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Discussion Starter #1
So I have not been on the forum in years but I need your advice.

5-6 years ago I had a friend that used to come riding with me constantly, we would trailer out to group rides a couple times a month and she was getting super confident. Without telling anyone she bought a 2 yr old gelding! "Green broke" to ride and "healthy". Everyone in our little gang was and wasn't surprised because this is how it usually happens isn't it? LOL NO ONE EVER GOES THE SAFE WAY ABOUT GETTING INTO HORSES!! Upon meeting Bogart (horse), he is indeed broke to ride and a bit sour but he is SUPER LAME. pancake feet that are very small for his size! He is a Halter bred AQHA, 17hhs. He's a beast! A Beast that can only walk in sand or squishy mud or snow. So everyone recommended shoes and she put shoes on him. After a month of shoes and soft arena sand he was almost normal. Then she moved away and no one heard from her after she left. Some of us thought she might be dead! Literally!

Fast forward 3 yrs to last Spring. I was out doing chores and I got a text, she was still in my phone!! I don't know how because I have had 3 phones since then :/ . She is back in the area and wants to hang out! She called me and told me they bought 35 acres about 14 miles from me but it isn't fenced yet. They (Married now with a little boy) want to put up fence fast but need Bogart to stay somewhere in the area and would I mind him staying at my place for a month? Sure! I don't mind at all :) She asked if I could transport him as well which she paid for. I had to rent a trailer as I had sold mine already. His feet were back to square one, split and pancaked. Once loaded he was trying to buck in the trailer but he was so big he could hardly move but the little bit of movement popped the weldings on the rental which she paid for. It sounded like it was a fight between her husband and the rental place though.

Bogart came to our place last Spring about the end of May or early June. He was here into the fall. At which time, I'm realizing I need to find extra hay as I don't think he's going anywhere. Getting a hold of his owner/my "friend" is impossible. She will randomly text, usually a month after you gave up trying to get a hold of her. Originally I wasn't charging any board because Bogart wasn't supposed to be here for more than a month or 2. I thought they were working on fencing but the time I went to visit in fall, not one post was in the ground. UGGGGHHHH!! So I let her know that we need to find 6-1000# rounds extra for Bogart for the winter. Thankfully my neighbor had these available. Also she started in October paying $150 a month for board for Bogart. The first month went to the hay for Bogart, after that she is always at least 2 months behind on board. She has maybe went out to see Bogart ( actually see him line of sight) 4 times since he's been here. I think they have gone out and touched him twice.

So at this time she is again 2.5 months behind on board and I haven't heard a peep from her since the end of March and that was because she was in the hospital where I work having her baby girl. I know with a know with a new baby and a 1 yr old things have to be crazy over there but I also know she really avoids paying and this year with our snow lasting so long (Northern MN) everyone is grasping at hay and I have 2 weeks worth of hay left, the grass will be up but just barely. She needs to take Bogart home. They have a round pen they can keep him in but would need to find hay. I feel bad but I feel like this is just going to go on and on and on....She has basically dumped him here. My horses do not accept him even now after almost a year later. I just don't know what to do and I don't want to have to be harsh to get things done. He needs to go home :/
 

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Unfortunately, this happens a lot! My advice and advice I have seen on other posts similar to this is to send her a registered letter with a final date and the warning that he will be sold for back board by that date if she does not make arrangements to come and get him.

She dumped him with a person she knew would do right by him and probably planned to just pop in one day in the future (could be years away) to claim "her" horse. It's never the horses fault. People suck!
 

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Indeed! He is the sweetest horse and I think could live a decent companion horse life with shoes but as of currently he's just a picked on boy. I send her a text twice a week hoping to get a response. the lack of responses always follow a text asking about board :( very frustrating.

Example:

Me: How Baby Eilene?
Her 20 minutes later: Wonderful! *pictures* and a detailed response of their day.
Me after a 15 minute exchange about Eilene: Would it be possible to get some of the board for Bogart so I can get his 2019 vaccinations and a farrier visit?
No reply, that was March 31st.....

He's a super sweet horse and I don't know if I could even after letter sell him out from under her. I would feel so guilty. I'm a sucker and she knew that and now shes working me.
 

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FoxRidgeRanch,
I have to agree with carshon. Your "friend" knew that you would take care of "her" horse... She is in a comfort zone now, if you will. She knows you won't hound her for board, although you do try, just not forceful enough.

Logistically speaking, can you afford to continue caring for a horse that has been dropped into you good graces??? If not, then it's time to give some "tough love"...Her and hubby are busy with babies, you're taking care of her horse. From what you said, "She has maybe went out to see Bogart ( actually see him line of sight) 4 times since he's been here", tells me, the horse is not something she wants to be responsible for right now.
So, it's time to get tough, suck up the guilt feelings and send her a registered letter,unless you want to keep caring for a horse that one day when she's ready, she'll come and ask for her horse back, whenever that may be... And you may never get reimbursed for you expenses, let alone caring for the horse.



Good Luck.
Roger
 

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You are clearly a very kind person and just want to do right by everyone, Bogart is very lucky to have you in his life right now! But this is not your horse and you should not have to fund him. It's time to show some tough love, send her a registered letter stating that he will be sold if the rent is not paid and he is not taken elsewhere. It may be hard to do but in the long run, it's the right thing.

Good Luck!
Keep us updated.
 

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In most states you can file a lien against her for unpaid board, or you can go the route of claiming she abandoned the horse. In both cases (I believe, someone correct me if I'm wrong) your only legal option is to auction him off. Or,perhaps, given his problems, in civil court an understanding judge would just order ownership of him transferred to you. I hope you're keeping a record of all texts to/from her and her lack of response.
Or, you could borrow a trailer, load him up and deliver him to her property, but I get the feeling he would be the one to suffer.

You are in a tough situation. I sense that you care about his well being. Send that certified letter to her and demand a response from her about her intentions. If she doesn't respond, put a notice in your local newspaper declaring the horse abandoned property, and get legal ownership of him.
 

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A colleague of my wife's asked her to find a place for the cat, until she found a place that allows pets. Then she moved to Puerto Rico. Without the cat. Lesson learned. I think everyone with a generous heart goes through something like this exactly once.
Too true! I currently have an English Pointer, Max, I was fostering. He came with many issues. Those got sorted and he was rehomed - twice! Each time he reverted back to being a PITA so as the last rehoming was three years ago I guess he is here to stay!

As for the horse, do,as,suggested, threaten to sell the horse if she doesn't pay.

What are they doing with the land? Could it be cut for hay and she pay you that way? !
 

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If you take a dime of the back board you can't sell...you can't break your board agreement either so easily.
Yes, you have a agreement...
And that puts you in a predicament of needing him to be auctioned off costing you more monies for legal auction proceedings to take place..

Me...
I would do a letter to her since texting she disregards if it is horse related.
Inform her that her horse is coming home.
Her horse will arrive on "date" .
Whether she is home or not the horse will be delivered to her property where he shall be put in any available fenced area, barn, garage or staked to the ground securely by rope/cable so not to wander away.
The time has come that Bogart needs to become her responsibility and problem as she is his owner and his being at your residence was to be temporary a status.
Since she refuses to communicate with you regarding Bogart, she now is receiving this message to know of his impending arrival.
Please ready for Bogarts keep as you will need hay and feed for the horse and the ability to provide adequate a water source and amount.
He is due for his vaccinations and farrier visit again which you the owner will need to schedule and pay for.
I offer you contact information of a local vet, farrier who you can become clients of or you can find your own as you wish. Just do let me know if you want the information.
When Bogart arrives he will have with him a list of his current diet and how much is fed so there is no interruption to his diet. When you let me know about vet & farrier I will tell you which food products he is fed so continuity is possible with less chance of health issues for the horse. I will furnish this to you in writing when Bogart arrives too.
I no longer have the time, the financial resources but most honestly the want to take care of your horse who you brought here for a very short time-span that has now become what seems a eternity ongoing.
Your fencing project has had ample time to be finished...it is time for Bogart to go home and know his owner{s}.
You have a nice horse, one you should be spending time with enjoying him, caring for him.
You have a lovely property bought so you could bring Bogart home...
I am just putting those two parts together at this point in time.
Bogart is coming home to your home and property as you originally planned.
He will be "home" in xyz days {specify the date again}

Realize this is the end of your friendship...
It will be no-more...
It is you putting a end to be taken advantage of or walked all-over by her.
You already spent the money for the food...let it be.
Move the horse and be done with all of it for good.
Or, she give you money and keep going down the path you're traveling.
Right now she is 2 months behind in rent so eviction proceeding is taking place...
Allow $$ brought up to date and you have no-grounds for removing the horse...
To me the difference is you are not selling him, or sending him off to unknowns but bringing him home to his owners home and property where he has plenty of room to roam on their acreage...
How they secure him once he is on-site was the project they requested time for and you've given near a year to fulfill and you have seen proof there is fencing {round pen} that can secure the horse in safety.
You have tried numerous times to reach the owner and are ignored so...so be it.

Take pictures of the house/barn/fencing the owners property has upon delivery.
{Make sure you take pictures of the horse, surroundings of house and pen and the horse secured on the property with time/date stamp on them}
Now, you can also go through a lawyer and have this drawn up legal and pay...or just do the deed and be done knowing the horse is with his owner on the acreage bought for this specific reason.
Do not own the problems you are going to hear about very quickly...it is not your problem.
The horse is going home or the owner can make arrangements for him to be put at some other location but he is leaving yours.
Done.
:runninghorse2:...
jmo...
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I'm at work so I can't really post post but I sent her a text tonight that I can no longer care for Bogart and that he needs top be moved home by next weekend. I week call her twice a day until I get a hold of her even if I have to use some I've else's phone to get her to pick up. The last time I was up to her place the rounds pen was set up but they had their ducks housed in
it shopping with a large coop. If I can't reach her I will try to deliver Bogart with the help of her previous boarder so I have a witness along. We would document everything, Date, time, Bogarts condition and the condition of where we leave him. My brother works for the local police department and I'll ask him if there is maybe an officer or done kind of official that can supervise the drop off. I don't want any legal trouble. I just want to be done with this.
 

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Follow that text up with another letting her know the type of food he has been fed and the amount.
Let her know where she can purchase it from so there is no excuse for not having food on hand with notice given of Bogart's homecoming in a few days time.


Document and save all correspondence with her so you have proof of trying to reach her, your sharing of information in a timely manner and that he was in the shape he is in, left on their land in their round pen or fenced enclosure/barn...but safely contained.
Make a copy of the document you give her with foods fed, in amounts fed...along with vet & farrier information along with the date of last farrier care and vet care now needing done.
If you do on a computer, make document copy and save it..
CC the copy you provide to her so she also knows there is proof of the giving and not hiding anything.
Document, document, document for "just in case"....


Now for the week to pass so Bogart can go home to his home as was the intended goal originally. :cool:

:runninghorse2:...
 

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UPDATE: So after Texting 2-3 times a day and calling once a day, 4 days after I last posted she text me back. They will take him home and they will still pay the back board. With the new baby home her OB hospitalization and the baby's stay out them in debt quite a bit. I just gotta find a ride for Bogart and we'll get him home :D
 

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Tough call, and I have no advice for your friend other than to give her a tough ultimatum,

but

YIKES. That poor horse screams "pain." His stance, his muscle bunching, his eye, everything about him looks like it hurts. Eeeek.
 

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Poor boy. Very, very generous of you to take him in, but it does sound like she was taking advantage, as well as avoiding it.
That's ridiculous. Save all correspondence though. I really hope she does pull through and take him home, and pay you the back board...fingers crossed it actually happens.

If she actually does take him, I hope she gets him the help he needs too, as his owner.
 

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@FoxRidgeRanch I feel your pain.
Apparently, I learn the hard way as I've been through similar situations twice.

The first time, three years ago. A friend uprooted her life to move here for a new relationship. Once here relationship deteriorated. She decided to leave but had no trailer to haul her horses back. They were to stay at my place for two weeks until she could make the long trip(12-hour drive) back with trailer. They were here for 6 months. Always an excuse as to why no money was sent for hay/board. I received very little when the horses were here and when the horses left (with me driving 6 hours round trip to meet her) I was promised back monies owed. Never seen a dime more once the horses were gone.

The second time, this last fall. A person I didn't really know in person but knew of, left her husband needed a place to put her horses and a horse she had in training. We felt sorry for her and let her board. Knowing money was probably tight we traded chores and hay for the board for a couple of months as she getting on her feet. At the 1st of the year, I had a discussion with her about how much she needed to start paying. We both agreed. I never saw any money until I had a meltdown and told her to leave. A lot of that was my fault as I allowed her to take advantage and my facilities trashed. She paid me one months board, promised more which of course I still haven't seen almost 2 months later after she moved her horses.

Anyhow, I doubt you'll see any money after Bogart is no longer in your care but at least he won't be on your feed bill.
Best of luck to you.
 
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@COWCHICK77 I thought about you when I read this thread.
 
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A woman I know wanted to keep her new horse here once and I (stupidly) said she could. She spent about a month screwing this poor horse up until nobody could catch it. Then she quit coming out. Then quit paying for his feed. Then quit responding to calls or texts.


I knew the guy she had bought him from and ran into him one day in town. We started talking about this horse and it turns out she had more or less stole him! She wrote him a check that bounced and never made good on it, so I just bought the horse on the spot and sold him the next day at a profit.

About a week later she calls and says she'll be out Saturday to get her horse. I said "No, you're not!" I told her I sold him. She was furious. Started yelling all kinds of profanity, even called my mother a nasty name. Threatened to sue me and all kinds of crazy stuff. When she finally shut up long enough for me to talk, I told her to call the sheriff. That's who bought him.
Never heard another word from her.
 

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I think there is a bit of pressure when its a friend or someone in the same, very small(horse) community. We have a tendency to let things slide a bit and in the end, someone feels as though they've been taken advantage of, unfortunately.
The one outside boarder who moved here I had not known previously was a great border. Another decent boarder the summer after.

So while admitting very limited experience boarding full-time boarders at my place, on my own, I very much prefer my current setup of layovers.

A lot of the mistakes were made, my fault for not being proactive from the beginnin. It has been an eye-opening experience for why full-time boarding would not be positive for me or potential boarders.

Lessons learned hard way.multiple times! ><
 
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