Confidence - Does your weight bother you? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 34 Old 10-26-2017, 04:07 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Confidence - Does your weight bother you?

I struggle with confidence when in the saddle. I am fine when I am happy hacking, I can go anywhere alone or with my friends.... But the second I try to do more, fun rides, beach rides, group lessons, anything like that I begin to panic about it. I think some of it is fear of people judging me and my riding (and my size) but honestly... I dont know what the route cause is.

I have a lovely horse, he is a big thoroughbred but he has a real ploddy brain. He doesn't have a nasty bone in his body. I have only fallen off of him once, and I was lucky enough not to hurt myself... so I dont think it is a fear of falling as such but I suppose that could be some of it.

I guess what I am asking is does anyone else have this issue? Confidence loss for no real reason other than fear of what other people think? If so... Did you manage to get over it? And how did you get over it?



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post #2 of 34 Old 10-26-2017, 05:34 PM
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I understand worrying about what others thing, but I think of it in the sense that everyone should be trying to better themselves, and that means they shouldn't be concerned about what everyone else is doing! Worry about yourself, and only yourself, and you'll notice a lot more of the small little accomplishments/special moments with your horse (nobody else can give you that feeling!)

Personally I think you look great, and your gorgeous hunk there seems perfectly happy with you, that's all that really matters :)

On a side note, are you short or is he really tall? Just curious, not relevant to anything XD

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post #3 of 34 Old 10-26-2017, 06:01 PM
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Liking your post, because I like your picture.

I’m old I don’t care much what people think. When it comes to size the only opinions that matter are your horse, your coach, your vet, maybe your farrier....outside of that, none of their business.
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post #4 of 34 Old 10-26-2017, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NagTrader View Post
I guess what I am asking is does anyone else have this issue? Confidence loss for no real reason other than fear of what other people think? If so... Did you manage to get over it? And how did you get over it?
Stop worrying about what other people think.

I know, I know -- that's easier said then done. But seriously consider it.

Sometimes it starts with being happy with yourself. If there is something YOU don't like about yourself, then change it. But let that decision come from YOU and not from anyone else's opinion or judgement. Be who you want to be, and be happy with that.

Who cares what anyone else thinks....

Lovely horse by the way!

∞•*˚ Βгįťţαňγ ˚*•∞
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post #5 of 34 Old 10-26-2017, 07:43 PM
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I only even considered weight when I tried to take lessons.. most barns around me won't let you ride if your over a twig.. definitely less weight than most guys I know. Once I got out and started riding.. most people said I look good on my horse and I don't worry about what other people think of me any more. There is a plus sized rider group on Facebook I found where everyone is super nice and supportive, and makes everyone feel welcome.. Plus just the company your are with.. if they are positive it makes your riding experience positive
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post #6 of 34 Old 10-26-2017, 08:30 PM
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I completely understand that self consciousness mindset.
Something I've always struggled with personally whether it horse related or just in everyday life.
It is such a mind over matter deal.

And it certainly is easier said than done. I know personally i shouldn't mind what others think of me, knowing I'm trying my hardest each ride to better myself. But it is still hard to push out all the self doubt. Somedays are way easier than others.

I would just try not to be hard on yourself. Know that you're doing everything you can, your trying, your self aware. And try tell yourself it only matters what you think of you. Nobody else. Try it in baby steps when it comes to pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Make a goal that once a week/fortnight/month you'll do something that pushes you. Soon as you do you'll probably realise how fun and easy it was and move onto the next.
If you're self concious in how you look (you shouldn't be) but you can always treat yourself to some new breeches or something you feel good in that makes you happy with how you look.
While we shouldn't care what others think, sometimes it is hard and you need to spoil yourself a little to get there!
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post #7 of 34 Old 10-27-2017, 01:05 AM
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Love your photo. What a great pair.
I can relate to your feelings, but getting out and doing is the most important thing.
And if you and your boy are enjoying it together, that's all that matters.
Try not to let fear of others opinions spoil your fun!
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post #8 of 34 Old 10-27-2017, 01:24 AM
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The only time it bothers me, is in sitting trot and the ‘girls’ get a little bouncy ☺️☺️
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post #9 of 34 Old 10-27-2017, 02:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Trinket12 View Post
The only time it bothers me, is in sitting trot and the ‘girls’ get a little bouncy ☺️☺️
Oh boy, do I know what you mean!

I'm not overweight but endowed ladies like me should think of that before buying a horse with a lot of action :/ It feels like I'm going to knock myself out one of these days.

I had two old pervs blatantly move their chairs to the edge of the school to watch the girls. I was so self-conscious that I had to switch to posting when moving in their direction.

Once I had to get off because my bra snapped and it was too painful to trot, even with posting.
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post #10 of 34 Old 10-27-2017, 06:30 AM
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As one gets older, most just don't care what others think anymore. It's not because they have no choice either. I've always hated pics of me, always. The funny thing is, when I look back on old photos, I think "Hey, I really wasn't that bad, but now, Oh No". I guess my point is, I should have never hated myself in photos. I should have enjoyed who I was at the moment.

Personally, I think you are pretty and the two of you look so dang cute together. Enjoy it.

This reminds me of when my middle niece was learning to drive a tractor at 13. She was so busy looking around to see who was looking at her, she ran it into a tree and was so embarrassed. If she was concentrated on enjoying the experience she probably would have aced it.

I'm not going to sit here and say that it's ok to be overweight because everyone knows that it's healthier to not be carrying around added extra weight. But, I know lots of heavier ladies that look fabulous.

I just got through visiting that same niece who is now 29 and has three children. She was trying to show me her double chin that she hates so much when she looks at photos of herself. For the life of me, I'm just not seeing what she sees. There is no double chin there. I just don't get it. She's a grand total of about 115 lbs. I feel bad that she goes throughout her days hating something about herself that isn't even there unless she puts her chin all the way down to her chest. And then, at best, it's just skin.

Start finding things about yourself that you love and concentrate on those. Believe me, it gets easier with more practice.
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