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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Ugh! Sorry I just really have to get this off my chest. Warning, I'm frustrated and this might be all over the place. This will also most likely sound like it's coming from a child because my mind is scrambled worse than eggs right now. Stressed, frustrated, still slightly panicked...just bad.

Anyway. Thursday night the middle of the arena collapsed because of snow and ice build up. The barn apparently come to find out is not insured anymore because they refused to maintain or just couldn't afford it which would have been preventable maintenance for the arena and barns. The insurance company dumped them 4 years ago. I started boarding there under the impression they were insured and coming along just fine. Now come to find out they're in debt and I'm pretty sure they won't be able to dig their way out without either selling to break even or declaring bankruptcy. Now I'm kicking myself in the butt because if I had known any of this my horses wouldn't be in the situation they are in. I knew they were struggling a little bit but I had no idea they were in debt and really do not have the funds to run a boarding facility! Looking back, it explains a lot and now I just feel ridiculous and stupid that things didn't pop out at me until this happened.

My trainer is incredibly difficult to describe but I will do the best I can. There's threads buried on here about frustrations I've previously had and taken care of with her. For the last year I've had no issues which was great until now. She's incredibly immature when faced with a decision or situation she has no control over. She throws silent treatments, talks sH&t, rants, mumbles grumbles, and then gets headaches and blames everything on something or somebody else. I told her exactly how and what to feed Lestat and I told her specifically not to feed her the grain she feeds. Beetpulp sure but grain no. It's way too sweet, my girls shouldn't even be getting it and I keep seeing little clumps of it in their feeders! I don't want pethositis or however you spell it in my little boy and this grain will for sure make it happen. No no no no but does she understand it NO. I can't be there to feed in the mornings but I am at night and make sure he gets none except for his hay and his beet pulp. She keeps stressing he'll need minerals and grains later but I'm leaving those decisions to my vet to tell me when and what he can have. It worries me!

Back to the arena collapsing. The Arena is indoor attached to the barn. The barn part is supposedly structurally sound but my girls have their backs to the loose flapping in the wind loud metal sheets hanging from the shambles that used to be the middle of the arena. On Thursday when it collapsed I told her that I was going to be moving my horses. She said it sucked but she understood. That was the end of it. I told her Dad who owns the place and he said he'll miss me, I'm like family and I said if they needed help with clearing things and helping with horses I'll be right around the corner. He and my trainer said thank you.

Today I solidified plans with my friend to haul my girls to the place I'm moving them to on Tuesday. I told my trainer that because of Lestats injury on his shoulder I needed to leave him there full care and I'll pay full board until he is sound to haul. I'll know more from the vet tomorrow. I told her Tuesday evening I'll be moving my girls. Without blowing up in my face but giving me a very nasty cold shoulder and tight tone she says. "The remaining part of the arena is solid. You don't need to move. Your horses are fine and if you move we're out a thousand or more dollars. You can't use our truck anymore if you're not here and what do you want me to do with Lestat when you're not here. Don't you get the arena is standing and there's nothing else wrong? Your horses don't need to go anywhere and if you wait until Lestat is fine you can move them all at once instead of leaving him here. "

I told her "Look. I'm moving my horses and I would move them all at once if I was able to but I am not. I'm moving my girls first because their backs are to the damage, the sheets are flapping and Legacy almost went over her wall because she's terrified of the noise. Colic is one of the last things I or anyone else here needs to deal with right now much less any other injury. I don't need her or any of my others clearing walls because the sheet of metal behind them is scaring them senseless. Besides that I see no reason to pay the amount of board you're asking currently because of this situation. I'm sorry but it's not a fair amount given that half the amenties being paid for in board and no longer available. My horses are turned out next to a wall that could come down at any moment and that alone makes me extremely nervous. I will pay my board up on Lestat and then I will be hauling him out as soon as possible. If his stay lasts into next month I will pay daily for his care until he is sound enough to move but I will not be keeping my horses here."

At this point she started slamming feed cans and buckets and scoops down instead of lightly placing them in their correct places. I told her I talked with her dad and let him know and he was fine with it and completely understood my position. I told her I offered my help in clean up and if they decide to go the outdoor arena route I'd help build it up. I'm not ditching the barn. I'm moving my horses because their safety and comfort is my number one priority.

She comes back with "well are you moving them really because of the arena or because you don't like how I'm taking care of them." I said I truly was moving them because of the arena. It's not safe and I won't have my horses there while there's nails hanging and metal sheets blowing in the wind. I reminded her my horses would be moving in a couple months anyway because I have my own property now and they would be going there, this just happened to come sooner.
I said I'd be out tomorrow and she asked if I could feed for her since she'd be out with her father doing errands and what not. I said no problem. I'd do it anyway.

I left after that because I was starving and needed food before a headache set in. I called my parents and told them the situation. My mom stressed to ask the vet about moving lestat sooner than later so that's my chore for tomorrow. After thinking about everything I'm not kicking myself in the *** for not moving earlier. I would have had to go through her BS either way and she knew last year I was in the process of buying a property and would be moving this year anyway. She was bouncing off the walls and hugging me and squealing when she found out I finally found a place. I understand she's going through a lot right now. I understand they have no way to afford any clearing on the damage but I'd think she'd at least understand the need for safety. If you don't have room to keep horses away from a dangerous situation don't be butt hurt when their owner wants to move them! Simple! Now I'm worried what she's going to do to Lestat if I'm not there all the time. The barn I'm moving to is right up the street and popping in the check on him and give him love every evening isn't going to be an issue, I plan on doing exactly that.

I'm just frustrated.
I'm worried about my horses until I can move them.
I'm worried about the safety in moving Lestat once he's sound to move
I'm worried about what's going to go on when I'm not there
On top of that my insurance company for my horses hasn't processed Legacy and that needs to be done ASAP and I need to get Lestat insured ASAP and can't get a hold of anybody to help me fill out the paperwork! Caleigh has been insured and with the same company and I've never had this many issues getting a hold of somebody!

I just want my horses with me safe and sound. Or at least at their new place up the street. They can chill there safe, I know the owner previously and the downside is a lack of indoor arena, however at the current situation there is no longer and indoor anyway. I have no problem just leaving them there, bringing them out to brush and fuss with. I won't need to worry about pipes breaking and freezing. I can wash off the muddy toes. She knows how to handle stud colts where as I'm coming to think my trainer has no clue. I just want them safe and sound ASAP.

Ok...I think I'm done.
I'll go bake some cookies for anyone who read this. I feel a bit better now. I'm hungry again.
 

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Well, I hope it turns out well for you. Personally, I would move your horse despite the injury, unless the vet says not to or he can walk without anything more than slight stiffness. What type of cookies? I want one!
 

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I'll take a cOokie!! I'm sure they wouldn't insure them anyway if they knew they were not safely housed, and they are not.
These are not inexpensive horses either, each of them is an investment....so she will have to get over it I say!!
Can I have milk too?
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Discussion Starter · #6 · (Edited)
Ummmm cookies can be a mix. *hands out fresh cookies* I'll just bake everything. As for Milk yeah sure! Fridge is that way *points*.

I'm finding out from the vet tomorrow if I can move him. He doesn't know how to haul. He hasa bad shoulder injury and when it was assessed when it happened the vet said he wouldn't be sound to haul for 4-6 weeks. This is only two weeks later and he's not sound to safely haul.

I'm just don't get how she can even think her place is safe for horses! Yeah the stable side might be secure but there is no protection from falling debris from the damage and that's not safe at all! Not to mention the loud flapping metal that scares the crap out of the horses. She herself said she was worried about colic because of it. Moving my horses is safety and preventative because they are in a bad situation! If I could snap and have them moved in a second I would have done it the minute the arena came down but I'm not magic. I'm doing what I can to get them into a better place and as quickly as possible and yes I understand she's under a lot of stress but taking it out on other people is no way to keep a boarder anyway even if it was a safe environment!
 

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financial issues can cause extreme stress and if things are as bad as they are you leaving is a huge financial burden on them and their family life. despite that It does sound that their care is possibly in question? that is more what i would be concerned about is retaliation from the daughter. perhaps you need to voice the concerns to the dad?
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Her dad completely understands why I'm leaving. He's upset about the arena collapsing and he knows it's going to take a lot to fix what's been done but he has no issues with boarders leaving because of this. He's more upset about the damage. I can't go to him about his daughters issues because she'll run him over. He just doesn't bother with that. Not me but previously others have brought up her issues maturity wise and cold shoulder attitude and he's confronted her only to get the cold shoulder and silent treatment back from her. She's really just a little kid when it comes to confronting her about things. Which is why I really wish I could find another trainer all together for Pinto.
Besides her bad attitude in the situation, the last thing her dad needs right now is her attitude to deal with. I feel bad they are in the situation they are in but I'm not staying.
I brought up my care concerns with him in terms of grain and feeding and what not. He said he doesn't feed outside of what my horses would get. He only feed breakfast and then turns horses out. Besides that he's in the other barns and rarely around the barn my girls are in. Everything from 10am on through the day is up to my trainer.
 

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You don't really want to stay in a place that has a fallen down structure right next to your horse, it's an eyesore when to you when are there. Also the BO slamming down feeding scoops & giving the silent treatment, oh smack her! Thanks for the cookies, now I have a craving for fresh baked cookies, phooey.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 · (Edited)
I would love to smack her but only after Lestat is moved. I'm not seriously going to do it but I'm 13 years or so younger than her and my maturity level is way more. I can't begin to think of a valid reason to do that. Especially to someone you want to remain at least your client. I'm going to start looking at pinto trainers. Even if there's one 30 minutes away I'd like to find a different one. If I can't, she's a good trainer for that however right now I just want to get out of there.

you're very welcome for the cookies!
 

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first of all this is a business relationship. Stop acting like you have to justify anything. DOnt argue dont do anything. What does your lease say. Probably that you have to give notice. That is it. "I am moving" you should never have even gotten into a discussion of why. I am moving, period end of discussion. The whys totally dont matter, You could be moving because you dont like the color of the barn. It doesnt matter, your horse, your money. Stop worrying about what they think, or having to justfy anything.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 · (Edited)
Oh I don't give a crap about what they think. I'm moving my horses and I made that very clear.
The point is I'm tired of hearing the SH%t she's trying to pull, justifying things or not. It's not safe for horses. she apparently doesn't understand that. Now my personal thoughts are worries on Lestat. If the vet says he's absolutely unable to be safely hauled to a new location at this time then what's going to happen to him while he stays at the current place until he's sound to move. I gave notice. I said I'm moving my girls Tuesday and Lestat as well if the vet says he can.
Either way whether I explained my reason to leave or not just giving notice as I have in turn receives a cold shoulder and her blubbering back and forth on why she doesn't want to loose a border and this and that. It's unavoidable unless I jumped in my car the second she opens her mouth and just leave and then don't come back until the day I move them which with my nerves, I need to be there to check on my horses knowing the wall of the arena could now come down into their pasture! Believe me I tried to change the conversation, I tried to walk away and mess with my little boy, I interrupted and asked if she needed help with stalls. Instead of going along and talking about something different she was relentless on why I shouldn't leave. I'm tired of it. So originally I was leaving the 5th of next month, now I'm leaving on Tuesday. It's immature and inappropriate. I don't want to hear it from her. It makes the whole situation worse.
The other point I don't get is how she could possibly think her nasty attitude towards this would even remotely change my mind and make me want to stay! It's not even bully talk, it's more like a 5 year old throwing a verbal tantrum because she didn't get her lollipop at the mall.
 

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She might not even be thinking about changing your mind. She might just figure that you are leaving regardless so why bother being nice? Especially if she sees what you are doing as a sort of "abandonment"...

It sounds as if she just doesn't have a lot of people skills. It also sounds as if she needs to work on developing better methods of coping with stress.

You said you are leaving Tuesday...did you ever hear back from the vet about how long for your injured furkid to be able to be moved?
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I'll be seeing or at least talking to the vet tomorrow. He's supposed to be coming out to give him a laser treatment. Today he was prancey and mobile so I'm hoping the vet has good news.
Here's what I think about my trainer based on what she's told me and what I've witnessed. Outside of horses ever since she was a kid she did nothing. It was school and then back to the barn. Her PE credits were riding and teaching lessons through high school. Outside of horses and showing she had no social life except for the once at the barn with her boarders and students. When the barn was given to her it was under her control however her family still owns the property. Out of the three barns on the property this one is hers and her "baby" so to speak. Still well into her adult life there is no social life outside of the barn and shows. She doesn't have control over much else so she tries to take control over what she has i.e the barn, horse in training, lessons...
When she starts to loose that control she can't cope well and because of her lack of social skills she does whatever she can to get rid of stress. So when someone goes out to do something away from her, someone she's become attached to she gets upset. I honestly don't think she understands how she comes off to other people. She doesn't have control over much so she tries to control everything and when it turns out she can't it bothers her more than it should.
 

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That's a bummer. Hopefully the vet will give you the okay to move your colt sooner rather than later.

I've always felt that it was time to move barns whenever you started to feel like you needed to be your horse's advocate to the barn owner instead of feeling like you and the barn owner were on the same side in terms of the horse's care. Not a good feeling, when you have concerns about your horse's care and feel you need to be at loggerheads with the BO over various issues.
 

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I'll be brutally honest.

I don't understand why people let a service provider treat them that way.

I wouldn't put up with this crap for more than it would take me to find a different barn, certainly not a year or more.
My trainer is incredibly difficult to describe but I will do the best I can. There's threads buried on here about frustrations I've previously had and taken care of with her. For the last year I've had no issues which was great until now. She's incredibly immature when faced with a decision or situation she has no control over. She throws silent treatments, talks sH&t, rants, mumbles grumbles, and then gets headaches and blames everything on something or somebody else.
I also do not understand why these situations are so full of drama.

If I were in your shoes I would not engage this "trainer" in any discussions about why you are leaving. It is none of her business. Whether she agrees with your assesment of the barn's physical condition or not is completely irrelevant.
 

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I'll be brutally honest.

I don't understand why people let a service provider treat them that way.

I wouldn't put up with this crap for more than it would take me to find a different barn, certainly not a year or more.


I also do not understand why these situations are so full of drama.

If I were in your shoes I would not engage this "trainer" in any discussions about why you are leaving. It is none of her business. Whether she agrees with your assesment of the barn's physical condition or not is completely irrelevant.
While I tend to agree, remember, the OP has one horse who may not be able to move right now. So, I can certainly understand why she is placating her at the moment. I am not really sure why wait until Tuesday, but there must be a really good reason. I also understand that over time, regardless of the trainers attitude, you develop a relationship with people. Perhaps she is difficult, but she does have some knowledge that the OP can use, which makes it a little tough to totally blow her off until a new trainer can be found. We all know that many trainers can be "difficult" at times, and we have to blow it off to achieve the greater goal. I certainly would never do anything but try to appease someone who is responsible for my horses-even for a couple more days. After we are gone-anything goes, and yeah-a good [email protected]# slap is in order, :wink:IMO.:wink:
 

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I agree with both franknbeans and mildot, and it is a hard situation for you to be in.
So, did the cookies turn out to be tasty? Any left?
Hope the vet visit goes well!
 

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*hand is out for freshed baked cookies.....

ooh...me too!!! :lol: Dang..what an ordeal!!!

I hope you get things sorted out very soon!!! There is absolutely no way you can move your colt sooner??? I would not want to leave him there with someone so uh...emotionally unstable...
 
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