Ok so, i had to share this because i was so upset when i figured this out, i just wanted to bash my head on the wall for a while! (sorta rant, long)
well, i was having trouble keeping rena cantering, like LOTS of trouble, we coudl only ever canter for a few strides. My instructor said i was stopping my seat, and i was getting so frusterated because i would try and keep my seat going and it wasnt working!!!! :-|
one day i was about to get on, and i was tired (this had been going on for a few weeks now) and sorta grumpy

lol

and i took my spurs off, for some reason i decided i was NOT going to ride with them that day. so i didnt, and i relized: THE WHOLE TIME IN THE CANTER I WAS BRINGING MY HEALS UP TO SPUR HER ON, SO MY SEAT COULD NEVER WORK WELL! AND I WAS GETTING THIS 'CRUNCHED UP FRAME'! haha i actualyl just stopped in the ring and started laughing, i patted rena for not cantering and teachign me that that wouldnt work. well when i took my spurs off I never did that, i stretched my legs down and used my seat and CALVES to give aids. *bashing head on desk* im so glad i figured that out! but....
theni was having troubles gettign her to do ANYTHING. i never put the spurs back on, but she wouldnt really do anything i asked properly. wll, yesturday my grandpa and grandma came to watch me ride(

they hadd three daughters that always rode,and im their only granddaughter, so they take interest in my riding, which makes me feel really good!) but this was the firstime my grandpa has seen me ride rena( he sorta has health problems and stays home a lot) so i concentrated on MY postion. well, guess what? rena did very single thing i asked, even a canter leg yeild( AHHH I ALMOST SCREAMED WITH JOY) she stayed round and alway listened to me. *bashing head on desk even harder* I WAS BEING A CONTROL FREAK! haha i wasnt holding up my end of the deal, but i was trying to force her to holdup her end.

shes a very independant horse and knows what shes doing in dressage, she doesnt really need my help that much(only to ask for more collection or more back and stuff) but other then that, i should be doing MY PART,not hers. she even stayed straighter!!!! uuurrrrgghh how i love my horse, but i cant tell her what to do, all im there for is to ask her where to go and how to go there, or more like, suggest it! haha im so excited i figured these things out tho! haha 2012 summer olympics, here we come!! (tehehe i can dream, right?)

thanks for readin, i just had to share these things!