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Big vent/stress out/self indulgence session! Sorry!

1034 Views 3 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Kayty
Sorry guys just have to get some stuff off my chest!

I am going insane. It has been a year now since I've had a horse. I've had them since I was 10, been riding since I was 4 and now that I want to move on I cannot for the life of me, find a suitable horse. Every time I think things are going right, it falls apart and something gets in the way.
Riding is a huge part of my life, it is my stress relief, my comfort, my sport, my hobby, my life in general. it is my adrenalin rush when things work, it's also the source of many a frustration but i still love it.
I've tried to think what else there is that I'd like to do, but nothing can hold my attention and focus like riding does, it's like a drug to me, it makes me feel better when I'm down and takes me away from the pressure of life.
I've looked at so many horses, and get to the stage of putting a deposit down, and then they fail the vet check, they injure themselves just before I commit, I lose my job... I don't know, it's like I'm just not meant to have horses. Something keeps me from buying them every time.

I was going to get to the point of leasing a friends breaker, all good and well, then the night before I was due to pick her up my mate had to change her plans.. i had another night to sleep on the idea and managed to come up with so many negatives that it put me off the lease and i cancelled it.

I don't know what I am supposed to do, riding is such a huge part of my life but something just does not want me to be doing it. So many people just seem to be able to flit from horse to horse, sell one buy one sell one buy one... and I can't find ONE!

Ok vent over, appologies!
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Some people do go from horse to horse, that is true, but I think that just means they found the wrong one to begin with. You are doing it the smart way by having the vet checks and really making sure you are getting a good sound horse. It is a very frustrating experience trying to buy a horse. I went through it with my sister. At one point, we felt like all the sound and decent horses that matched her ability had packed up and moved out of North Carolina. We kept at it though, and now she has a horse that is perfect for her. You will find that horse for you, too. Just don't give up and don't settle. Once you find him, it will all have been worth it.
We're all allowed to vent once in a while! So don't apologize! I SO know what you are going through. Up until a year ago, it seemed as if getting my own horse was just as feesable as my wanting to fly to the moon. It just wasn't happening. And then my whole life changed a year ago, and now I'm the very proud owner of 3 horses.

Keep your chin up. If it can happen to me, it can definately happen for you. The horse for your will come around.
Thanks very much guys. it drives me nuts most of all that this time last year I was out competing all the time with a very nice wb mare, I beat the top YR in the state and was pretty damn stoked, got home from the comps and then literally HAD to give up my ride on that horse. Won't go into details but I was devastated, and havent found anything since. I've always been so big on competing around here, was riding up to advanced dressage and now I'm stuck in a huge rut of horselessness, nobody that I used to ride for needs a rider anymore either so unless I find new owners, I can't even ride for people.
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