[dressagexlee]

Help me build my list of stupid things people have done at you barn or at shows, or quirks that they have that just annoy you! And while we're at it, let's make a list for horses!
Please, let's keep this thread civil, though. No fighting (unless it's absolutely ridiculous).



People: (These are all real experiences of mine.)

• You do not own the arena. The rule is left-to-left, not hog-the-rail. And when you're walking, there's this invisible wonder called the "inside-track". Faster gaits get the outside.
• It is just plain weird to yell, "WEEWOO! WEEWOO!" in attempts to make your horse go faster.
• Please stop stealing my feed. Beet Pulp and XTN should not be used to reward your horse, especially in my presence.
• Yelling "PICK UP YOUR ****ING FOOT!!" will not make him pick up his foot.
• Please do not run up and attempt to pet/hug my 17.2hh grumpy horse, then proceed to ask why he tried to bite you.
• Waving a parelli flag at your horse's back legs while he is rearing will not cure his rearing problem. It will make him flip over and make my horse attempt to jump the arena fence.
• If you call my trainer a c-word because your house's windows are dirty, of course she is going to call you a c-word. Buy a new house, and don't try to take revenge by purposely spooking my horse with a hedge trimmer. (Again with the arena fence jumping attempt.)
• Yes, I'm carrying a dressage crop. Deal with it, I'm not beating my horse with it.
• Yes, I did hit him with my bare hand. He did something unacceptable and it's not going to kill him.
• Centerline is not a racetrack. If you run me over, of course I'm going to ask you what the **** you're doing.
• You're non-horseperson dad should not be trying to load your confused three-year-old on to the trailer. Please remember to not attach a stud chain over the soft part of his nose, as well.
• Please hang my horse's hay net up higher than three feet off the ground. He got his foot stuck once, and it shouldn't happen again.
• If you bring your parelli flag into my horse's stall, of course he's going to attack you. He does not need work on his ground manners, especially when a fourteen year-old girl handles him better than you.
• Do not give me heck when I tell you that I kicked my horse in the butt to solve his kicking problem. Don't try to make up excuses for your dumbfoundedness when I tell you it worked.

Horses: (Real experiences between me and Freddy)

• I do not appreciate when you ignore my leg. You look like a snail, I look like a fool. Proceeding this, I will pick up a dressage crop. This does not give you the excuse to run around like an idiot.
• Yes, we do have to put on the bridle. Neither myself or the other riders appreciate an out of control racehorse in the arena. So stop curling you upper lip and making faces, and let me put on the bridle already.
• When you bite me, of course you will have a visit from Mr. Elbow.
• I am not to be leaned on, for I do not have Donkey-Kong biceps. And don't give me attitude when I let you fall on your face.
• Yes, we are doing dressage. Yes, I am making you use your body. No, we will not set up jumps today.
• My helmet visor is not a chew toy for which you use to entertain yourself. My vest is not a kleenex for which you use to whipe your nose nuggets upon. And I am not a scratching post, I will fall down.
• I don't appreciate it when you throw a buck, change your lead, or etcetera right as we pass the judge.
• You did not forget how to canter today. Stop making up excuses.
• The coffee cup is not going to eat you. That doesn't mean you should eat it either.
• Just because you catch your reflection in the mirror does not mean you should stop and admire how handsome you are.
• Whatever you are scared of, you do not need to look right at it as we pass by. You have eyes on the side of your head for a reason.
• When there is nothing on the ground below you, you do not have an excuse to put you head between your knees and spook at it.
• Small ponies, goats, llamas, and cats will not harm you. The same goes for their poop.
• Just because I'm small, doesn't mean you can screw around. We've been through this before.

Now it's your turn, hm? ~

 

[PaintsPwn]

PEOPLE:
- You're not a trainer just because you buy trained horses and win 8| Srsly.
- Stop spurring the devil out of your horses!!! This spur trained nonsense is nonsense!
- Bigger bit does not mean more control, bigger bit = bigger disaster when control is lost. Upside down pleasure anyone?
- Sliding stops are stressful on joints, but jumping isn't? Plz.
- Just cause he has testicles doesn't mean he deserves them. (human or beast, lol)
- Designer Dogs = Puke.


HORSES:
- You're gonna be at least 16 hands of solid muscle someday. You WILL mind your manners, or else.
- Stop nomming the shank in halter classes. You're pretty, but you can't show yourself, bud. Trust me, when it's 90 degrees I wish you could.
- I know you're trying to rub your white touch up on me. I knows it =__=
- You start fights, and I always win. Stop starting fights thanks.
- Yes, I will cuss at you in a low growl with my teeth clenched. It works. It makes you behave, doesn't it?
- Dear Arabians, ya'll aren't crazy. The people that own you are, however, generally crazy. I empathize. In that time at that barn, not one of you spooked on me, while you snorted and acted like freaks in the hands of others. I salute your intelligence!
- Please, stop using your poo as a pillow. PLEASE!

 

[ThatNinjaHorse]

People:
-The pommel of the saddle faces the front. Surely you've seen enough tacked up horses to know you've put the saddle on back to front.
- The horse is your responsibility, dont try to get others to groom/tack him for you.
- Dont cut me off then tell me off because im "in your way"
- There is a hose nearby, 3 actually. Dont put your horse away sweaty.
- All your geldings are not rigs, just because "of the way they act". Ive seen them, they are usually dopes with no riggish behaviour.
- Trail rides are ment to be relaxing, if your going to annoy your horse every stride to get its head down you may as well not be on a trail ride.
- Your horse was not naughty. I saw no rearing, bucking, biting, kicking etc etc. Acting alert isnt naughty.
- Dont judge me as a 'bad' rider compaired to you on your $20,000 push button horse, while im on my cheap, difficult horse. We've both had to start from scratch and we do pretty well considering.

Thats all ive got for now, i may add more later

 

[dressagexlee]

Oh, I have another few.

People: (Real experiences, again.)

• Please do not lunge your horse in the arena when there are other people riding. The indoor round pen, though dusty, is not going to swallow you.
• Please do not ride in the round pen. The ceiling is nine feet tall, end of story.
• When there are eight people riding in the arena, please do not try to lead your new horse around on the rail in attempts to get him used to the arena.
• If you're going to set a jump up, please set it up so that you are not running your green horse (who can't turn or stop) into the wall, or into me.

 

[tempest]

People (mainly from shows these are mostly comments that I want to say so badly, but I refrain from doing):
-Beating your horse will not get it in the trailer any faster.
-I don't care if you think your parents are idiotic fools who know nothing about horses, they are only trying to help so don't treat them like crap, you should feel honored that they want to help you and learn.
-Annoying me is not the correct way of trying to be my friend.
-The more you whine, the less I like you.
-Yes my horse may be conformationally and beauty challenged (ugly) but she's got the right stuff where it counts.
-Pretty is as pretty does. I don't care if your horse or you are pretty, it doesn't matter to me as long as you act the part.
-Unless you're going to get up off your lazy butt and get your own horse ready for the show or take care of it, don't complain about how your horse is taken care or how it looks. If you don't like it, do it yourself.
-No, I don't know where (insert item here) is. If you can't find it and I don't know, you'll just have to deal with it. It will turn up eventually.
-Put your dang cell phone away. You are sitting on an at least 1,500 lb animal that is so much bigger than you, has a brain of its own, and could easily kill you without meaning to. You need to focus. I don't care if your boyfriend or girlfriend is breaking up with you, it's not going to matter if your dead or have brain damage.

Horses:
-Biting my chest or the bridle is not going to help me get the bit in your mouth any faster. Neither is biting my butt as I climb on going to help me get on you faster.
-Yes i just slapped your nose, biting is not necessary.
-Why are freaking out over a rock when a helicopter doesn't even faze you?
-Fly spray will not kill you.
-I'm angry right now, so do not try to make me smile by looking cute.
-Any other time you want to be outside, but as soon as I put you out, you want back in.
-Laying back your ears and threatening me will not get you your food faster.
-Just because your still intact doesn't mean you have to act the part. I have the power to change that just like that *snaps fingers*.
-It is possible to poop and walk at the same time.

 

[thunderhooves]

People:
-If i am paying to board at your faciliutys, it means I get to ride in your arena. Don't tell me to get out and demand me to saddle up when someone thats paying $10 to ride in it for a while comes along.
- When I am paying you board for my mare in a stall, you sure as heck should make sure the stud doesn't get out and get to her like he has tried to do before, and at least tie a rope around her latch like EVERY OTHER mare has except mine! I WILL make you pay if she gets pregnant with your ugly stud that you can't afford to geld!
- I will do what I want at your boarding center. i pay, I signed the release for, so don't go telling me to saddle up and "ride already".
- get your crazy arab that has to have 2 men with stud chains lead him into the arena to run a barrel pattern while rearing OUT OF HERE!
- i expect my stall to be clean, and not have my horse standing in 3 inches of mud, poop and pee.
- when I hang my horses' halter on her stall with her rope and chain, i do not want it gone the next day, taken off the door and used for your other horses! I paid for it!
Horses:
-It's just a mini pony. They aren't all evil.
- We are going where I want to, not you.

 

[dressagexlee]

We're getting some good ones! Keep them coming, hm? ~

 

[ThatNinjaHorse]

I don't care if you think your parents are idiotic fools who know nothing about horses, they are only trying to help so don't treat them like crap, you should feel honored that they want to help you and learn.

ohh ive seen this one alot!!

 

[SmoothTrails]

-It's just a mini pony. They aren't all evil.

my mom's poor horse almost had a heart attack when she saw her first mini!! He was a tiny black really fuzzy pony, adn she was sure he was planning to eat her.

 

[Draftgirl17]

People (personally experienced these):
-Just because you convinced everyone else you know stuff about horses, doesn't mean you really do. Its dangerous for you to even lead your unsocial horses in the ring. How about getting them trained. better yet, give credit to the people who actually do train your horses because we all know you won't
- How about instead of asking everyone else around you for flyspray,hoof black, etc.. try getting your own supplies. I realize you are tight for money and we really don't mind lending you the minimal things but seriously it doesn't cost that much and if we do let you borrow it... DON'T USE 1/2-3/4 OF THE PRODUCT.
-Why don't you try winning the right way. Not sleeping with/paying off the judge to win. If you'd take the time to work with your horses instead of buying more just because "the babies are cute" maybe you'd have something. You'd deserve to win instead of just being looked down upon.
- I don't believe in the "do anything to win" concept nor to i tolorate it. I don't find it particularly funny to pull my mare's shoe off just to try and keep us from hitch class becuase you know we're better than you are. Its called WORK WITH YOUR HORSE MORE THAN JUST ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR!
- Thinking you are an awesome shower because you have a ton of ribbons from classes that your horse was the only one it. It doesn't make you anything, other than someone who's afraid of competition.
I'll probably add more as i think of them
-

 

[Lis]

People:
-Just because you are related to the YO doesn't mean you can accuse me of leaving gates open when I made sure of placing that piece of wire you call a gate across the gap and letting out your shetland who is an escape artist and rolls under the piece of wire.
-You can't say your horse is a safe ride when you are too scared to ride him.
-Your horse is not worth over 40k because he was trained as a racer when he never saw the track.
-Don't lie about how I broke my shoulder because you put me on a horse that had decided he was a bronco and I trusted you enough because you were my instructor so I went with your judgement and ended up breaking a shoulder and ripping my muscles.
-If you are taking back the pony I loan from then tell me face to face or phone rather than sending me a text.

Horses:
-You are not a bronco.
-Just because you don't like having your hooves picked out doesn't mean you can try to eat my back. I will bite you back.
-If you run away from me when I'm trying to catch you I will chase you and tire you out because I can walk for ages while you gallop round like an idiot then I will fuss the other horses until you come across and demand to be caught because I'm meant to be catching you only.
-You are very strange because you like sparkling peach flavoured water and consider a bottle capfull to be the biggest treat you have ever gotten.
-A train thundering past doesn't scare you but a wheelie bin does, why?

 

[Tasia]

People
-your horse will not behave if you give him more treats
-putting a bigger bit in your horses mouth will not help anything
-hold you **** reins right ! your hand goes over the reins and your index finger goes between! Not underneath!!
-lunge your horse when there is no one else in the barn
-welcome to the barn you do not leave your 17hh stallion in the ring when you **** no that this is winter we have one arena share it! if your horse needs excersise ride him!
-dont expect me to move when I need to practice spins and your doing flying lead changes
-If you cant keep your posture straight dont ride! We dont need a bunch of lazy riders around here
-you do not use my feed to reward you horse
-leave my stuff alone
-Do not go in to my horses pen and pet my horse
-if you dont think its fair that I win some classes go and cry to someone else cause I do not care!
theres more...
HORSES
-if u bite me I will smack you on the nose
-dont pretend to forget the training I put years to work in.
-it isnt funny when I get you all groomed and you roll in your crap
-put your dink away nobody wants to see it I have spurs on.
-I will not get off until you do what I ask

 

[Hannah50]

People: Please do not lead your two mares past my 17.1 hand mare in heat in an 8ft. wide ailse. Safety first Dipstick!
Do not drop your lunge lina and walk out of the arena leaving your horse alone with a 30ft. line attached while I am riding (really happened).
Do not follow me around the barn , wait untli I grab a hose or wheelbarrow then ask me 20 times how long I'll be using that.
Do not whine to me about your divorce, sex life , money problems if you just moved in yesterday and we've known each other 20 minutes!
Do not complain non-stop about how badly the barn is run. Tell the owner of buy your own freakin' barn and run it your way.

 

[charlicata]

Do not whine to me about your divorce, sex life , money problems if you just moved in yesterday and we've known each other 20 minutes!

I had a neighbor that was just like that!!!! If I saw her crossing the street, I would pretty much lay down on the floor under the window so she couldn't see me while peeking through. What a nightmare of a person to try to deal with!!! I was sooooo happy when she moved.

 

[RadHenry09]

Do not complain non-stop about how badly the barn is run. Tell the owner of buy your own freakin' barn and run it your way.

I don't like it when ppl do this too, everyone is entitled to having a bad day but if you really do not like something that is going on talk to the the person who owns the barn not everyone else!
This happens at work too and I really try not to get sucked in to it , if you are that unhappy find another place!!

 

[HowClever]

People -

• do not hit my horses in the face, for any reason, ever.
• do not lecture me on feeding my horses when you have stick figures in your paddock
• no i did not "copy" you, you had a good idea, i used it, its a compliment. grow up.
• if i choose not to ride my horse on a 2 hour trail ride because he is tossing his head and showing me clear signs that he is in pain, it does not make me a bad rider, it makes me aware of my horse, maybe something you should try.

Horses -

• you are practically white, the sand is yellow, if you roll in it i will be annoyed.
• pawing the ground will not get your feed to you any quicker, in fact it will probably just make me trip in the crater you have dug and you'll be in trouble again
• speed is not always essential, sometimes a walk is a great thing
• if i am standing between you and another horse, don't charge him, i will charge right back at you

 

[twh]

People -

• Just because you're an epic trainer who's won a bunch of ribbons does not give you the right to start lecturing me on how "untrained" my horse is, especially when you're messing up a horse you're "expertly" training.
• Please do not lunge your horse while I am trying to ride in the arena.
• My horse will tell me when you didn't feed him.
• Hardware =/= Horsemanship

Horses -

• I just groomed you. But you just had to roll in the mud. *sigh*
• You try charging or bullying my horse while I'm there, you're in big big trouble.
• Stop trying to eat when there's a bit in your mouth.

 

[dressagebelle]

People:
-Don't bathe a horse at 7 at night when its cold, and the sun has gone down, and then stick him in his stall soaking wet. (yes happened to my dad's horse got a lovely call from the BO that the person leasing him did that, and we had to go take care of it)
-No you can not ride my 9 year old 16.2 Thoroughbred mare when you have rough hands, and can't handle your 9 month old Quarter Horse gelding, the first horse you've ever had.
-If your 15 year old daughter wants to get a horse for the first time, and has never ridden before, DON'T get a 7 year old spirited and still in training Thoroughbred mare, then not ride her yourself, have the trainer ride her for a year, then tell us you're going to send her to auction in 2 days if we don't buy her when you've had a YEAR to sell her.
- add: And don't have said horse, not ride her, and then proceed to tell ME how to ride her when you've put her in a twisted wire full cheek, and tied her head down so she can't lift it properly to jump, so therefore I'm doing the best I can to stay out of her face while trying her over a fence to see how she does. I am NOT going to get in her face, and get after her for a correct lead after the fence when all I'm doing is trying her out.
-I am sorry that you think that your horse is a saint, but when he sharks my horse's butt EVERY time I take her out of her stall, and she's now terrified of going through her gate, thus running me, and anyone else over in her haste to avoid getting bitten, YES I am going to take a crop and smack him in the chest when he goes after her, especially when he's already caused her to puncture her hip on a bolt on the gate trying to get away from him.
-So its okay for YOUR students to go galloping down the row of paddocks just cause, and yet its not okay for me to ride at a walk on the hard ground outside the arena, my horse who's recovering from a torn tendon AFTER you already spoke to the vet and okayed me doing it because she can't be ridden anywhere else, and needs to start working again. (happened with my mare who tore her superficial flexor tendon)
-I'm sorry that you seem to think that your 17 hand monstrosity that looks more like a Thoroughbred Saddlebred cross is what an Arabian is supposed to look and act like, but its not. Arabians are supposed to be no more than about 15 hands in height with a nice short back, and neck. They are supposed to be smart, able to think and act quickly, not terrified of whatever is going to be asked of them.
-Yes my horse may be sedated, but that does not mean that you can come up talking loudly and waving your hands in the air just because of the novelty of her not being freaked out since she's sedated. She may not be THAT sedated, and we do not need another 7 stitches in the OTHER leg because she gets freaked about you and your arms (happened with my mare a week ago, she got stitches in her leg, and when I took her home, the BO came up and started waving his arms cause he could. Fortunately she WAS out enough that she didn't care, but it could have created more problems)

Horses
-Yes I am your owner, no you can not jump on top of me every time something scares you
-OMG the leg wraps are honestly NOT going to eat your legs
-When I smack your butt for kicking me, DO NOT spin back around and kick me again, if it wasn't acceptable the FIRST time, it sure as heck won't be acceptable the second time
-Just because other people are around does not mean you need to act like a bird and start lipping my arm to show that I am your human. EVERYONE at the barn already knows.
-(To my friends horse) When you decide to stand DIRECTLY over my horse when she is rolling, of course you are going to get kicked when she jumps up and your head is up her butt, and yes you won't get any warning, and no it is not the end of the world that someone actually got you for once instead of the other way around.

When I'm more awake I'm sure I will come up with more lol.

 

[BlueJayWay]

People:
- Dont diss my horse because you can't ride an arabian.
- Don't bully my horse and call him names when he hasn't done anything to you
- When I fix your horse's bad manners, a simple thanks is all I would like not "Oh..she did that before"
- When my horse is hurt on your land, please tend to it or call me out don't call him an "Emo horse"
- Don't lease your horse out if your going to complain about another person riding her.
- Don't get another horse when you have some already and never look at them in the pasture.
- Babies WILL grow up.

 

[sandy2u1]

people
*don't slap my horse (especially in cross ties)...even to kill a fly, he will take it as an act of violence and tear up expensive tack, or worse hurt himself or someone.
*Major is the most perfect, beautiful, smartest, sweetest, best horse there ever was Any of you who don't believe it, just ask him.

Horse (Major)
*Major, my precious boy, you are the most beautiful boy ever even in your most natural self, but please, when I spend two hours washing and grooming you, at least wait until my back is turned before you role.
*Just because I taught you to give me kisses for treats does not mean you should follow me all around the pasture trying to give me kisses :lol:. I will only give you treats if I ASK for a kiss.