighed under 800 lbs, being thinner than Trooper who is 830 lbs. She was green broke when I started riding her. That put me around 28% of her weight. The first few times I trotted with her, she was awkward with her balance carrying me. Then she figured it out, and never showed any signs of being uncomfortable. I never rode her for more than an hour, but she was an enthusiastic and willing horse. I wanted to keep her and sell Trooper (they fought each other constantly), but my family voted to keep Trooper.

Trooper and I would be at 26%. He is 3/4 Arabian. If I ever bothered his back, he hid it well - apart from when I was learning to canter on him. And that was all rider error...:oops:

He showed more resentment when my 100 lb DIL was learning to canter with him than he did with me. Once she learned to move with him instead of "bouncing the canter", he was fine with her.

4 - Time and activity. Jumping obviously can put more pressure on joints than walking. Running a barrel pattern obviously puts more strain on a horse than jogging along a smooth trail. A good fitting western saddle distributes weight over a larger area than an English jump saddle. One cannot make a rule based on a percentage without asking about tack, what the horse is being asked to do, how long, etc.

In the picture below, my wife asked me to ride Cowboy for a few minutes because she wanted to make sure he wouldn't act up after a long spell without being ridden. I rode him for about 10 minutes in the too small for me saddle, and this picture was taken going uphill. I felt awkward, and I'm sure he did as well. My wife was leading Mia, and after 10 minutes we switched. I rode Mia and she rode Cowboy. The second picture shows her riding him the following day.

I look pretty hideous on him, but the truth is that he has never complained about carrying me. Nor has he acted sore afterward. I'm pretty sure that if we worked up to it, he could carry me fine - walking and trotting for an hour or so. But we would need to work up to it, and I'm too big for him if we were going to do much more than stroll along. With practice, I'm sure he could easily carry my wife all day.





For comparison, Mia & I:



I fully understand a commercial business imposing specific weight rules. For individuals, I think it is best to THINK about it - what horse, what rider, what activity, how long, etc.
 
#66 ·
I agree that the critical factors are horse fitness + rider fitness.

With that in mind, GH, I feel that your first mare looked more fit in her photo than your second does, in hers. Oddly enough, Willow looks less sexy (to me, anyway) with her new rider, lol.

In regards to addressing this topic online or in person, tact is key or backs rise and ears close. I think entire perspective is important. I cringe when people send their scrawny, barely 2 year olds to full grown (+/-200 lbs) men. I see said men riding said horses in shows... I am not going to say anything. Nor will I say anything to those who send them. What you won't see is my scrawny (coming 4) youngster under a full grown man for his education. I'm happy to see evidence of my own convictions influencing the thought processes of friends who are slowly rethinking doing things 'the way they've always been done'.

An adult, riding any horse without compassion - whether it's size, hardware or general abuse will never gain my endorsement through silence. I will not hound someone, but I will say my peace and remove my presence.
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#71 ·
Why should 20% apply? It wasn't developed for recreational riding use. Why should I believe all three of my horses are ridden by too heavy riders when there is no sign whatsoever that it is true? If Mia finds me too heavy at 24%, she sure has hidden it...for over 5 years!
 
#72 ·
The 20% rule is not a rule, it is a widely held but really unproven figure, a bit like the 8 glasses of water a day.

And as we have seen from other threads, some people consider that a short obese person even at 20% is considered a worse choice than a normally proportioned person who may be nearer 30%.

If the research done on the horses competing in the Tevis cup is sound, then horses can carry up to 30% in the most testing of conditions without any measurable harm. Remember that these horses will have carried that weight over many miles of conditioning as well as the race proper.

SOME horses will only be able to carry 20%, some more some less.

I also refute that horses were designed to pull, I do not believe that either God or natural selection designed the horse to do any more than graze and try not to get eaten. Once man became involved in the selection process we then produced horses to pull, to run fast, to ride, to carry knights in armour, we also produced the halter horse which appears to have no function apart from look pretty. Lots of different shapes and types of horse, some better at being ridden than others, some better at weight carrying than others.
 
#74 ·
"All of us plus size riders should unite and thoroughly test the weight ratio and it's impacts on different builds of horses, then develop a breed of horse that will be healthy and carry weight optimally. FOR SCIENCE"

Someone has done that. I think the critter's name is Harley. : )
 
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#75 ·
neither myself or hubby are light weights,but not to the size of the people pictured. but IMO that man on the grey .. No. to large. and if it was my horse, there would be no way.
The lady well, only if doing lite riding like a walk, unless she knows how to balance well, her horses appear to be stouter and larger.
 
#76 ·
When horses were being enlisted for WW1, many came off huge land grants
and weren't rider fit. A team of veterinarians came up with the 20% rule to be fair to these horses. Keep in mind most men then were maybe 5'8 on average and slim. Add all their gear and they'd be close to what was felt ideal. The thing is a horse's back has a relative small strength bearing area for the length of it's back. Ideally, the rider's body should be easily contained within this area and not spread out fore and aft. This is why horses can carry a heavier rider that fits fairly well within that area. For those who think the horse may not be uncomfortable or in pain and await a response to tell you so, it many never happen. Horses block out pain, a gift nature gave them to survive predator attack. The weak or lame are the ones that get picked out and become dinner.
 
#77 ·
For those who think the horse may not be uncomfortable or in pain and await a response to tell you so, it many never happen.
I've seen more than a few drama queens over the years that might disprove that.


"Owww owww, my foot hurts, ouchie... Hey, someone look at me? I'm standing here in the corner of the arena and my rider is ignoring me despite the fact I'm clearly favouring one leg. HELLOOOO....? Someone take pity on me and put me back in my nice warm stall with my hay, would ya? I know you just got on and I haven't actually even broke a sweat yet, but c'mon. I promise I'll keep the act up at least as far as the door to the arena, but if I suddenly then prance like a lipizzaner all the way to my stall it's just because I'm excited for my hay and those treats I smelled in your pocket that you were planning to give me, OK?"
:wink:
 
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