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Discussion Starter #1
So I've been debating whether or not to post this, but I guess I will because you guys normally give pretty good advice. Its a bit of a long story, so I'll try and explain it the best I can.

So I've had a pretty bad last term of school. There were a lot of inappropriate rumours said about me, I left my group of friends, my 2 closest friends moved away, and now my best friend has finished school.

So, awhile ago, I liked Drew and he liked me back, but I really don't like him anymore. I just want to be friends with him, but it doesn't help that at my friend's party we hooked up. He's always inviting me to places and parties but I like never go especially with him.

So at the start of this week, I was at the beach with Kurt and he said he wants to be more than friends and I was like 'Yerr I want that too.' So we've been hanging out pretty much all this week. And he came over and helped me this afternoon with the horses and he was cool with that so I'm pretty happy about that.

But I'm really confused because apparently Drew still likes me, but I don't want him to get hurt cause we're really close friends. I really love Drew as a friend, but I really don't like him that way and I don't wanna lose him. And I really don't want Drew and Kurt to fight. I really just don't know how to deal with it. I don't wanna lose any of them, they mean the world to me.

But I'm super angry too. I thought I was having a great week, but apparently it's got round that I'm with Kurt, and I've been getting some really mean messages on MSN from girls and even today a girl in the grade above me coughed 's!^t' when she walked past me today at the shops. I don't get it. How can people judge when they don't know me? That girl's comment was totally out of line and she's lucky I'm not the kinda girl who'll say anything back to it. I'm so effing angry. People can't just say stuff when they don't even know me. I'm nearly close to just going off my nut and exploding insults at them.

My best friend, Lauren has finished school so I really have no close girl friends at school. I'm so worried about going back to school because everythings changed so much since the start of the year.

There's a lot more to Drew+Kurt part, but I'm trying to keep this simple and it hurts too much to explain it. I really don't want negative feedback guys, I just want advice. I've left out some parts because I know I will get a bad response from them.

I'm just so confused and angry and worried. I've had the worst year, and these holidays are just driving me nuts. I could really use some help guys.
 

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Well first off, the Drew and Kurt part... Drew is not going to be the first guy in your life you are going to hurt. You wouldn't stay with a guy you don't like and pass up the guy you do because someone is going to get hurt, would you? Its just life. It really sucks, but I promise Drew will get over it. If you like the other guy then you should date him, its your prerogative. Its unfortunately true that Drew will be hurt, and its likely your friendship will be affected. But if he was any kind of a friend to begin with, you'll be friends again eventually. And if you're not, well, then its probably someone you wouldn't want in your life anyway. Sounds cliche, but its fact. And an excellent moral to live by. If Drew met another girl during all these "complications" do you think he'd be this concerned about you? Probably not, everyone is just looking out for #1, and you should too. Which brings me to my next point...

When people talk crap about you behind your back, my advice is to say something! You dont have to go spread rumors or yell in their face, but get assertive! Ask them what their problem is, and where they got their information. Thats not aggressive, its assertive! That girl that coughed a name at you under her breath is a coward. She couldn't say it to your face. Its ok to care, but you don't need to care that much. Are these girls your friend? If not, who cares what they think. There are going to be a lot of people in your life that don't like you for no reason. Its a good lesson to learn now. You have friends that care about you very much. You know that. And if all else fails, just know that things like this, aren't forever. It will blow over in a month. And if it doesn't then those girls really are losers. And that should make you laugh!

Good Luck!
 

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You've gotten great tips from HeartMyOTTB.

I'd recommend you to tell Drew how things are. Since also I'm very conscious about others' feelings I feel your pain. But you have to live just for you, hun. You'll be free to do as just you want after telling him, plus he needn't to cherish dreams that will never come true anymore. You can make it very sensitive way but be honest. Also I think he'll get hurt, but if he's true friend he'll be back you some day. Sometimes you just have to hurt others a bit so you can live your life, even you wouldn't want to =(.

About gossiping girls, my tactic is let them be. Just let them talk crap about you as much as they want but let them understand that you just don't care. Of course it doesn't feel nice but just focus on your friends and other nice things. You see, it isn't nice to talk crap about people if you won't get a reaction from them :wink:.

About a friend thing, I wish good luck to you. Perhaps you can find some new friends in the school? Just keep your mind open if there are some people who are ready to accept you or need friends. If you don't, I hope you'll have some good friends outside of your school :).
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Thanks guys.
Its really hard at school because I sit with a large group but honestly I can say that there is only 4 people at my school now who I classify as my friends. Its so much harder though, because none of us are together in our classes.
And you know, people always say just be nice to others and I am but its so hard for me to make new friends. At the start of the year, I had a rumour going around that I got with a senior boy and everybody started hating me. That rumour wasn't even true, but it didn't matter how much I told people that. People talk to me at school and they're friendly, but I just find it so hard to trust people who don't believe me.

And I have no idea how to approach Drew. I keep thinking and all that pops into my head is "Uhh Drew, I'm with Kurt." and I know that will just hurt his feelings so bad. I'm losing everyone close to me, and its really affecting me and my life.

Why does everything bad just like to happen all at once?
 

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And I have no idea how to approach Drew. I keep thinking and all that pops into my head is "Uhh Drew, I'm with Kurt." and I know that will just hurt his feelings so bad. I'm losing everyone close to me, and its really affecting me and my life.

Why does everything bad just like to happen all at once?
Yep... Pretty much. "Drew, your my friend, thats why I wanted to tell you myself, but I have been hanging out with Kurt lately and I thought you should know."

You could even say, "You are going to hear a bunch of crap about me because of it. But you know me, and I hope that you don't listen to the rumors, and just ask me first."

He might not say anything. Or he might **** and moan in your face. Be prepared for either. Also, be prepared for him to ignore you for a while. Its going to suck, but hold strong!! Say hi to him when you see him, even a smile will do. And move on with your life... Its ok. It doesn't make you a bad person. How old are you? High school I am assuming, so 16, 17? Just remember as you move through these life experiences that your perception of things are correct. You don't have to second guess yourself and that is something you want to keep in mind as an adult.

Like I said before, you can care. But you dont have to care that much and you're still a nice person.
 

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First, you need to tell Drew about Kurt before anyone else does. If he hears about it on the sly, it'll hurt him even worse if he has to confront you. He deserves to hear it from you, if you care about him as a friend as much as you say you do.

One thing you need to remember is that NO ONE is responsible for your happiness except you. Having or not having certain people and things in your life can be discouraging, but giving in to despair or rolling with the punches is completely up to you.

I was a teenager once, and remember the emotional rollercoasters. I learned long ago that if other people make me miserable, it's my fault for letting them. No one can make you feel inferior unless you've given them permission to do so!

If you want to be with Kurt, then it needs to be out in the open for God and everyone to see. If you're running around behind the scenes, all I can think is that either one or both of you have something to hide.

Growing up is hard. Being a grownup is harder. We all have to take that path, and do the best we can with the cards we're dealt.

Running away from your problems doesn't solve them, it only makes them harder to control once you have to face them.

Good luck. This is just one of many personal and emotional battles you'll have to fight in your lifetime. How you handle it will set the ground work for the adult you're going to become.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Great, just great!!
So I didn't tell Drew about me and Kurt, just cause I was really trying to think things through and then tonight on MSN, Drew starts insulting me, saying some rather inappropriate stuff. Yerr, I tried explaining what happened, but he just kept going off. And I kinda went off at him, cause he kept bringing up sh!t about my past, so I went starting reminding him of all the stupid things he'd done. He shouldn't have insulted me and then maybe I wouldn't have said stuff about him. But now we're fighting and its...bad. I probably shouldn't have insulted him and just rocked up at his house and tried to smooth things over, but its too little, too late.
Now I really don't know what to do. I thought it was worse before, but its worse now.

And to make things even worse, Dylan tried talking to me today. Well, not really talking more like flirting. What the heck gives him the right to talk to me? He ruined my life at the start of the year, saying all the sh!t he did. Because of him, I have the worst reputation. You know, I think I should just get Kurt to punch him in the face at the next party. If he tries one more thing on me, I seriously am going to lose it! He frustrates me and I have no idea what to do. And its not like he's flirting with me because he likes me, he's flirting with me because of my rep.

I hate life. FML. Seriously.
 

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I'm sorry. Perhaps you should just let the things and emotions to cool off a bit before trying to talk with Drew (if you even try to talk with him again)?

About Dylan, I'd ignore him totally if I were you. People who've made your life intentionally difficult don't deserve your attention. Just say 'excuse me', pass him and walk away if he tries to talk or flirt with you.
 
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